dummy debate

Discussion in 'Third Trimester' started by blueberrybaby8, Apr 29, 2016.

  1. blueberrybaby8

    blueberrybaby8 Well-Known Member

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    Just wondered what people thought about giving baby a dummy.
    I had baby Jacob on Monday and have been breastfeeding which is going really well, but I still think in between him feeding and especially at night when he's hard to settle he could use one. I know he's got a full tummy but just needs something to soothe himself.
    My partner is really against them so we're struggling through without..I just hate seeing baby get so upset.
    What do people think, will you use one or are you using one? Does it help you?
    Thank you! Xx
     
  2. walkergirl

    walkergirl Well-Known Member

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    My personal advice is if you think it will help settle your baby then give them a dummy. I was dead against giving my little boy a dummy as I was breastfeeding, but he was so unsettled, cried all the time and was wanting comfort but I kept resisting the dummy, after 6months I finally gave in and wish id done it earlier. I'm due again in 8 weeks and if this time baby is unsettled and needs a bit extra comfort im using the dummy earlier xx
     
  3. babyslog

    babyslog Well-Known Member

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    I always said when i was pregnant id never have one.


    Day 4 it was straight in his mouth lol!

    Personally couldnt of lived without one tbh!
    My LB is 2.5yrs and still has one for bed. But he knows hes not to have it in the day. I don't mind that he has it for night time as along eith his blanket it settles him.

    As a baby again it always helped :)

    Some babies dont even like them mind. Spesh with BFing you may find they dnt like the feel of the teat. It really is a personal choice tho hun xxx
     
  4. Jojo84

    Jojo84 Well-Known Member

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    We Agave our son a dummy at a few weeks old to help him settle and it worked really well... Also teseardh has shown that dummies can help reduce the risk of sids so I was all for it.
     
  5. Emmam1982

    Emmam1982 Well-Known Member

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    Advice from hv is not to give a dummy until at least 4 weeks-especially with breastfeeding but all of mine have had one by 2 weeks with no problem. I agree that sometimes they just want comfort and use the breast as comfort rather than to feed which is knackering.
    Have you tried swaddling? It's not recommended now apparently but always worked wonders for mine xx
     
  6. El1en

    El1en Well-Known Member

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    I really didn't want to give my Lo a dummy but she had colic and after my mum and oh pestered me I gave in at 4 weeks. It made a massive difference and really comforted her however I still wish i hadn't. At a year old she still likes it at night time and I have to get up and put it in for her 3 times a night or more
     
  7. Tigger87

    Tigger87 Well-Known Member

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    I was dead set against dummies last pregnancy. A few weeks in, I gave up on that mindset and tried. And failed. The little monster refused! Spat them across the room!! I was gutted.

    Another way to look at it is that he's using YOU as a dummy, because he gets comfort from you. He's helping your milk supply, because it's still early days, and you're forming an even stronger bond with him all the time he's doing this.

    It's bloody hard, and there's definitely no "failing", but you're doing an amazing job and if you CAN keep struggling through, it'll be worth it. The genius about breastfed babies is boob will always work to shut them up if they're crying!! Xxx
     
  8. kanga86

    kanga86 Well-Known Member

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    Mine both had dummies within a few days, and it has never interfered with breastfeeding. It's exhausting when all the want to do is suck for comfort and not feed. I have ones ready for this baby too and plan on using them straight away xx
     
  9. russellmuscle

    russellmuscle Well-Known Member

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    I was a dummy snob too.

    Jackson got bad silent reflux so he took one. Although I had to be persistent with it. Some days he'd take it others he wouldn't.

    After 5m I took it away and we have had no issues.

    Ill get some dummies for this one too.

    Tbf Id just give it if you see fit. I doubt it's your partner round the clock feeding and comforting. So IMO it's not up to him haha :p

    Good luck and congrats.

    xxxx
     
  10. bobkat

    bobkat Well-Known Member

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    I didn't want to use a dummy with Freddie when he was born but the midwives in special care gave him one on day 2, before id been able to try bfeeding him. I was a bit cross about it but managed to establish bf just fine anyway, we very strictly only used it for naps and bedtime. Fortunately when we wanted to get rid of it Freddie very kindly dropped it down the back of the changing cabinet and we just said oh dear we haven't got any more, and he was ok with that.

    Went to a bf ante natal class yesterday and the advisor did say the 4wk thing but then said she understood in the real world that that is an ideal but to try and hold off for at least 10 days so at least so the early bf connection with baby can be made.

    I do have dummies ready for this baby should they be needed based on the experience with Freddie, I'd rather they used them than a thumb for comfort if they need it because at least I can take a dummy away!
     
    #10 bobkat, Apr 30, 2016
    Last edited: Apr 30, 2016
  11. BabyMaker

    BabyMaker Well-Known Member

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    Congratulations:)
    I wasnt going to use the dummy last time but our DS had silent reflux and a MW suggested we try it when he was 2 weeks old. Best.Thing.Ever!! He still had to go on medication for the reflux but the dummy certainly helped to a certain extent to keep the acid from rising. When he got a bit older he only had it at night and at naptimes and when it was time to take it away the process went brilliantly. No tantrums, nothing. I have bought dummies this time too but again I wont use them unless she needs them or if she uses me for comfort. x
     
  12. Phoenix85

    Phoenix85 Well-Known Member

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    I really don't like dummies for newborns.

    It does interfere with feeding no matter what.

    If you can get through the first few weeks then re evaluate and decide what you want to do, but you really are best getting breastfeeding established first.

