Do you 'fit in' with other parents?

glitzyglamgirl

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I am struggling tbh since having Jess with fititng in with other parents and making 'mummy friends'.

I think the issue is that I dont fit in with very mainstream people as they find me a little odd/hippy/crunchy...but dont fit in with the odd/hippy/crunchy crowd as they find me too mainstream. I'm kind of stuck in the middle lol.

I try to be a natural and attached parent, but dont BF. I co-sleep by choice, but am trying to get Jess into a routine and in her own bed by the time she's 1. I believe in letting children be themselves, but also in boundaries and good discipline. I practice BLW, but she has baby porridge for breakfast. I babywear when its convenient for me, but use a buggy most of the time.

Anyone else in a smiliar stuck in the middle place? How have you made mummy friends and fit in at toddler groups etc? I have tried 3 local groups a number of times each and just felt like billy-no-mates stuck in the corner, I tried a Steiner group and it was way too crunchy for me. I cant win lol.
 
im finding it a big adjustment since having daisy my previous friends have alot older kids my best friend smokes so i wont take baby roundthere and it led to a odd atmosphere at baby club im the oldest by about 15yrs which does segregate me slightly because the youngers talk about things i left behind yrs ago but daisy enjoys so i go i think it just about re establishing myself now im a new mum again
 
hmm i havent really thought of it like that, youve kinda opened a different light lol. i guess there are different types of parenting in a way, i must say im your average breastfeeding on demand, moses basket pushchair kinda girl, but am always open to suggestion of other stuff or whatever, i dont have any really strong feelings about anything, i breastfeed because ive got so much milk! and it seems silly to waste it. i am intreigued to see whether i get on with a certain type of "parent" when i go out and start taking sofia to baby things. x
 
Im a bit like that. I formula feed, baby wear 9 time out of 10 but deffinatly still have the pushchair sometimes, use cloth nappies (for some reason some people find this baffling and think Im crazy unless cloth wearing themselves) and I do 50/50 of blw and tw and Im also going to practice extended rear facing for a while as well. Ive found its nice on the internet to talk to people who understand a little but in person, I havent met anybody doing the same sort of things so its a bit difficult really when talking about what your doing and when ect but it hasnt been too bad. Some people find it really interesting (although this is mostly the older generation but at the same time they think blw is crazy lol).

Its a bit hit and miss I suppose then. :)
 
phil and i dont fit in as we're students. we dont do student things and all our friends are doing them and yet with other parents we dont fit in as we're students....x
 
Hi THere
I think I fit in well with the parents I know, but they are quite similar minding to me.
I baby wear when it suits me too, just walks in the forest really, but he used to sleep in the moby loads when he was small.
Hoping to do BLW but may spoon feed a bit. Breasfeed but now give one formula fed and may be switching soon. Don't cosleep and baby been in own room cince 2 months. Don;t use cloth nappies but love the idea...

I'm not quite in the middle really but I can see it must be tricky not falling exactly in either group. think quite a few parents are in this 'middle place'?
 
I'm in a similar situation: Most of the parents at school find it weird that I put a teething necklace on my boy and laugh openly at me. I've had "ewww breastfeeding, that's gross, get that poor baby on a bottle" and "what's he doing in your bed? you're making a rod for your own back" etc.

I don't have any mummy friends. TBH I don't have any friends I meet up with or socialise with :cry: except for one, my friend who I have known since I was 5 years old.
 
I'm in a similar situation: Most of the parents at school find it weird that I put a teething necklace on my boy and laugh openly at me. I've had "ewww breastfeeding, that's gross, get that poor baby on a bottle" and "what's he doing in your bed? you're making a rod for your own back" etc.

I don't have any mummy friends. TBH I don't have any friends I meet up with or socialise with :cry: except for one, my friend who I have known since I was 5 years old.

:hugs:

Yes i've been told that by wearing my baby and co-sleeping I am spoiling her. You cant spoil a baby with love and closeness, I think they are just jealous! :roll:
 
I know: a baby is a baby and obviously needs closeness and love. As far as I'm concerned, he'll have everything he ever needs. Keeps him and me happy :)
 
Yes i've been told that by wearing my baby and co-sleeping I am spoiling her. You cant spoil a baby with love and closeness, I think they are just jealous! :roll:

I've never understood how people think you're spoiling a baby by responding to their needs.....crazy!! People have said the same to me, but they way I see it I have a happy baby and that's all that matters :dance:
 
I think it's so sad that we all have to be pigeon holed into these different categories.

One thing i've learnt very very quickly is you know your child and yourself the best and you've just got to do what's right for you. I don't judge anyone else for what they do with their own child and I don't dish out advice unless asked. As long as child and parents are happy what's the problem? People should just leave others alone!

I exclusively breastfeed. I want to do it for as long as possible. Definitely until he's a year old at the very least. Most people think this is sick and gross. That pisses me off. They'll happily give their kids cow's milk (which I don't judge them for - it's what they want to do!) but I'm not ok giving my baby human being human milk? Fuck off will you?!?!?

I'm right in the middle. I'd love to cosleep and wear my baby but he hates it! He likes to stretch out. So he's been in his own room since 6 weeks old and the moby wrap is gathering dust. I paid over a grand for a pram which looks like it could transport you back in time its that futuristic. I love my gadgets and wanted something modern and funky. He wears disposables but I'd love to get cloth, I'm just worried because he soils his nappies and leaks 9 times out of 10 so don't know if this will be practical for us just yet. I want to do baby led weaning, I've started doing baby sign language with him and as a vegetarian I'd love to enforce that for him too but difficult with a meat eating hubby.

So yeah, I'm an in the middle person too. Ive found I can get on with other mums quite well if I shut up, listen, interact and don't give too much away so they have nothing to judge me on. It's working out ok, I'm just glad I have this forum to interact with ladies like me, and also the ones who aren't too.

At the end of the day we're all just mummies who love their babies and want the best for them. You girls should do what you bloody well want and what feels right to you.
 
I'm in a similar situation: Most of the parents at school find it weird that I put a teething necklace on my boy and laugh openly at me. I've had "ewww breastfeeding, that's gross, get that poor baby on a bottle" and "what's he doing in your bed? you're making a rod for your own back" etc.

I don't have any mummy friends. TBH I don't have any friends I meet up with or socialise with :cry: except for one, my friend who I have known since I was 5 years old.

get your bum round here for a brew next week you! and a group of us are going to softplay next week and you'd be more than welcome to come!

til i moved here i never had any mummy friends, but the people i spoke to thought i was weird for BF and cloth nappying! i even had my health visitor ask about her nappy, cos she didnt know what it was :roll: i have to say tho, i've found everyone at baby groups to be really accepting, possibly cos we dont talk about stuff like that! i did have someone tell me once she wasnt trying for a vbac cos "its not normal for a baby to come out of there!" hmmmmm... i think i just tend to keep my mouth shut half the time!
 
I don't fitin at all I've just moved into my flat a few months ago and started to take Amy to the local play group but I don't reel like I fit in as they all know each other and have a natter and I just sit there watching Amy play lol she loves it alot and wouldn't stop taking her to it but I do find it yard to mix with people I prefer bottle feeding to breast feeding but don't mind what others chose I'll be bottle feeding this one as I think it's not fair if I didn't as Amy didn't get to breast feed if you know what I mean. I like a moses basket for the first couple of months then cot then into room shell be sharing amys. I leave Amy to play while I'm pottering about,she hasxa routine so I like to keep to it, shell keeP herself entertain she asks to go yo bed or crys and then she LEDs me to her room which tells me she wants to go to bed she's in bed for 5 pm and sleep till 8 or 9 next morning I sometime take her out in her pushchair but she's at the stage where she's walking on a harness reins lol when I'm going to teach her to use toilet I'm getting her the seat to go on toilet as Id rather do it this mwah than teaching her to use a potty then teach her to use toilet lol
 
I've just scooted to the bottom so sorry if I repeat anything

I HATE labels, I honestly do.. I hate how people say oh well I'm this and I do it this way and this way is best.. God it makes me mad.. Just like every woman has their own personality, every woman has her own way of parenting.. I love all of the BLW, baby wearing, proper co-sleeping, exclusive breast feeding etc, but it didn't work for me. My son was breastfed and I expressed for a week, since then he has been on formula, I don't "co-sleep" in the category that it's put in, but if Odhrán wants in for a cuddle, I'll bring him in, or if I want him in for a cuddle I'll also bring him in :oooo: Sometimes I feel like parenting is an ongoing contest, I don't rise to it, I raise my son my way and he has the same love, affection, support, stability and care than any other child who is in a certain "category".. I hate how either groups are making you feel that way, there shouldn't be boundaries.. We should be coming together as women to talk about what we do and how we do it, to help eachother, not compare and contrast.. Sorry kind of went off on one there :lol: but I know what you mean.. I tend to find myself being friends with my friends that are mummys, rather than making friends in baby groups etc.. I hate it x
 
I'm in a similar situation: Most of the parents at school find it weird that I put a teething necklace on my boy and laugh openly at me. I've had "ewww breastfeeding, that's gross, get that poor baby on a bottle" and "what's he doing in your bed? you're making a rod for your own back" etc.

I don't have any mummy friends. TBH I don't have any friends I meet up with or socialise with :cry: except for one, my friend who I have known since I was 5 years old.

get your bum round here for a brew next week you! and a group of us are going to softplay next week and you'd be more than welcome to come!

til i moved here i never had any mummy friends, but the people i spoke to thought i was weird for BF and cloth nappying! i even had my health visitor ask about her nappy, cos she didnt know what it was :roll: i have to say tho, i've found everyone at baby groups to be really accepting, possibly cos we dont talk about stuff like that! i did have someone tell me once she wasnt trying for a vbac cos "its not normal for a baby to come out of there!" hmmmmm... i think i just tend to keep my mouth shut half the time!

Yay I'm up for that..... When :)
 
Oh and I'm going on holiday with the kids and my mum in may and she's like :you'll have him on a bottle by then so you can drink won't you!"

Erm... No, don't think so!

I know well fall out over it too. She's a bit like that :-(
 
:lol: I remember saying to to MIL I'd switched katie to formula xos my milk had dried up and she went "oh good!" twat! That few weeks she was over, K was being sick constantly and it magicaly stopped when she went, I'm sure she was feeding her things she shouldn't have had!

And when's best for you? I'm free most the week!
 
:lol: I remember saying to to MIL I'd switched katie to formula xos my milk had dried up and she went "oh good!" twat! That few weeks she was over, K was being sick constantly and it magicaly stopped when she went, I'm sure she was feeding her things she shouldn't have had!

And when's best for you? I'm free most the week!
 

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