Decided to TTC now my OH has gone all quiet :(

[tambo1976]

After 5 years together and 2 years umming and arring whether to have a child me and my OH finally made the decision to try for a baby... now all of a sudden he has gone quiet in the bedroom!

We normally have a fantastic sex life yet now it really matters he just seems to turn over and go to sleep! Weve probably only had sex about 6 times since my last period . Im pretty fuming about it, I have asked him over and over if he is 100% certain that he wants us to try, and he is it seems (unless he is a VERY good liar!)

I have spoken to him about my concerns, I am 35 so I want to conceive as fast as possible but he seems really laid back about it all. He has 2 kids from a previous relationship and reckons that he is very fertile and has told me not to worry, he reckons he will get me pregnant without even thinking about it! I on the other hand want to try properly for speedy results lol i.e always BDing on my most fertile days, lying with a pillow under my hips etc (you know the drill!)

So is it me being pushy or do all men react this way? I don't know if its because Im hypersensitive atm because I do really want us to non stop bonk til Im pregnant LOL or are men in general as laid back as this?!!!

Advice ladies pls! xx

RANT OVER!!!!

 

[CARNAT22]

My OH is has taken the stance that he'll have sex whenever I want but he doesn't need the discussions / analysis / debates / biological facts beforehand

xxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[liz_milne]

Maybe because he is of the frame of mind that he is very fertile he doesn't feel like it matters so much. Men don't really understand the timing factor and most would probably think you stick it in, do your stuff and BANG you're pregnant!

I would try to voice your concerns to him again and explain to him the percentages of actually conceiving. It will maybe make him realise how lucky he was to have fathered before and appreciate how hard it can and might be?

fingers x'd the few occasions you HAVE BD'd this cycle will be the lucky one and hope you get your BFP soon xxxxxx

Sorry don't know what else to say but didn't want to read and run hun xxx

 

[tambo1976]

Yeah I suppose He thinks he is some kind of Super Sperm Man!



Made me lol^^

Bloody men they dont appreciate the importance of it all I guess

 

[liz_milne]

lol i like that! Very apt!

 

[russellmuscle]

Before christmas my bf had actually said to me that he wanted to try and concieve and then once we began to speak about it was like he went all quiet and I felt that I was banging on about it and he kind of didnt make an effort, and then eventually I just confronted him and said basicly your making me feel pushy and like im going on n on and then after that hes been the one asking and taking an interest I think it takes men a while to adjust!

 

[dyscochick]

Love that pic, i think my oh thinks he's got super sperm too, cos it only took the once last night and we were ntnp so timing wasn't considered. we'll see what this cycle brings and if he can live up to his expectations!

 

[babyfever]

I made the mistake of making the ttc a daily topic for my dh and I. He really doesn't mind the bd'ing but somehow when I tell him things like "fertile days" "ovulation" he shuts down literally. So I just keep certain details to my self and this forum! Maybe he doesn't need to be in the loop about every detail of ttc....

 

[corky]

my man reacted the exact same way, I think it's just because they're nervous, and men deal with it differently but when we get obsessive they feel overwhelmed, best advice i got was to stop talking to him about it, just initiate sex more often- NOT just on fertile days but all the time, i think men feel a bit used, if we only want them a week a month, can't blame them i'd feel the same.. good luck, try to chill xxx

 

[badtasteinmusi]

my other half also seems to have taken more of an interest in sleeping than other bedroom activities at the minute. We are meant to be ntnp but thats only because I can't let the full extent of my longing for a baby be known! Having said that he is still recovering from abdominal surgery and has another surgery lined up for march so I am just trying to be patient at the minute but its not easy!!

 

[tambo1976]

Morning Ladies!

Well I spoke to him last night and he said "I just want you to know I aint a sperm machine!" Cheeky so and so lol

I told him "yes you are when I get 2 red lines! other than that its fun all the way"

So I guess no more conception talk from me til he chills out a bit hehe... Men... they just dont understand it becomes some kind of obsession for us lot, thank God we have these forums! xxx

 

[russellmuscle]

dj was the exact same, he seems to think that because we are TTC that I would only want to BD and bother with him at OV times - must really upset guys to think that!

 

[EssJayPea]

Hey hun. I can totally relate. Ttc turns even the sanest woman into a nutcase... We had a great sex life then as soon as we started ttc, there was a total sex drought and I was stressed out thinking it would never happen. I spent a small fortune on digital OPKs as well as numerous cb digitals. I'd be jumping about when I got my smiley face and turn on the old charm to get him in the sack. I got pretty much the same response about feeling I was only interested in having a baby and he couldn't take the pressure. I felt so bad when he said this but it was the same thing every month. We both felt immense relief once we actually caught as it meant we could chill out again and enjoy each other without him thinking I was just after his super sperm. Lol. Now, it's me that's off sex and OH is moaning. We can't win, hun! XXxx