    Suckling lots at the breast is normal and healthy and what they are designed to do to get your milk to come in and then to tell your breasts to make more milk.
    Giving a dummy reduces the amount of stimulation the breasts get which can lead to them producing less. It can also cause the baby to take less milk and therefore have lower weight gain, fewer wet & dirty nappies etc. Last of all depending on the type of dummy teat it can cause issues suckling at the breast.

    I'm aware not everyone has problems and some people manage to successfully breastfeed as well as give dummies, but it's a risk and dummy use in the first few weeks has been shown to increase the likelihood of problems breastfeeding, 'low supply' and early(er) cessation of breastfeeding.
    For babies who are bottlefed I think dummies are a godsend as babies are designed to suckle a lot. But when BFing you're best avoiding the dummy for as long as you can to make sure breastfeeding is going well, you have a good supply, and they are gaining weight well.
     
  13. Jojo84

    Jojo84 Well-Known Member

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    Our son gave his up without fuss too. In fact we were going to take it away from him but he climbed out his cot and had to go to a bed and we didn't want to change too much all at once, but he actually decided he didn't want it and gave it up himself! We have one on his set of drawers now and he only ever put it in when he's upset at night for 10 mins so soothe him then he goes back off. It's amazing what kids do lol
     
  14. SiameseCatLady

    SiameseCatLady Well-Known Member

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    I plan on avoiding dummies and won't buy any, unless it becomes my only, last option.
    Ideally, I'd like to use bf as a comfort.
    I know, best laid plans and all that, but that's just my feeling.
    Refreshing to hear that it's been easy to wean your little guys off dummies fairly easily as I have heard horror stories and people then having to use things like The Dummy Fairy/Tree etc. which I, personally, would not like to have to get to the point of having to go through.
    I work with children and what worries me is how many have speech that is affected by having used dummies 24/7 and become reliant on them and also their jaws/teeth. I know this is something to do with parenting as well, but it's not something I would like to do if at all possible.
    Just wondering if you have had your baby looked at for reflux or something like that just in case there is another way to solve it?
    Yes, I am a first time Mum and these are just my very strong feelings about it. If it works for you and your lovely, go for it. Would just get some advice on it and my feeling is that you wouldn't want to get to the point that he is totally reliant on it for comfort, but I have only had nephews and nieces and not had one of my own yet, so I may change my tune.
    It will take a lot for me to do so though!
    Good luck and I hope you and Jacob are well and happy and healthy with or without a dummy! Lovely name btw. Does he have a middle name? Xxx
     
  15. lisa1985

    lisa1985 Well-Known Member

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    I wasn't keen on giving a dummy, but after 3 weeks of colic and constant crying we gave in and was best decision ever! She only has it when napping or crying. She didn't become confused betweendummy and breast. I had a dummy un til I was 3/4 and it didn't affect my teeth and i never needed braces. Thumb sucking is worse in my opinion as you can't take a thumb away and causes more damage to teeth? I am a dentalnurse and hAve seen what it can cause. X
     
  16. blueberrybaby8

    blueberrybaby8 Well-Known Member

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    Thank you for all your feedback, lots of different views on dummies. I was just curious what people thought that's all.
    Jacob was difficult to settle into his Moses basket at night and would cry when we put him down, even though he'd just finished a long feed from breast. In the day time feeding settles him and he'll sleep wherever.
    We tried the dummy, with the intention of just using it for night time..and it's worked. He even spits it out when he's much calmer and spends the rest of the night without it.
    I can see both sides of the dummy debate, but I guess if it works for you then there's no harm. sometimes babies just want a little soothing and it's nice, in whatever way that we can give them that Xx
     
  17. SiameseCatLady

    SiameseCatLady Well-Known Member

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    So glad it's worked for you! X
     
  18. babyslog

    babyslog Well-Known Member

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    Aw so glad its helped :) x
     
  19. SiameseCatLady

    SiameseCatLady Well-Known Member

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    I agree, thumbs can do the same thing. I have just seen so many children, usually ages 2 or 3 whose speech is affected and whose jaws and teeth are affected by use of a dummy. What I should have said is that it's overuse, so having it ALL the time. I would just be scared I wouldn't be able to stop them becoming obsessed with it! That's just me though - despite being a teacher, I still worry about my parenting abilities, not that they necessarily go hand in hand anyway!
    If they suck their thumbs, not much we can do. I think I will be open to having a dummy, but only if I get to the point that the op got to where I am worrying about baby or it is not settling; but for me, I will try anything else first.
     
  20. inky

    inky Well-Known Member

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    I've done it both ways - my son had a dummy but my daughter didn't. My son was breastfed with no issues until he was 2.5yrs - my daughter was the same, so in our case a dummy certainly didn't interfere with feeding. My son however (now 5) had an overbite but once the dummy was removed completely the overbite disappeared and he now has lovely straight teeth with no alignment issues. I do believe the dummy caused the overbite, which in turn I believe contributed to the significant speech delays he had. He's bright, has an excellent vocabulary, and was very good at non verbal communication but his speech sounds and word formation was very poor. He is vastly improved after 2 years of intensive speech therapy but still struggles. Speaking is hard for him and requires a lot of concentration but he can at least now make the right sounds and string them together correctly to form words and sentences.

    Obviously I'm not an expert, this is in no way empirical and is based purely on my own experience of being a mother of two. My daughter has had no speech problems, no teeth problems and the only difference is that she had no dummy.
     

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