family smokers.. :(

Discussion in 'Pregnancy Chat' started by BKR123, Jul 24, 2013.

  1. BKR123

    BKR123 Well-Known Member

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    a lot of my OH's family smoke, not just a few either. I have two questions, first is:

    am I within my rights to tell them not to smoke if they come over my house because I dont want the smell in my house (OH wont say anything to them)

    and my second:

    when baby is born, can I ask them to not smoke around my baby? I really dont like the idea of them having a fag then holding my baby with their smokey-ness all around them, or pushing the pushchair smoknig behind it :(

    I know it will have to be me that says anything to them if I am going to say something because OH likes the easy life!

    Do you think I should say something now, I'm due in 3 weeks, or wait until the baby is born, or should I not say anything at all as it isnt down to me to ask others not to do something? :/
     
  2. Ella1979

    Ella1979 Well-Known Member

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    I would say yes you are within your rights to ask them not to smoke in your house and also not to smoke around your baby. It's your house and your baby and the risks of second hand smoke are well proven. I'm sure your OH's family will respect your wishes. As for when to tell them, I'm not sure - possibly once the baby is born? You never know, they may automatically not smoke around your baby...
     
  3. JoanneG79

    JoanneG79 Well-Known Member

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    I luckily don't have any family or in-laws who smoke, I was the only one. But I would probably give them the benefit of the doubt to begin with and assume they would be respectful and not smoke around your baby. However, if they are about to light up in your home, I would have no hesitation in telling them that you are unhappy with them smoking around you or your baby.
     
  4. SunnySue

    SunnySue Well-Known Member

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    The answer to both questions is - YES! Of course you have the right to ask that they do not smoke in your house, especially if you are a non-smoker yourself. And I would definitely make it clear to them that you do not want them smoking near your baby (I think this goes without saying?).
    My Mum is a heavy smoker , OH also smokes as do many of our friends and family. As soon as I got my BFP I made it clear that I did not want any smoke near me (I myself was a smoker until I got my BFP). Nobody ever smoked in our home from that day, I make them all go outside no matter what the weather LOL!
    I also made it clear that I did not want any smoke around the baby and asked them all to refrain from holding/touching the baby immediately after smoking and ask them to wash their hands.
    All of my friends and family have been very supportive of this and i'm sure yours will be too.
    If anyone does have a problem with it then tough - your baby comes first end of.
    Good luck with everything x
     
  5. Iwant3

    Iwant3 Well-Known Member

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    you have every right in your own home pregnant or not.....just ask everyone if they wouldn't mind stepping outside to smoke if they are at your house.......:)
     
  6. BKR123

    BKR123 Well-Known Member

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    Thanks everyone :) I feel a bit more confident now in telling them! Thank-you :) xx
     
  7. k8_005

    k8_005 Well-Known Member

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    agree i think you have every right id also ask that they wash hands etc before holding baby if have been out for a cigarette etc. xxx
     
  8. Clairabelle

    Clairabelle Well-Known Member

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    You are well within your rights to ask people not to smoke in your house anyway (it would be very rude of anyone to expect to smoke in your house if you are not smokers yourselves) and especially more so with a baby. Also you are not being unreasonable to ask them not to smoke around baby at all and to wash their hands if they have just had a cigarette. After all this is your baby and people should respect your wishes. Hopefully they will be sensible enough to not smoke around baby anyway so you may not have to say anything, so personally I would wait and see what happens. Good luck xx
     
  9. Jayjay027

    Jayjay027 Well-Known Member

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    My MIL is a smoker and she had to be told that if she smells at all of smoke, even slightly, she wasn't holding Sophia. We also told her that if her house smelled like smoke we wouldn't take her there. It may seem harsh but its what we felt was right for our DD. Her health is more important.
    You are well within ur rights to put ur childs health before their nasty habits x

    Tapatalking from my blackberry!
     
  10. diane

    diane Well-Known Member

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    You are within your rights to tell them, yes! All my in laws smoke and I'm having to get my hubby to say no to loads of get togethers as I just don't want my daughter around smoke!
     
  11. Mummybexee

    Mummybexee Well-Known Member

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    No one smokes in my house

    If they want to smoke go outside or piss off

    That includes me when I smoked and my husband who smokes

    It's your house :)
     
  12. Mrsmac1507

    Mrsmac1507 Well-Known Member

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    They shouldn't feel they have a right to smoke in ur home if ur a non smoker- baby or not. I would really try and get ur oh on board with this too, especially as its his side of family, there is no excuse for him to be blasé about this and it shouldn't be up to u all the time To address this with them.
     
  13. Jojo84

    Jojo84 Well-Known Member

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    My dad is a smoker and has always gone outside to smoke when he comes over. In fact on the runup to my wedding he switched to those electronic ones so he didn't smell on my wedding day :)

    He's very careful not to smoke around me even when we go out now

    I would explain to them that you don't want smoke in the house anymore and that they should wash their hands before handling the baby. We have alcohol handwash beside the door - lemon scented.

    And yes. Is say so now. Next time they try to light up I would tell them "do you mind going outside? Think of it as practise for when the baby comes"
     
    #13 Jojo84, Jul 24, 2013
    Last edited: Jul 24, 2013
  14. douglasxox

    douglasxox Well-Known Member

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    You are 100% within your rights - I would politely explain now why you don't want smoke around your newborn. I don't think you're being unreasonable in any way at all. I was a smoker and stopped before I started trying to conceive, my OH now doesn't smoke in the house or around me at all since I got my BFP and nor do any of my family.

    You're just trying to do what's best for you and your baby so don't worry at all, I'm sure they will understand xx
     
  15. mrswoody

    mrswoody Well-Known Member

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    Totally in your rights to tell people to not smoke around you and in your house.
    My folks smoke (divorced though) and they go outside when they visit out on a different top and anti bac their hands and brush teeth/use mints.

    When I visit their respective homes its a little different. My mum lives in a flat and will reduce smoking to a minimum and go into the kitchen, uses anti bac and brushes teeth etc
    I rarely stay over when I visit so it's the best I can do.

    When I visit my dad he will go outside but his house does smell a bit, I get my sister to open windows doors and spray air freshener before we arrive. Dad is made to wash hands anti bac brush teeth/use mints etc

    Some people would think that this isn't enough and I am harming my DD but this is the best I can get unless they completely quit which won't happen. I wouldn't restrict access to my DD because they smoke as I feel it's unfair. This is just my view and everyone handles it in different ways.

    Whatever you decide stick to your guns :) xx
     
  16. glowing

    glowing Well-Known Member

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    Advise is that they shouldn't come near your baby 30 minutes after smoking even if they have been outside as it lingers on clothes etc. Risk of SIDS. It is in the red book so you are well within your rights to tell them not to.
     
  17. katie_lou

    katie_lou Well-Known Member

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    Yes - a few members of my family smoke and tbh I didn't even need to tell them . They always wash there hands after smoking and always have mints handy as well. My cousin who's a heavy smoker also never smokes round my daughter and always goes out side . It's not a lot to ask and they should be understanding .

    Xxx


    2
     
  18. Vicm

    Vicm Well-Known Member

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    I am a bit worried about this too. I used to smoke quite heavily myself (gave up 2 years ago) and would never smoke at all when I visited friends with children. Anyway OH said his dad is willing to look after baby 2 afternoons a week once I go back to work. He smokes really really heavily though. OH went to visit his house (he wont take me as its that smokey). He came home and absolutly stank of stale smoke. After he put his top it the wash the whole washing smelt....that was just from sitting is his dads house! I dont want baby to go to his dads house, which we agreeed he wont, however I dont want him nipping out for countless fags while minding baby either. I will definatly say something. If he doesnt agree to not smoke, which he probably wont as I couldnt see myself not smoking for a whole afternoon when I was a smoker, then I will have to make alternative arrangements.
     
  19. Zazu

    Zazu Well-Known Member

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    My OH made his mum aware of this and if she does smoke she is not allowed near the baby for 45mins. Luckily she is fine with it and doesn't smoke in the house anyway.

    You are well within your rights, it is your babies health that is the most important x
     
  20. Doodles

    Doodles Well-Known Member

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    You are well within your rights hun, our house used to be a free for all when it came to smoking until Doodles was born, then everyone was thrown outside regardless of weather (even hubby!). They were also warned that if they wanted to go near him after smoking they'd have to wear a jacket while they were smoking that could be removed, wash their hands + be checked by me (he was prem + the nurses had warned me how dangerous even smoke on clothes could be to him). Their still not allowed to smoke when directly around him x
     

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