F**king MiL

Discussion in 'Pregnancy Chat' started by Mrsbee, Mar 21, 2016.

  1. Mrsbee

    Mrsbee Well-Known Member

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    Too cut a very long story short my mil is not one bit interested in the baby I'm carrying. When we told her the other night the baby is a little girl she said "why do I care?". This is because we fell out a few months ago due to something very silly had she just apologised a few minutes later it would have been water under the bridge. To put this disgusting woman into perspective this will be her 4th grandchild she isn't bothered about and her 2nd child she doesn't speak too. My husband has cut her out and he's very good at not letting anything about her bother him. But it bothers me that my daughter will one day know the truth... Her grandma doesn't give a flying f**k about her.

    It makes it a billion times worse because we live together (that's a very long boring story also but it's the way it has to be for now).

    I'm so excited for Bonnie to be here and we can be a family but it's going to be so awkward :/. My fil agrees with my husband that she shouldn't have anything to do with her, but that's going to be hard all living together :(
     
  2. russellmuscle

    russellmuscle Well-Known Member

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    Oh dear. I feel your pain.

    I used to live with MIL but thankfully I wasnt pregnant and we were on much better terms.

    However, due to that fab relationship we had I some how thought my MIL would totally bother with Jackson. She wasnt. I should have known though. When SIL presented her with her scan photo she just looked at it and continued cleaning...

    God only knows the reaction Ill get this time, but Im really not fussed. As long as the people who love my child care then thats all that matters. No one bothers with us during the weeks so we dont feel pressure to put in a huge effort with them.

    Its mad the difference in relationships though, my mum phones daily to check on Jackson. MIL got the opportunity of babysitting a couple of weeks ago and my mum had offered too so I still gave her the shot because my mum sees him more and she replied "ohwell if your mum will just have him I can get my shopping done" ... So now, I really dont bother!

    I think if I were you I would just get on about my own, dont try and involve her in things "she doesnt care about" youll be less resentful.

    xxxx
     
  3. Sparklegirl

    Sparklegirl Well-Known Member

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    So very sad to hear this :( it is always hoped that the joy of a new baby would lighten anyones heart but clearly that is not always the case.

    My own grandmother (paternal one) was like this with me, she had no interest in me because I was born of my mother. She was a particularly nasty piece or work and actually laughed at my mum when she bent down to pick something up and she said would laugh herself silly if my mum had a miscarriage and lost me. This came after it taking them 19 years to get pregnant in the first place. It is awful how some people can be, she turned on me and accused me of stealing and all sorts because she wanted to hurt me simply because she knew it would hurt my mum. Some people are monsterous

    I hope that her attitude changes when the little girl arrives, if she cant be happy about a wonderful little bundle of joy then she really needs to assess her priorities. I try not to badmouth other peoples relations so as not to offend but your MIL behaviour sounds very childish and she needs to start looking at things realistically. Whatever the argument was I am certain its not enough for her to lose her granddaughter over

    It is so hard to ignore someone and not let them get to you but your little girl needs you far more than that woman does so concentrate on the little baby who already loves you. For every time the woman upsets you, zone out of her mouth moving and replace it with the baby voice saying how mean the MIL is and how much she cant wait to meet you
     
  4. Blueclass

    Blueclass Well-Known Member

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    Sounds awful hun and she sounds horrible. It is going to be really difficult living with her as it would not be fair for ur little one growing up knowing nanny doesn't care and she will pick up on this as kids are so cleaver. Also you can't keep her in your room as she grows up as she will need more room to play ect. S there really no other way you could live else where?
    I know it would be hard but maybe try just being nice and explaining that you really want her to be a part of your pregnancy and maybe ask her to hospital appointments? Might make her more interested.
    If that don't work then don't bother and just try to get on around your daughter when she arrives x
     
  5. Mrsbee

    Mrsbee Well-Known Member

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    Thank you ladies ��

    Russellmummy it's sad isn't it that they're just not bothered, my mum already texts and rings me saying how excited she is and that she loves little one already.

    Sparkle girl that's actually hideous of your grandma to have done to you :(!! Even my husband agrees shes and awful
    Person so I wouldn't worry too much about saying anything about her haha xxx

    Blue class she is pretty awful :/ I'm hoping in a few years we might be able to take a bonus from my husbands own business and save up enough for a cheap little terrace. It's a fairly big house we kinda have one end they have the other we only share a kitchen, we've converted the conservatory into our living room and it's very baby friendly in there. She doesn't really ever go outside so little one would have the big garden to play in. I'm just worried she will know that nanny is horrible. I feel sorry for my father in law as he's really wonderful!

    All a bit crap really! I know I've just got to stop being shocked she's a horrible person, but I always like to see the good in people xxx
     
  6. G4YLE

    G4YLE Well-Known Member

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    I'm sorry you are in this situation. To be honest, I would not be wasting any of my time with a MIL like that. Your time and energy is far better focused on your husband and your little girl. I certainly couldn't live with someone, let alone bring my child into the situation, where they have made it clear that they have no interest in her. I'd rather present as homeless and remove myself from the situation immediately. Is it their house or yours? If it's your house then I'd simply be asking her to leave? If it's their house then I'd be removing myself and either staying with friends or family or presenting as homeless.
     
  7. Nikkijayne

    Nikkijayne Active Member

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    I understand exactly where you're coming from with your mil. Mine is a complete total nightmare (we were quite close until we told her we were pregnant). Since then she has done everything to make me feel unwelcome in her home. Snide remarks, complaining to my other half about me, even going to the extent of "joking" by saying I was getting too cocky and maybe she should have the baby from birth and move away with him.
    Of course I feel protective and ready to battle her for this but apparently I take things too literally. This all came to a head on Monday when she called my oh and said I had made horrible nasty remarks to her (which is not true, my oh was there when "said remarks" we're made.
    I stormed up there and confronted her, she said "I can pull the wool over other people's eyes but not hers, I control her son, I have pushed her out of the baby's life already, my family treat me like crap". This went on and on, I have stood my ground with her but do you know what? I feel like a better person by leaving her sit in her own delusions. She's alienating herself, I am not there to role the red carpet out for her. Just concentrating on myself,my partner and our son because they are the only people in this world I love to make happy.
    So keep your chin up babes :) you please yourselves and no one else, much love xxx
     

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