Feel like my heart has been ripped out......

Discussion in 'Coping with Miscarriage & Loss' started by leean10, Jun 22, 2013.

  1. leean10

    leean10 Well-Known Member

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    And stamped into the ground!!

    My sister is pregnant, it was an accident and unplanned but she is keeping it!!

    She must have fallen about 2 weeks after my mc last month but I have been told I was to be happy for her and a little sad for myself!! I am not allowed to grieve and it's killing me!!
     
  2. CARNAT22

    CARNAT22 Well-Known Member

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    Gosh Leeann, what bad timing hey?

    My sister has fallen pregnant with 2 of her 3 babies whilst on the pill (although never why I was TTC but she did find out she was pregnant about a month after my bro and SIL had a m/c which was a bit awkward!!)

    With my first loss two lifelong friends had already announced pregnancies just before I got my BFP. One was due 20th Dec, the other 31st Dec and I would have been due 4th Jan.

    That was my latest and most prolonged loss and watching two friends progress with healthy pregnancies was very bittersweet.

    How close are you with your sister hun? Do you feel about to totally frank with her and explain how difficult this will be for you.

    Yes you love her and you will love your little niece or nephew but she must be respectful of your feelings.

    You do learn to separate your losses from other peoples pregnancies / babies though. I never see my friends kids and think "wow I should have an 18 month old too"....

    xxxxxxx
     
    #2 CARNAT22, Jun 22, 2013
    Last edited: Jun 22, 2013
  3. twixi

    twixi Well-Known Member

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    Aww no it's horrible to this way. There are loads of pregnancies around me just now too and I'm so jealous.
    Been really down the last few days and fed up with my body doing weird things, wish my cycle would sort itself out!
    I really hope we get our sticky bfps soon it's the only thing that will lift this feeling xx
     
  4. leean10

    leean10 Well-Known Member

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    We are quite close, we see each other every week and I was the last one to know!!

    She didn't want to upset me but how can I not be? I am currently in my 2ww and stupidly did a test this morning at 6dpo so knew it would be a BFN!!

    I guess I just have to wait now and see if I get my positive now!!
     
  5. jojo3972

    jojo3972 Well-Known Member

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    I'm realy sorry leeann this must be a realy difficult time for you I can totally sympathise with u, after my mc last yr my family where a bit weirded with me and they had Daniel tell me the little secret they had been keeping from me that my nephews gf was pregnant :-( of course I was sad and all I could think about was why can't I keep hold of a baby in my belly no more it's not fair then it seemed the world was against me cos everyone seemed to get pregnant then friends family everyone it got easier but every scan that was put on Facebook was a stab in the heart it still hurts now , big hugs xx
     
  6. leean10

    leean10 Well-Known Member

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    I have 2 friends that are pregnant as well so this just adds to my heartbreak!! Maybe I'm being selfish but I only lost my baby 7 weeks ago and this hurts so bad :-( x
     
  7. Daley

    Daley Well-Known Member

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    Oh Hun, what horrible timing! Thinking of you xxx
     
  8. Cosmogirl7

    Cosmogirl7 Well-Known Member

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    Oh god Lee-Ann, thats so tough must be so difficult for you. Im guessing your sister knows about your 6 miscarriages?

    My SIL announced she was pregnant the day after i got out hospital with my ruptured ovary last year which was the first month we had been ttc. So shes been pregnant the whole time we've been ttc and then i had my miscarriage last week. Shes not my favourite person anyway but i just dont want to hear a thing about her pregnancy. I know its immature and petulant but i really wish my husband would just stop talking about her and suggesting to meet up with her. Im just not interested and makes me feel like a total failure that it all worked out perfectly for her first time but its been so hard for us. Life is so cruel sometimes :(

    Whats your oh saying? Xxx
     
  9. Dee28

    Dee28 Well-Known Member

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    God the universe can be a bitch sometimes, I'm so sorry you've had this added to your plate xx
     
  10. jojo3972

    jojo3972 Well-Known Member

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    Ur not selfish leeann not in the least xx
     
  11. leean10

    leean10 Well-Known Member

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    He's trying to keep my mind off it, he even offered to take me clothes shopping!! X
     
  12. SeonaidMac

    SeonaidMac Well-Known Member

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    Oh hun i really feel for you... for me its the other way round... my sister and I both found out we were pregnant at the same time... she was 2 days ahead of me.... when she went for her 12 week scan there was no hb and everything this time for me has been fine... she already has a wee boy he's 2.5 and i'd had 2 losses already...

    I'm trying not to rub it in her face but it's hard not to be excited with it being my first... xxx

    She'll be finding it difficult too and probably held of telling you because she didn't know how to... sending huge hugs to you both xxxx
     
  13. leean10

    leean10 Well-Known Member

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    Thanks, I just have to try and get over it!! I'm into my 2ww now anyway so I'm hoping!! X
     
  14. AJay

    AJay Well-Known Member

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    Fingers crossed for you - here's an extra handful of sparkly baby dust xx
     
  15. leean10

    leean10 Well-Known Member

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    Thanks ladies, I am feeling better about it than I was x
     
  16. AJay

    AJay Well-Known Member

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    Glad you are feeling a bit better x In your 2ww you have a world full of hope for that bfp. Hope is a wonderful feeling so let it fill your most difficult moments. xx
     
  17. Lolly85x

    Lolly85x Well-Known Member

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    Ah no... Your sister must not have known how to tell you. Must be so hard for you. Fingers crossed this is a good 2ww xx
     
  18. leean10

    leean10 Well-Known Member

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    It's getting better now but not perfect!! My nephew is over the moon and talks about it non stop but he doesn't realise that it upsets me x
     

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