I have no advice... only sympathy!
Phoebe went through exactly the same thing for near on 6 weeks! On the worst nights, I was up about 10 times settling her back to sleep with dummy, or water.
Have you tried offering water? Sounds like she's after the dummy though...
I wish I could offer a miracle cure, but hand on heart Phoebe just started sleeping through again. It was around about the time she started crawling. Apparently there's so many things running through their little heads that they can't sleep, and when they wake they want you to reassure them as the world just got 'bigger' as it were.
I think Phoebe has started putting her own dummy back in as well. I am not sure if it helped, but since she started sleeping well again, I leave her lumilove nightlight on all night - I guess it makes it easier for her to see it?
She also won't sleep without a muslin to cuddle up to now.
That's all a bit waffley isn't it?! Sorry, but you honestly have my sympathy 100%. Especially with the OH thing.
Tho on the odd occasion that I've left her to cry for more than a few mins, (after checking she is ok) she has ended up hysterical, and personally I just couldn't do it.