DH not interested in bedroom antics anymore!!!

Discussion in 'Second Trimester' started by Julia, Nov 6, 2005.

  1. Julia

    Julia Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2005
    Messages:
    726
    Likes Received:
    0
    I am nearly 5 months pregnant and have not had any bedroom fun since we caught!! I must admit, our love life was very "timed" as he calls it because we were trying. But now, he does not want to know at all. I must admit, I was not interested in the first 3 months cos I was scared of doing damage (not that he tried anyway). He just says that it does not feel right! I am certainly not begging because I have too much pride. I also caught him looking at dirty web sites, which normally does not bother me BUT now it really upset me. Anyone else in this position? I have a good mind to wait until he wants it (which will probably be months after birth) and then turn him down - There is nothing like cutting off your nose to spite your face is there!!!!!
     
  2. beanie

    beanie Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 29, 2005
    Messages:
    9,108
    Likes Received:
    0
    Sorry to hear that you are feeling like this hon, I'm the complete opposite but hope I can help. I too didn't want it during first 3 months in case we did something, and there was only a brief time in betrween the first and third tri where I was interested. Am too uncomfortable now and my poor OH is feeling neglected, and this makes me feel really bad. I have caught him on the internet a couple of times but luckily that has not upset me. Have you tried telling him how he is making you feel, apparently some men do "feel funny" about having sex with a pregnant partner but perhaps you could take it slowly, like giving each other a massage or spend time hugging and stroking each other without having full sex. Maybe this would help him to relax about having sex. I liked having a bath with my OH as this usually got me in the mood (am just too fat now for that, even if he could also fit in the bath I guess the water would spill out). I hope you sort this out x
     
  3. Guest

    Hi hun, sorry OH has gone this way - some blokes are strange when it comes down to that arent they :? I can't offer any advice as I didn't have this problem with him - more like me :roll: but I had to reply regarding beanies post above - made me giggle as I very much know the feeling!!
     
  4. Julia

    Julia Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2005
    Messages:
    726
    Likes Received:
    0
    Thanks for the reply Beanie,

    I have decided I am not going to pressurise - this will just make it worse. I suppose it is like other things during pregnancy - can't drink, can't smoke etc. It is a very small price to pay for such a wonderful gift at the end of the nine months. I am not going to force the subject - just do as you suggest and make the most of stroking and hugging, as we do at the moment. Hopefully, we will get back to normal when the baby is born (if I am not too sore and tired! (It will probably be me that does not want it then!!!!)


    Julia xx
     
  5. Sarah W Baby Belly

    Sarah W Baby Belly Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 14, 2005
    Messages:
    1,924
    Likes Received:
    0
    If its any consolation, my DH has quite a low sex drive for a bloke and it really annoys me sometimes.

    He's amazing in every other way though thankfully, he just has other things that take priority like cars.

    OUr sex life hasn't changed much since we got pregnant. We still hardly ever do it, just like before! :cry:
     
  6. Kim

    Kim Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 10, 2005
    Messages:
    3,781
    Likes Received:
    0
    My OH doesn't want a lot either, he thinks it's rude in front of the baby!! Suits me though, it's really painful!!
     
  7. fayebalina

    fayebalina Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 28, 2005
    Messages:
    477
    Likes Received:
    0
    O/H was feeling wierd before my little scare......sex is off the agenda now for good untill Ash is born i think lol.
     
  8. Layla

    Layla Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 19, 2005
    Messages:
    4,815
    Likes Received:
    0
    sex is easeing off for me too now, me and my Oh used to still be together about 3 to 4 times a week, but in the past couple of weeks its gone down to once or twice a week if he is lucky!

    just getting to big to do anything lol
     
  9. Sarah W Baby Belly

    Sarah W Baby Belly Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 14, 2005
    Messages:
    1,924
    Likes Received:
    0
    Once or twice a week? Chance would be a fine thing! :cry: :cry:
     
  10. Layla

    Layla Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 19, 2005
    Messages:
    4,815
    Likes Received:
    0
    lol Id do it more if i could, its not that i dont want to, its my body thats letting me down, bump gets in the way now and there are certian positions i just wont do! lol
     
  11. Skidoo

    Skidoo Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 14, 2005
    Messages:
    496
    Likes Received:
    0
    Ha! Once or twice a month is more like it...
     
