i was going to say that Leanne, i can't believe how many strong people are out there and i'm so proud of you all, even though i don't know you all that well, but it's nice to see survivers amongst our society that don't use their problems as an excuse like people on Jeremy Kyle!
Pinky and Toon, i too have a bad relationship with my mum, ever since i was 11 she didn't want to be my mum she wanted to be my 'friend' but tried to control me too. she neglected me as she let me go out when i wanted an knew i was seeing and meeting boys bust just left me to it because apparently 'i would just do it anyway'.and it was 'my choice to be the way i was'. i rebelled i think because i didn't get enough attention off my parents whilst growing up, they were more concerned about themselves. and dad had a lot of mental issues too. my mum and dad argued and fought to hell when we were younger younger and i had to hold a knife to them one day to get them to stop! i was so sick of hiding in my room with my big sister. anyway she just got used to me making problems for myself in life and made me feel worse and guilty every day. me and my fiance had to live their for a bit and she would emotionally blackmail us every day to move out until one day she tried to grab me by the throat, when i was pregnant, because i had been screaming about something that day (having a bad day as usual in that house). that was the last straw for Alan (my fiance and FOB) and he said we're never going back there again. an argument like that between my mum though seemed normal to me at the time as she had always been violent towards me if i don't agree with her or have my own mind. but i didn't let her knock me down. i would hit back! i just wish she gave me some discipline through those years like a normal mum
i still keep in touch with her now, for Riley's sake really. but i dislike her very much, she pulls my heart strings and still tries to control me even now and pretends she's my friend still. i have a christening tomorrow which is supposed to be one of the happiest days in our life but all i can think about is how is my mum going to be, will she look down at me as usual?
luckily ever since i met my fiance and his family i have had so much support with my issues and doctors that actually listen to the way i feel. so i am a lot better than i was in the past, which was self destructive.
just had to share that before the big day tomorrow! both me and Riley are getting christened
to you all and i'm sorry to head about the DD Pinky and Terrie but it was very insightful to read your stories and i'm so happy to see how strong you all are it really gives me hope. my problems don't sound half as bad as yours!! all the best xxxxxxxxx
he also took a full 6oz bottle straight off without screaming then he tried a spoon full of porridge (which he hated) and didn't go mental. So that made me feel a bit better. 
Leanne, same here about cutting ties at some point. it can get so hard sometimes..
colin just came out with a load of things about rape and now he's gone out (to the shop) and left me feeling like I've done something wrong!! For gods sake.. I don't want to talk about anything and he tells me he's upset because of my past.. I just want to forget it and get on with my life!!
i cant understand why he would dredge up such an awful subject with you when its clearly going to upset you. He really can be very insensetive at times eh?
sounds like you had a lovely day. We are getting both LO's christened in OH's catholic church. I'm not catholic but its what OH wants. I have the cutest little outfits for them 
xxx