Feeling a bit down :(

[Hunnie]

About the whole cesarean thing . I know it doesn't matter how baby gets here as long as they're healthy and well but I can't help feel disappointed that the likelihood of me ever actually labouring naturally will most likely never happen . I just feel a bit of a failure really that I can't do it properly.

 

[pinkyprincess]

Tbh I've never understood the 'failing' thing. I had a terrible, terrible induction that left me really sick and exhausted, it also distressed my baby let alone me and OH. That moment when they started prepping me for theatre I actually relaxed! It's a lot harder mentally I think going through the gruelling 6 weeks of recovery! I've barely left the house since leaving hospital.

I think the fact that you've been through MAJOR surgery is something to be proud of. So what our babies weren't pushed, they were SAFE which is the no 1 priority. Really hate the way sections get slated!

 

[Lilelephant]

I don't see c section a failing either u did what was safest for LO and I think a c section is harder than a vaginal birth because of the recovery!

U should be proud of urself!

 

[Smithy1980]

^wss I had an horrific 3 days before LO got here by emergency section and like you I was saying to my oh how much of a failure I felt! Like he said at the end of the day LO was safe and how could I be a failure after carrying our gorgeous baby for 9 months and then going through all f that!

You've done fantastic hun and you should never feel like that....LO is safe and well and mummy too which is all that matters xxx


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[AugustMum]

Its such a massive thing to come to terms with. You spend 9 months waiting for the birth and then all of a sudden things change so quickly and everything you'd planned for are different.

I still struggle to come to terms with it 18 months on but I can now happily say that Im ok with what happened but sometimes Ill have dreams or moments during the day where the fear of it all happening again will come and it panics me.

I had a mixture of PND and post traumatic stress due to the birth and found speaking to my health visitor helped massively. He came and spoke to me every 2 weeks for about 3 months and helped arrange for me to speak to a consultant and talk through the birth with me and even got my spirits up a little about having another child (although this thought still terrifies me, I think if it were to happen I could cope). Is there a midwife or hv you feel comfortable speaking to about it? Even if you could speak to them and just get them to listen to your birth story all the way through you might find it helps a little.

x

 

[Esoames]

It's natural to feel like this and I still do. Like my chances of every having a natural birth are reduced. I still feel down about it 15 months on. Baby got here safe and that's all that matters, recovery is hard but don't beat yourself up about it as I wasted 3 months of my daughters life getting upset about it xx


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[Hunnie]

I have to admit I do forget that it is classed as major surgery but I think that's cos I've had to get back to normality so soon like going to the farm twice a day and having everything in the house to do by myself.

I also think I feel like this because I never even thought about the possibility of me even having a c section so I completely wasn't ready for it at all. I thought of everything else like stitches and forceps but not c section.

I've got referral to the emotional health team or something because I struggled the first night but I think I'll speak to them about this.

I think as well the only reason I feel like this as well is because it's something I can't have so it makes me want it more.

 

[Olive]

You're not a failure at all hun.

You know, my neighbour actually told me I was lucky to have a c section like it's a walk in the park! I never expected it to be so sore afterwards and especially never expected to feel so blue afterwards. I'm starting to feel a lot better now healing wise though. Hope you are too.

Xxxx

 

[NinjaKitty]

I don't think I failed coz of the c section but I do feel cheated out of my labour experience. The last thing I wanted was a c section and my recovery since has been a nightmare.

I feel that I went wrong when I agreed to induction due to a high blood pressure read. I just don't think my body was ready for birth which is why my induction failed. I was gutted after 3 days induction and 12 hours of drip induced labour not to get past 3cm dilated. I just wish I'd asked if BP could be controlled via meds and tried to get at least a week further on. I doubt whether I'll be doing this again but at least I'd know for next time.

 

[Esoames]

I also think I feel like this because I never even thought about the possibility of me even having a c section so I completely wasn't ready for it at all. I thought of everything else like stitches and forceps but not c section.

I was the same adamant I wouldn't have one and tbh I wasn't even aware they did emergency sections for missed breech babies like mine, I was so blinkered by wanting a water birth that I dismissed every other option x



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[Hunnie]

You're not a failure at all hun.

You know, my neighbour actually told me I was lucky to have a c section like it's a walk in the park!

My mum said this to me! She had to have stitches with my brother and they ended up infected and said that I've recovered 10x better than what she did, but its not the point .

I do definitely feel like I've been cheated out of a major stage in life as I was never actually classed as being in labour!

I'd like to consider vbac next time but I dont see it happening

 

[ForestLas80]

Hun I still refer to Fin's arrival as me "giving birth" even though I had a c-section. U should too, it's not something to be ashamed about. I was so expecting no drug, water birth and said c-section would be worst case scenario but after the 5 days/nights of latent labour I really couldn't wait 4 the c-section. For me I now can't have natural births in the future as Fin was so stuck under my ribs they had to cut my uterus vertically as well. Tbh I am so relieved I had a section as it scares me more thinking what could have happened to Fin if we were left to our own devices. U hold your head up high there will be plenty of opportunities to have natural births for u Hun xxx