Falling apart

[mrs nel]

Hi hun
Hope u feel better today and that the letter did the trick. Your hubby needs to see things from your point lf view too,
Lynne,
Xx

 

[coz78]

I didn't give him the letter in the end. He came in from work with 3 bunches of roses and bag of comfort food mumbled sorry and disappeared upstairs to play a computer game. It didn't feel like the right time, my hubby thinks once sorry has been said that's the end of the problem and gets really annoyed if I carry on with it. I wasn't feeling up to an argument last night and I went to bed looking like a panda because I'd cried so much. I'm feeling a bit better this morning, have to see what happens when/if he comes home for lunch.

 

[Dee28]

At least he has acknowledged he upset you, small steps. You need to work on making some buddies, do you work? Xx

 

[waaah101]

At least he's acknowledged he's being an ass. You do need to let him know how you feel though My hubby just storms off when there's an argument, never hears my side - and also thinks 'sorry' is the end of it. Sorry is all well and good, but things have to change from there on in or else it's just a word. I'm definitely going to try the letter thing next time, maybe you should too. x

 

[coz78]

I don't work, it's not that I don't want to it's just hard getting a job that works with our situation. My hubby's job means I can't rely on him to help with looking after my dd so any job outside of school hours at the moment isn't worth it after you take into account the cost of child care. I do keep checking local schools and council pages for jobs in a school but the ones that are coming up you need experience and qualifications for but I still check incase a school kitchen job comes up. There's also the fact that with only one car which my hubby uses it's hard to go any real distance so it minimises the areas I can look for work. This is why I wanted to do some distance learning course, to get myself some qualifications and open my options up a bit more.

He knows we need to talk so now I'm getting the excuses as why tonight wont be good, he'll be working late, he's really tired as it is and can it wait until he's got the energy for it. I might slip the letter in his work uniform pocket so he can read it away from the house and wont feel pressure to respond straight away.

Thanks for all the support x

 

[Lou1103]

I hope the letter works hun. As someone said above, at least he acknowledged it with the flowers and apologised.

I have done distance learning courses just be careful which you do as some places dont value them at all. Plus they cost quite a bit!

Good luck xxx

 

[Dee28]

sounds like you're in rut which is not a good place to be when you feel down. Can you do distance learning to qualify to be a teaching assistant or equivalent, or a preschool teacher (if you can face working with little children). Or even if you make a deal with you hubby to save for a second car to give you some independence? xx

 

[Lou1103]

If u do decide to do a teaching assistant course try to do some volunteering as otherwise schools arent interested :/

Or maybe buy a bike for your hubby to ride To work a couple of days a week so u can have the car to do your own thing xxx

 

[coz78]

I am but only because I can't seem to move any further forward with any part of my life. I sound like a complete whinger! I've been following my hubby around, keeping house and raising kids and I've loved it, it gave me a purpose but the kids have got older and don't need me but the youngest isn't quite old enough to be left alone and my hubby is off doing his thing and I feel I'm being left behind with no real purpose anymore. I feel lost. So when he finally agreed to let me do the opks and that, I had a goal and something worth doing with my life. It didn't matter I was alone a lot and none of the other things were a problem having a baby is worth all that but now I feel my hubby's not as committed to it as I thought he was and my goal has just disappeared. I'm kind of frustrated with myself for getting in this situation. I'm normally happy with what I have, just having a bad few days I think.

 

[coz78]

He has a bike and he only has a 5 min walk to work anyway. He just still needs the car, I don't know why x

 

[Daley]

Have you thought about becoming a registered childminder? You could work from home and still look after dd. hope you sort things soon Hun xxxx

 

[iWitch]

doesn't sound like a very good situation to be in. Whereabouts have your moved to chuck? Just wondering if any of us were close by or anything.

 

[Zoe S]

Are you in Andover Hun like your profiles as if you are I'm only in bulford xx

 

[coz78]

Yeah I'm a near Andover. I know Bulford, it's not to far away from me x

 

[Zoe S]

Ahh well if you wanted to get out let me know Hun, could meet for coffee as I'm stuck in house a lot to xx

 

[coz78]

Just pm'd you x

 

[coz78]

I wanted to thankyou all for helping me out and to let you know things are getting better. Went out for lunch with zoe s on Friday and I'm going to start exercise classes soon. My husband has been super romantic this weekend for our wedding anniversary and everything feels great now. So thankyou all again x

 

[Dee28]

I'm so pleased to hear that coz xx

 

[naomip]

I'm so pleased you're feeling happier x x x

 

[minniemaker]

So happy to hear that xx