Feeling anxious and unsettled in the evening

[positivity :)]

hi girls, sorry for all the questions this week. its my first week with a newborn and i'm still finding my feet.

i'm not sure why but since we came home every night i am feeling really anxious. both OH and me are fine during the day but come about 7pm i start feeling a little sick and nervous. OH admitted he felt uneasy in the evenings too. i'm not sure why though?? baby seems fine but two evenings have actually ended in tears for me.

my OH is going back to work tomorrow just for 2 days and then he is off for xmas which is great as he has been fantastic, all is fine but i can't help feel this horrible feeling each evening has anyone else had this?

xxx

 

[MrsR]

Maybe you're worried more about LO? I know that during the day I was fine with both children but I used to panic at night that something would happen whilst I was sleeping x it must also be hard knowing that your OH is going back to work even just for two days x that could be causing a bit of stress too? I also think that just generally worries and stress are easily ignored/avoided during the day as you're busy etc and can often catch up with you at night x

 

[littlemiss83]

I get a wee bit anxious at nights too - more so in the first cpl of weeks. Think for me it was a mixture of nights being the most stressful, at night we want to sleep but during the day are more willing/able to cuddle baby all day. Also the usual worries about something happening in their sleep. Which is why I went & bought one of those movement monitors when LO was about a week old. Made evenings a wee bit easier.

Much as I love being a mummy - its one big worry from pregnancy onwards, doesn't go away when they get older either..

 

[positivity :)]

Much as I love being a mummy - its one big worry from pregnancy onwards, doesn't go away when they get older either..

i'm so suprised at how worried and anxious i'm feeling, if i'm to be completely honest, i'm not enjoying it as much as i thought i would so far hope i settle a bit more over the next few weeks xx

 

[Olive]

I can't offer any advice hun, but know I'll feel the same. Just take each day as it comes and remember you're a fab mummy.xxx

 

[Sarah13]

I think the other girls are right we tend to feel more worried at night incase something might happen while we're asleep or we wont wake for them etc. The feelings do get better though, they are more intense the first few weeks as one minute your baby is inside you and you feel every movement the next they are in the big wide world where it feels harder to protect them. Littlemiss is right though motherhood is a big worry just the worries change as they get older.

 

[Cantstop]

I used to feel anxious and stressed at night too, I actually used to stay up until 4am because before then I just felt like there was no point going to sleep because I'd only have to get up again soon and deal with the baby. It seems mad now. It could be any one of the things suggested or a combo or something else, but I'm sure it will pass as time goes on - after one week no one knows what they're doing and it's all totally weird still; give it a month or two to find your feet and I'm sure you'll start to enjoy it more

 

[littlemiss83]

Its normal to think its not as good as you thought it would be. Its rare to see what having a baby is really like, unless you live with one.

Its just all the wee extra things that add up I think, the lack of sleep, constantly on the go, worries, ect ect, its absolutely exhausting & its very hard to think....ahhh what a nice wee baby, when its been screaming the house down for hours on end. Kayden screamed for 4 hours straight tonight. I had to leave him in the room himself coz nothing would help.

It defo gets better!! Just wait til he's less demanding & your getting more sleep & you can enjoy his wee smiles ect.

Cantstop - i've just realised what i've been doing!!! Kayden's been sleeping through the night for the last cpl of days from 8-7am...but me...i've not had more than 4 hours sleep since he was born - i always sit up late, i've never known why - even when my eyes are rolling back in my head I still sit up, most days I go to bed at 4 & get up at 7 for skl run - i thought i was enjoying my free time too much...god knows, OH pulled me up about it today...so i'm off to bed for the earliest time in months (12pm)

 

[positivity :)]

thanks girls.

Littlemiss, thank you for your reply. I know it will get easier but i suppose like you say its the mix of all the changes going on and worries.

i'm finding that i am not sleeping when i can and staying up later just to enjoy some 'me' time...and some PF time

xx

 

[littlemiss83]

I dont really like getting woke up by the piercing crys so I tend to stay up just so I can hear him stir & get things organised...before he wakes up the whole house....

 

[knopk@]

Pos, do try to sleep when he does. Sleep deprivation is no joke, it can get to you. I think evenings are more of a worry because you know the ling night is ahead.
Do get some me time but when your OH has the baby.
I enjoy motherhood now more than couple of months ago but it's still bloody hard work!

 

[DaisyPurple]

Your right it really is hard work, and Pos how your feeling is completely normal I felt like that too when my little man was newborn it is one hell of a transition your going through, but you will get through it, I too would advise sleep when baby sleeps until you regain your strength as the sleep deprivation does get to you, XXX

 

[knopk@]

Also dont forget about baby blues,they are completely normal but shouldnt last long

 

[Alexandra84]

I felt something similar for the first 4 weeks or so. I also used to get what I can only describe as mild panic attacks (heart rate would jump up and I would get an adrenalin rush) when the baby was sleeping, especially when I would think that she might wake up at any moment and need something and that I wouldn't know what it was that I had to do to make her happy .

All gone now thank goodness. I think you get more relaxed as you get to know your LO better and get more experience caring for them.

As for sleeping. Really DO try to take a nap and catch up on sleep during the day when the baby is sleeping. It is really REALLY important and will make you feel more rested and better able to cope, honestly!

 

[Minchin]

yes agree with what all the others have said. I used to get this a lot, after a few months was less anxious in the evening, i could physically feel it coming on every night, talking to OH and acknowledging how i felt made it easier.

it's a really tough time those first few weeks hon, you are doing brill I'm sure

 

[pinkymum]

I was also really anxious at first Pos, it took me till she was 5 months old to be able to relax and watch a full TV programme. Although I've always been prone to anxiety - I worry far too much about little things.
I agree that it seems quite normal especially after reading other ppls experiences. Obviously if it's really bothering you and continuing def speak to your GP or HV
Have you tried the usual relaxing things? Warm bath? Book? Etc

 

[TiffanyJaynexo]

I feel a little anxious at night too hun.
I think it's because Grace doesn't settle very well at night, so when we get into bed (which is always in the early hours of the morning) Grace takes a while to settle and sometimes it ends up with her sleeping in bed with us rather than in her own basket She'll sleep for a good few hours during the day, but when we go to bed she'll only get 2/3 hours. She's sleeping in her moses basket right now on the living room floor and has been for a while so I don't think it's the moses basket that's causing problems, I think she's just a night owl! She was very active in my womb at night so I think she's continuing that now.

I also feel anxious at night because of SIDS. I can nap on the sofa when she's asleep in the day but when me and OH are in bed and she's either in the basket or my arms, I'm terrified of something horrible happening to her.

xxx

 

[positivity :)]

Thanks

Iv tried a bath and trying to relax in the evening seems to be helping. I'm feeling a fair bit better today, emotionally and physically. I guess it's going to be a rollercoaster over the first few months! Xx

 

[positivity :)]

Also dont forget about baby blues,they are completely normal but shouldnt last long

I am wondering if it is this but feels like it's getting better already xxx

 

[Piglet's Mama]

Pos! I didn't know you'd had your little man! Have just been searching for your labour watch/birth story but I can't find it!

Firstly - mahoosive congrats! Secondly - big big hug! These days/weeks will feel like a big scary blur but take it one feed at a time, one nap at a time, one day at a time. I promise it gets easier. It took me weeks to get to know Brooke and even now she has days where she kicks off and doesn't even know what she wants herself. Just try to enjoy it all as much as possible, sleep when little man does, eat when you can, get 5 mins to have a cuddle with your OH and remember you're doing fab! Xxx