Did you have baby blues and for how long?

[Sarah W Baby Belly]

I am quite honest and open when I say that I had baby blues for between 4 and 5 weeks.

Motherhood still daunts me, but I am now used to it and don't feel at all depressed about my new life, but I did a few weeks ago.

The books tell you that baby blues will last up to two weeks, but I feel this is inaccurate. I feel that it all depends on your personality and what your life was like before. I do believe there is a world that fits in between baby blues and post natal depression.

I enjoyed my old job that I have now given up and I really struggled with the early tiredness and the chaotic nature of my new life.

I get out all the time now, but I did find it very hard to adjust during the first month.

Who else found the whole motherhood thing a big shock, to the point that it was a tad overwhelming some days, and how long did it last?

 

[Dreamer]

We are currently TTC, and i ws thinking about this the other day.

What i thought was, For 4 years its just been us in our home, and if we want to go out we just go, things like that, and then I was thinking of how much a shock i would find it, but then i thought, cant a baby only make this EVEN more better?

I know it might be hard to adjust and might be hard not having as much time together, but everyone else does it so i reckon it aint that bad after all.

You have your wee baby now, i hope it can bring you the enjoyment that you need, maybe its just the shock of someone depending on you 24/7

 

[Sarah W Baby Belly]

Yes, a baby depending on me is my biggest shock.

My biggest worry is if I get sick. Before I could just head under the duvet, close my eyes and wait for a cold to go away (probably dosing up on a huge glass of brandy to help things along). Now this will never be possible, especially with the breastfeeding.

The thought of getting a hideous flu scares the hell out of me so i am really trying to be as healthy as possible and taking the best quality post-natal vitamin supplement I can afford.

In the early weeks I was very tired, and the thought that I couldn't just go to bed when I wanted as I had to stay up and do feed after feed after feed, was just such a shock to the system.

Samuel has just turned eight weeks now and I am just about starting to get used to the change in my life. I have been invited out on a girls night out next wednesday and I am currently trying to work out how feasible it will be. I'll let you know if I achieve it

 

[emilia]

I hear what you're saying Sarah..... Being a mommy is emotionally, physically and mentally exhausting. I remember having PND after my first baby was born. Most of my feelings were magnified by my circumstances at the time. I felt useless at trying to understand what my baby wanted from me. BF was a disaster and after 2 weeks, I stopped - which in return made me feel worse.
I struggled through the months, too proud to talk to anyone about my feelings. I didn't miss what I had before, but I was missing the "perfect mummy "I had planned to be.
My DH was very understanding and we made positive changes. Scott was 5 months old when we moved to an area where I felt like a normal human-being. My life changed along with my new attitude... I started to understand my baby. I became so socialable, I couldn't keep up with myself!!!
My advice Sarah.... visit your collegues at your old job... they'll keep reminding you what a slog it can be!
Also, join a mother & baby group .... you'll find you're not the only one feeling overwhelmed.

Don't worry about things that haven't happened yet... that also just exhausts us. We waste good energy so easily... you needn't worry about that just now. Save your energy for yourself and your baby. Get family members to take S, even if it's just for a long walk so that you can get a couple of hours rest!

In the meantime... don't feel alone!! We're here to listen and support you!
Big hug!!
Emilia xx

 

[Dreamer]

Sarah W Baby Belly your girlie night out will do you the world of good, go out and let your hair down, have fun and let us know how good it feels coz i love a good night out

 

[Rosebay]

Hi Sarah,

I think you're so right about there being a whole range of feelings between baby blues and post- natal depression. I also think that there's a very fine line between pnd and severe sleep deprivation- the two are so often linked as far as I can tell. I felt at my worst in the first few weeks too- I think it was a good three weeks until I actually felt that I could enjoy him, it was such a shock to the system. Not least that I was so scared of hurting him somehow or him just stopping breathing etc that I just didn't sleep for much of that.

I've been going to baby massage classes and a mother and baby group and I think that some women actually get it later or on and off and that sleep deprivation is a major factor. A woman broke down in our baby massage class a few weeks ago and told us how she'd just been put on anti-depressants but that also she hadn't had more than 4 hours straight sleep at one time in the six months since her boy was born. She had little support from her OH and her baby had lots of health problems and was very demanding- no wonder she was at the end of her tether- she was an angel for getting that far without asking for help! (The HV suggested getting the woman's mother in law over to give her a break so she could sleep more often and was going to help her sort out her baby's sleeping patterns etc). Anyway, as I said I guess this situation doesn't really fit into the textbook case but really I think it can happen to anyone at anytime to a greater or lesser extent. At least these days people are more open about it and tend to get help earlier or know to look out for the signs.

Hope you feel better soon Sarah.
+++
p.s. good luck with the night out, we've been managing to go out together about once a fortnight and it really helps keep me sane!

 

[Kim]

I had very bad baby blues for about the first week or so, but it was about a month until i felt that I had bonded with Rubie and a few more weeks after that until I believed I could cope.

 

[Tiny Sue]

Hmmm

I had a few anxious moments and a scattered few very bad days when I was like a zombie but I think I've really eased into it. I've been in much better spirits since Naomi was born than I was before she was born. Perhaps I had antenatal depression, along with my PET...

I think it might be possible.

Mind you, for the first week in hospital, I was a wreck. Emotionally, physically, mentally, a nervous wreck. Things got better when we came home.

Sue

 

[Sarah W Baby Belly]

I feel so lucky, because Samuel has been an angel at night.

He has never woken up for more than one feed and he has slept right through about three times now.

We usually get between 6 and 9 hour sleep at night.

I can't begin to imagine what it must be like to get no sleep. A friend of mine didn't sleep a wink in the first eight weeks of her girls life!

My social life during the day is very good as a result of having loads of energy.

I am finding being a mum a hell of a lot easier now.

I think it is so important to be totally honest about how you are coping. I was, and it has paid off. I have so much support that I wouldn't have had if I had just kept quiet about feeling low.

Keep talking girls! It helps so much!

 

To be honest my baby blues have only just started lifting in the last week or 2, they were better but I went down again beginning of this month. It takes time to adjust to everything.

Glad your feeling better now, it's nice when you feel great about being a mummy and at peace with it.

 

[ToriElla]

I've had about 3 really bad days where i just felt really low and couldnt stop crying. Think they were due to milk coming in, getting my period, and starting the pill again.

Hormones eh!!

 

[Sarah&Braydon]

i can honestly say motherhood is the scariest thing i have ever done i always worry, and get myself down quite alot of the time

 

[Lucy]

I'd say I had baby blues for about a month as well - the first two wkswere severe and I really felt like I couldn't cope then the 2nd two wks it eased a bit but then 5th wk I felt remarkably better and more confident.

Olivia usually sleeps 3 or 4 hours at a time at night which is tiring but I did expect that whilst I was pregnant, I'm hoping she'll sleep a bit longer as she gets older.

I've joined lots of local groups and support places and really appreciate the support and encdouragement I've had from this forum, all of these help to keep spirits up but now I do generally feel very happy, and very content with my new life.

I'm going into the office on Monday - that'll be a wake-up call for me

Lucy x

 

[melhoney]

I didn't miss what I had before, but I was missing the "perfect mummy "I had planned to be.

I could not have put it in better words, thanks Emilia!
I have suffered from baby blues as well, on and off, and it's probably not over...it actually depends on my relation with Maheen! I so much want to be perfect and have that lovely relationship that I have missed from my mother that it brings my moral down if I can't settle Maheen straight away, or if she start crying in my arms, or even when she looks more at her dad than at me!!! I can even become jealous!

There has been a day whenh I cried all day long, when my husband came back from work, he decided to take a day off work the next day to try and help...I needed to sleep actually.
After a good night sleep, and his support, I was able to see life more positively!

Getting used to the new routine of things is difficult, I am just strated to think that I CAN go out of the house, even if it's just for a walk!
Last weekend, my DH's cousin came to visit, and we decided to go to a restaurant, 1 hour drive from home...before I would have said "no way", but we went, and we fed Maheen in the restaurant, and changed her there as well, and it was fine, and we had a lovely evening out!
Now, I see her more like a family member, rather than a new little person who is taking over our life! don't get me wrong, I love my daughter to bits, but was not sure at time how well she would fit in our life!
or rather how we would fit in hers!