  12. Sarah W Baby Belly

    Sarah W Baby Belly Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 14, 2005
    Messages:
    1,924
    Likes Received:
    0
    I must admit, I am finally starting to feel unsexy :( . The other night I was going to put some sexy undies on and did my back in trying to get into them, and gave up. :lol: Ended up walking into the bedroom bent over double and grunting. Wasn't a good look. :D
     
  13. Guest

    LOL that made me giggle - and make me feel better about not having it for the next 3 months!! - sorry it didn't go well for you though !
     
  14. fayebalina

    fayebalina Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 28, 2005
    Messages:
    477
    Likes Received:
    0
    Yea i really envy those women who feel really sexy during pregnancy im only 23 weeks and i feel like a house already.....even when we do get round to doing the act my staminer is next to nothing and theres only a few positions i can get in to....feels like im makin love with a beach ball strapped to me!
     
  15. Julia

    Julia Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2005
    Messages:
    726
    Likes Received:
    0
    My DH has not got a very high sex drive when I am not pregnant - once a week maybe less is about average. I used to get my knickers in a twist but can't be bothered any more - many of my friends are in the same position. I think that it is just a myth in most instances that men want sex all the time - I wish!!!! Now that I am preggers, I have not got a hope in hell (not that I feel like it very much anyway!)

    Julia xx
     
  16. Hypnorm

    Hypnorm Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 15, 2005
    Messages:
    2,376
    Likes Received:
    0
    i wasn't interested at all during pregnancy , didn't feel sexy at all.
    Hubby still wanted it all the time, in the end i started to feel a bit resentful especially towards the end of the pregnancy coz i think he used the 'well they say sex might help start contractions..' a little to his advantage, whilst i lay back and think of england... wish i could get my sex drive back now sprog has arrived.
     
  17. lisa31

    lisa31 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 5, 2005
    Messages:
    1,367
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hypnorm

    Thanks god Im not the only one - was beginning to think I was abnormal lol.
    At the moment (well, for the last couple of months really) sex is the last thing i am thinking about - have no interest whatsoever - feel really bad about it - constatntly saying to D/H "its not you". Thing is with me I think Im too honest - I tell him exactly why I dont want to and dont lie by saying its painful etc etc - dont make him feel any better though.

    Dont see the point in saying Ive got a headache though - rather be honest - but I do feel a bit bad and have even worried that thats probably why so many relationships break up after a couple have had a baby. Hope mine returns soon.

    Perhaps our libido's have going on holiday or something!!!??? lol
     
  18. lisa31

    lisa31 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 5, 2005
    Messages:
    1,367
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hypnorm

    Thanks god Im not the only one - was beginning to think I was abnormal lol.
    At the moment (well, for the last couple of months really) sex is the last thing i am thinking about - have no interest whatsoever - feel really bad about it - constatntly saying to D/H "its not you". Thing is with me I think Im too honest - I tell him exactly why I dont want to and dont lie by saying its painful etc etc - dont make him feel any better though.

    Dont see the point in saying Ive got a headache though - rather be honest - but I do feel a bit bad and have even worried that thats probably why so many relationships break up after a couple have had a baby. Hope mine returns soon.

    Perhaps our libido's have going on holiday or something!!!??? lol
     
  19. *saulino*

    *saulino* Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 10, 2005
    Messages:
    10,473
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hello

    Sorry to hear that, im in the same boat we used to have it almost everday but now its me i think he cant enjoy himself cuz i complain the whole time. Its just so uncomfortable now instaed of being enjoyable and yes it does hurt sometimes. We did it more in the first two trimesters and i blead once right after intercourse but the doc said it was okay as long as it werent lots. But like Layla its about once or twice a week now, i really hope it gets better not worse once baby is here cuz i miss how it used ot be. Well at least most of us are going through the same thing.
    Talk to you later and take care
    Katrina
     
  20. Kerry

    Kerry Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 11, 2005
    Messages:
    903
    Likes Received:
    0
    I love this thread - makes us all feel so normal!!

    I have been trying to make the effort as I do seem to really enjoy it once I get my head round the idea but this weekend just gone my bump was a real problem and we just ended up laughing, we will have to try different positions if we want to keep it up but I think we are both quite happy to give it a miss at the moment.

    The worst thing was how much I ached the next day!! Just not used to it any more!! :wink:
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice