Family Dilemma.........help!

Discussion in 'Baby & Toddler' started by lulu, Jan 11, 2006.

  1. lulu

    lulu Well-Known Member

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    Hi,

    My mother and my older sister are planning to come up to see Jack, they are asking about next weekend.

    For normal families that would be great, but not mine.

    For those of you that read my other thread in the 3rd trimester you will have an idea about what I mean!!! :wink:

    Basically, my mum does my head in, she is very selfish, we aren't very close and when she stayed with us last time, when I was due, I got very stressed out.
    My sister, I have not seen for a while as there was a massive family fall out (younger sister slept with my, then, partner but it was some how my fault.) And when I fell pregnant both of them never congratulated me and were very opinionated about it.

    They want to stay with us but I know that both of them together will be a nightmare.

    Originally It was supposed to be my mum and her friend staying, but in a B&B, and my sister was coming up seperately which was ideal.
    Now they are planning to come up together which means staying here.

    It kind of annoys me that they just assumed it would be ok and planned it between them anyway.

    What do I do? Do I say it would be too much and possibly cause an argument or do I just let them come up anyway?

    I haven't even mentioned this to my partner yet as my mum has only just phoned. I know he wont be too happy as my mum annoys the hell out of him too!

    Please help!!! :cry:
     
  2. Tineke

    Tineke Well-Known Member

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    This is a tricky situation!

    I would allow them to come visit... YOu are aware of what they are like and you know what to expect of them. So... if anything negative happens, weather it be being rude to you or your partner or speak out of line, you show them the door and that is it. At least you can say that you tried and hoped for the best. Possiblly make them aware of your concerns, yet on a nice friendly note. Your partner may want to sit them down on arrival to your home and have a 'word' with them, but not directed at them, just a general conversation about how you are pregnant and how relaxed your life has been recently, and this is they way you both want to keep it.

    I wish you all the best. I tell you though... If my sister had done that to me, I would be livid. How long ago did she do that to you? And have you been in touch with her since?

    Tineke oxoxox
     
  3. Guest

    Don't know if you;e as brave as me at the mo but I'm a stubborn moo since Damien was born as regards visitors. (We haven't had alot as most people have coughs/colds etc).
    I would perosnally tell them to sod off, you're not up to it and you don't want people staying right now as you don't feel up to it. It's your home, and you have to be happy. So does little one.

    Sorry maybe not much help.... :roll:
     
  4. emilia

    emilia Well-Known Member

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    Sorry, but life is too short for crap like that! Family or not. You should think about yourself, OH and baby first. If it's not a good time - let them know. On the other hand, you can tell them that it would be good to see them, but not convenient for them to stay over. You can tell them that you've found out the prices of some B&B's for them to stay at. If they want to argue over that - the chances were that they were going to cause arguing whilst staying with you anyway.
    Discuss it with your partner. I'll hopefully make you feel better and help you with a decision.
    Good luck
    Big Hugs
    Emilia xx
     
  5. Imi-Maddie's-Mum

    Imi-Maddie's-Mum Well-Known Member

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    Hi there ....

    Hope im finding you and the family well ?? !!! ...

    Personally i'd do the "sod off im not up to it" and direct them to the nearest BnB...(or tell them not to come at all)

    My mother is having NOTHING to do with my baby so personally i think your mother and sister are lucky!!!

    Tell them it is not a convinient time for you, but if they insist on coming up tell them it's a BnB or the motorway back home!!! lay the ground rules out before they even start!!

    Talk to your OH, at the end of the day it's your family home and who you have to visit is up to you and your partner...
    You have to do whats best for the three of you... remember your not a child anymore and past the age where your mother tells you what to do ... it's pay back time !!!!!!!

    Good luck honey, hope it works out!!!

    Love Imi
    xxx
     

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