Feeling lonely

[Kimi89]

I don't usually post about feelings but I've been struggling a bit lately so here it goes! I've been feeling lonely and worry it will get worse when I've had my baby and not at work. None of my friends have asked to meet up for a long time, even though they know I have down days. I'm missing out on the support a mum gives as mine passed 6 years ago. I would have expected my close friends to ask to meet up but they don't. I only really hear from them if I contact them. I unstand they have their own lives but this is my first pregnancy and I thought they would take more of an interest. My only social outlet really is work ATM. I'm worried I'll become isolated when baby comes. Even my sister has not seen me since I've been pregnant! I told her I missed her and wanted to meet up, on the day she text me saying she forgot because she needed to go food shopping! I gave up after that. Besides my husband I've had no support with the pregnancy, I just muddle through myself, read stuff online and google any questions I have. I've not done any baby shopping with friends or family.

Sorry to moan ☹️

 

[Mariexo]

Completely understandable how you're feeling. The first thing that came to my mind when reading this is that we need to remember that other people around us are not as "into" us being pregnant as we are. We find it incredible and want to talk about it all the time and it's always on our minds... Whereas those around us who aren't the one pregnant are different and I think they forget a lot of the time and so their efforts towards you don't seem to increase regardless the situation.

It sucks that you're feeling this way but all I can say is perhaps you have somewhat the wrong people in your life if they aren't being supportive of you when you need them the most???

When I went to my booking appointment, I didn't mention anything about loneliness, but the lady I had my appointment with made a suggestion of the parenting classes, because you can meet lots of other ladies there in the same boat as you who you could develop wonderful friendships with!

As much as all the support and everything is nice, sometimes you only need one person - your OH

But everyone is different and I completely understand how you're feeling. I know it's not the same but all of us in the pg section are in the same boat as you and I can't speak for everyone else, but I am sure they'd agree regardless, I am here if you ever want to talk or fangirl over the whole pregnancy thing! Lol.

Chin up sweetiepie!!! Xx

 

[Kimi89]

Thank you ❤️

I see your point in others not being as excited about the pregnancy as it doesn't really effect them, I just thought we were closer than this. They say the right things but don't follow it up if that makes sense!
The children's centre I see my midwife at hold different groups for mums and babies. I've had a look at a few. Whenever I'm waiting for my appointment I get funny looks from the other mums because I'm heavily tattooed with pink hair! That doesn't bother me though, I just hope when I go to actuall classes with my baby I'm not treated differently.
My OH is being great, he's doesn't be fully appreciate the strain pregnant puts on you but how could he lol.
Thank you for the offer of support! It's so lovely that someone I don't known is being so nice when people I've known for years don't make an effort xxx

 

[MrsS15]

Hi Kim,

It's really difficult when you're going through something so special and precious to you but your friends really don't seem bothered. It's hurtful too! Most of my friends already have children and one of my oldest friends is ttc her second so hopefully we'll get to do this one together. When I had my son I was young and I didn't know anyone with babies bar my sisters so I just spent most of my time with them to be honest. This time I definitely plan to join some parenting groups when baby is born, even though I had my sisters I did find being a mum very isolating first time round.

No one will judge you hun, you'll all be mummies and that's what you have in common, not the colour of your hair and if you're inked or not xxx

 

[Kimi89]

The annoying thing is one of them has two little boys so knows what I'll be going through and only lives 5 minutes from me but still doesn't make an effort. I'll start looking at parenting groups this week and make some plans. I don't want to talk to my friends about this in case they cut me off completely.

 

[Blueclass]

Hi it's hard and I totally get where your coming from. I was the same and thought id see more of my friends who had babies once I had mine only that wasnt the case. They was always too busy. I started going to baby groups in our local childrens centers which was really good. Also of you can affored it look at nct antenatal classes as they are generally more for building a support group. I did nhs class and stayed in contact with 5 of the mums which is nice. Unfortunately No one will be as excited as you think or would hooe as its not them I guess. Even my mum was like I'm so excited... half the time she never cared lol. Xx