Deep thoughts!

Discussion in 'Second Trimester' started by simmy89, Aug 31, 2016.

  1. simmy89

    simmy89 Active Member

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    Hi everyone,

    So this is my first pregnancy, and both my partner and I are over the moon about it. I am just coming up to the second trimester after quite a difficult few weeks of constant nausea and sickness. Luckily this seems to be improving so hoping I'm turning a corner!

    I have been doing a lot of thinking about how having a baby will change my life, and although I am already in love with our little one it's quite scary thinking about how different everything will be in a few months time! I am not a terribly young mum (27) but none of my close friends have babies yet and I am worried about how being a mum will impact my friendships, as well as my relationship with my partner. He is the love of my life and could not have been more supportive- I have no doubt he will be an amazing dad but I am nervous about how being parents will change our relationship. Also, I have been in my job for just over a year now. Before this it took several years of training and a return to uni to enter my chosen career. I am worried about how having a baby will stall my career progression.

    I know that the joys of being a mum will outweigh all of these worries, but it's still hard not to think about these things! So basically just wondering if anyone else is in the same boat and wanting to share their thoughts. Would also love to hear from anyone who is having their second/third etc. baby and what it was like the first time round.

    Thanks :)
     
  2. BabyFrog

    BabyFrog Well-Known Member

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    I'm on my first, but feeling a lot of those same emotions!

    Some off my friends have kids already, but I'm worried more about how it will change my husband and I...

    I've mentioned it too him, and it did help. It was nice to have his reassurance that everything was going to be okay, even if it just is blind optimism! Xxx
     
  3. Laura1992

    Laura1992 Well-Known Member

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    Hi! I am also expecting my first (babies) and have had similar thoughts. I am 24, and none of my friends or siblings have children yet, so I do worry a bit about feeling isolated, although they are all very excited at the moment.. I have figured that I'll make new mummy friends, and I've already found that people are so friendly when they see my bump, and interested to know what I'm having etc. I feel part of a new club, and a lovely one at that!

    I worry about how it will affect my relationship with my partner, especially as we have not been together that long - babies came as quite a surprise. However, I know that he'll make an excellent father, and he's been amazing through my pregnancy so far (with the odd moan, maybe, when I ask him to fetch things more and more often)!

    The career things is something a think about too. I am considering starting a masters in social work from September 2017, which would mean two years of studying, so I'd be 27 by the time I could even start my career in social work, but I figure that now might be a good time to study, as it's 2-3 days per week (although classed full-time) so I'd be able to stay home with my little ones for a bit longer.

    Anyway, I think these are normals things to think about and it's good to! Congratulations on your first baby, how far along are you by the way?
     
  4. simmy89

    simmy89 Active Member

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    So great to hear from you both and I'm happy that although you are sharing my worries that you both have lots of support and are excited too :) I have definitely found that being open with my partner about any worries is really helping us both be on the same page about our expectations and talk about what's going to be important to us as a couple and as parents when the baby arrives.

    Laura1992- how weird, I am a social worker! There were a few people on my course who had young children and managed fine, I won't say it wasn't demanding at times (especially during placement) but my uni was very supportive of those who had to balance parenthood and study. And don't worry about your age- I was 26 when I started my first social work job and I was the second youngest person on my MA course (which I started when I was almost 24).

    Congratulations to you both, I am 11 weeks and 3 days today so a little early to be joining the second tri board but had my 12 week scan today and everything looking good so have let go of some of my early weeks anxiety. I have some pre-existing health conditions which automatically make me a high risk pregnancy but thank goodness so far everything is going smoothly.
     
  5. KateK

    KateK Well-Known Member

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    Hi Simmy, I was young when we had Poppy but she's the best thing that could have happened to me.. (had her at 21, she's now 4 and i'm pregnant with our second).

    She was a surprise and my pregnancy was full of doubt and worry and fear, this time round I feel nothing but sheer joy, I am so excited and haven't had an ounce of regret. I hope that shows how positively my daughter has impacted my life!

    I will say on the relationship front, we realised quickly that you just don't talk about parenting decisions much when you're a couple, so if and when we ran into problems we had a lot of negotiating to do. We were bought up very differently and as it turns out have very different views on religion, schooling, discipline and rewarding. My top advice would be to be patient, respect each other's opinions and be willing and ready to compromise. Neither of you are the expert so make sure you come to decisions together (still needing to remind myself this!!) You'll be just fine as long as you work as a team :)

    You will love being the first of the group to have a baby, and your friends will love it too! Trust me :)

    Your career will also be fine - women are incredible creatures and we will always adapt and cope. The anticipation is always worse than the reality, you'll get through it!

    Congratulations and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy, it's such a precious time xxx
     

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