It's just starting to fall into place, and AT THE MOMENT, I love being a mummy

It's just I would like to go swimming, to kind of help my body get back into shape, but...HOW????? how old must a baby be to go to swimming-pool, anybody?

mel xx
mel xx

 

[Lucy]

Hi Mel

I asked my HV if I had to wait for Olivia to get her jabs before taking her to the swimming pool but she said I could take her as soon as I wanted and didn't have to wait for anything.

HTH

Lucy

 

[kelly_chunn]

i was very lucky only had a feww days where i cryed. I just got no wiv things and just thouught how lucky i am to have lovely children

 

[melhoney]

Thanks for that Lucy...when are you planning to take her, then? How old should babies be to go in a swimming-pool, I mean, water is not that hot, and how about their nappies?

mel xx

 

[Dee1985]

im very lucky then i didnt cry atall!!!



just after about a week i was gettin moody due to lack of sleep

 

[Sarah W Baby Belly]

I think you guys have all been very honest and I really appreciate it.

For the first few weeks I really thought that everyone else was coping better than me.

I couldn't work out why we didn't bond with sam easily and straight away and there were some evenings where we were so exhausted that the thought of going through another night of feeding and crying and nappies was just too much and we just wanted someone to come and take him away for the night to give us a chance to rest.

My biggest problem was that I had a labour that lasted for nearly three days and I was massively exhausted before the night feeds and sleep deprivation even started, so I was on a loser before we even got home from hospital.

Fortunately i am quite an honest open person and I was able to admit that I wasn't coping right from the word go and I got hope from every direction that I could.

I now make sure that I get out every day and my calendar has something written on it every day.

Having a baby was the biggest shock to the system I have ever known and it has taken a lot of getting used to.

 

[lisa31]

Sarah

I am so glad you have started this thread. I was just about to go bed but felt I had to put a post in too.

Being totally honest it has only been this week that I have felt like the old 'me' again. Like you I had a long labour and falling down the stairs and snapping off the end of cocyx a month or so before she was born didnt help in the sleep department either - so like you I had hardly any sleep in the weeks before the birth which is just about killing me off - the last few days have been better as she has been going longer between feeds.

Then the breastfeeding didnt work and I got mastitus and had to bandage my boobs up, and I didnt want to give her formula I felt I had failed and spent days in tears and not speaking to anyone / not allowing people round the house. In the end D/H had to learn how to make bottles until I had come to terms that I had to give up. To me giving formula to her was like feeding her poison. I am totally fine with it now though thank goodness.

I have put on a few posts that I feel I must of been so naive about having a baby - I knew I would have to get up in the night and feed but I dont think I actually thought how difficult that, and everything else would be. I am constantly paranoid that she isnt breathing or that I'm not doing things right etc etc.

I thought everyone else was 100% fine and that there must of been something wrong with me - I even remember looking for a post that someone had put on here ages ago about the same subject (I remember reading it in the early hours of the morning!when I was pregnant)

Like you though I decieded to get as much help as possible. My Mum has been a godsend. She even stayed over last saturday night and slept on the settee so she could do the night feeds and me and D/H got a nights sleep - it was bliss.

I think the hardest thing is to say how you truly feel - because then if something happens to your baby you would feel so guilty. The facts are though that I - and you, and all the other mums on here, love our babies soooooooo so much and they are the world to us. However I now realise that having a baby is not all cute outfits and time off work!!!!

Like you I now go out most days - even if its only to the papershop! but for the first few weeks it felt like I was destined to stay in for the rest of my life and that I would never have a social life again. Now I can see thats not true and we are starting to cope a lot better.

Me and D/H have never argued so much either since the Heidi was born!! - but i know that is due to sleep deprivation and just the sheer upheaval of everything.

But, at the end of the day I wouldnt change a thing. I love my little angel so much- I just wish that I had been better prepared and not so naive - but I suppose even if people had of told me what it would of been like I wouldnt of fully appreciated it!

L x