***December 2019 Mummies***

[teachermummy]

I'm full on waddling already. If people can't already tell by the belly they can certainly tell by the pregnancy waddle!

 

[Baby Ali]

How is everyone??? Abit quiet in here lol

 

[teachermummy]

It has been so quiet! I don't even check that much cos hardly anyone posts lol. When I was here with my other two kids I was on constantly!!

 

[Elfs Mummy]

We’re away at the moment for a few weeks I get back the day before my next scan.
Nothing really to report at the moment x

 

[Sjf0709]

Haha I was thinking it’s a bit quiet but I thought that maybe because Tri2 is meant to be the ‘best one’ so we have nothing to moan about haha.

Yesterday I started to get pain in/above my left hip. It was like a stabbing pain that happened only for a short while but happened a few times throughout the evening. It’s not even like a stretching pain. I really hope I’m not getting problems with my hips!! I’m going to have to start to sleep with a cushion in between my legs I think x

 

[em1994]

I’m still here. I’ll be posting a lot more when my August exams are over. 23 and a half weeks.. can’t believe it! I second the need for the maternity pillow. At the moment, tucking the duvet between my legs helps me feel more comfortable.

He was sticking his bum up in the air earlier - I think - as the right side of my stomach bumped up. Felt like a little alien trying to break out

 

[em1994]

Haha I was thinking it’s a bit quiet but I thought that maybe because Tri2 is meant to be the ‘best one’ so we have nothing to moan about haha.

Yesterday I started to get pain in/above my left hip. It was like a stabbing pain that happened only for a short while but happened a few times throughout the evening. It’s not even like a stretching pain. I really hope I’m not getting problems with my hips!! I’m going to have to start to sleep with a cushion in between my legs I think x

I know it wasn’t a typical stretching pain but I wonder if it’s to do with stretching at all. I keep waking up in the night with evil calf cramps and I can get pain down my thighs. I think it must be my uterus swelling and putting pressure on nerves.

 

[em1994]

I posted before about comments made by SIL but the situation has got worse unfortunately:

2 nights ago we had a bust up. We went out with DH’s family for a meal for my stepdaughter’s birthday. Once again.. the critical comments started. This time it was to do with my son’s diet. DS (dear son) is a nightmare with food and he’s been like this since he was a baby. He’s never had an interest in eating bizarrely.

I’ve tried to get support with him for years. He was under an infant feeding specialist previously, I’ve spoken to health visitors, his nursery, school.. everyone. We’ve tried a variety of different techniques but to no avail. I had to battle to get him a further referral to the feeding clinic at the hospital and we’re seeing a paediatrician this week.

Tonight, DS (dear son) was eating chicken strips. He did not complain and he was eating nicely. Despite this, SIL (sister-in-law) was saying that I should have cracked the eating issues years ago, that his behaviour with food is appalling and that if he can eat chicken strips tonight then why don’t I make him eat regular chicken in a chicken dinner.

I explained that I’m sure I’ve made a lot of mistakes with DS, but DH (dear husband) and I really do try. She started shouting at me and waving her finger in my face saying he’s my child, my responsibility and I should have sorted things out years and years ago. When I said that I have been trying to get support with him, she said that I’m passing the buck on to other people. I explained that’s not the case - clearly whatever I’m doing is not working and I’m just looking for guidance from professionals.

She complained that I’m not sending him to school with a healthy packed lunch. Again, we have tried packing nutritious meals in the hope that he’d be so hungry he’d try the food. He went all day at school without touching a single thing and started falling asleep in lessons. He had infant school meals with the other kids up until this year.. but just survived on a plain jacket potato (no butter).

DH (dear husband) told her firmly that the way she’d spoken to me these past few weeks was completely unacceptable, he’d had enough and that this criticism of me has to stop.

He pointed out that no child is perfect and that perhaps she should look closer to home before calling me out on my parenting. He pointed out that our niece (same age as DS) can be very rude at times and that tonight SIL (sister-in-law) had not called her up on getting out of her chair every few mins and messing about.

Even MIL (mother-in-law) got involved at that point to say that DS (dear son) had sat and eaten really nicely tonight and that our niece had just messed around and barely touched her food.

She stood up and shouted that no one had the right to criticise her parenting like this. Then she told me that I need to get a grip, sort my child out and that DS’ behaviour is the most disgusting behaviour she’d ever seen in a child.

MIL asked what had got in to her and that she’d ruined stepdaughter’s birthday. She pointed at DS and said ‘no, he had with his eating issues’. DS was still sitting there quietly and eating his chicken fingers without a fuss it was the best way he could undermine her point and show who was really behaving badly that evening - the 39 year old adult and not the 8 year old child.

She then took her kids, stormed out and didn’t bother paying for the meals they’d just eaten.

Other than with his eating, we have no other behavioural issues with DS (dear son)fortunately. In fact, whilst she was venting about him, DS (dear son) (who was sitting next to her) just quietly ate his chicken fingers without a fuss.

The criticism was targeted solely at me because DS (dear son) is not DH’s biological child (even though DH (dear husband) has been there since DS (dear son) was 2 and raised him as his own). She just kept saying how this was all my fault.

She’s a primary school teacher and so I can’t believe her complete lack of empathy. I have no idea where to go with her from here but I feel like I can’t have her in mine or DS’ lives until I’m sure this sort of incident won’t be repeated. It’s so unfair to say all this when sitting right next to him.

Had a discussion with MIL afterwards who has also picked up that SIL seems to keep deliberately raising stories about stillbirth, miscarriage and pregnancy complications in front of me. I hate to say it but it feels like she’s wishing that something will go wrong.

I don’t get it because we’ve always been friendly towards her, see her every weekend and she would always stay for hours chatting to me on a Saturday evening whilst I cooked dinner for us all. We’ve been on holidays together and looked after each other’s kids. I can be civil with her for DH’s sake but she has effectively ruined our friendship. I feel that there are jealousy issues because she’s a single parent. That is the only thing I can think of.

 

[teachermummy]

Definitely sounds like it stems from jealousy, and she just can't control her emotions. She's perhaps upset that you're having another child and she can't, that you have a supportive husband, and she doesn't, etc. You haven't done anything wrong, and I know it's easier said than done but just ignore her and everything she's doing xx

 

[Baby Ali]

Clearly she’s jealous
I would ignore her and not waste my breath on her ever again till she has something nice to say

 

[Baby Ali]

Pregnancy is a stressful time for expecting mothers we r always over thinking especially if previously had MC and so on
We dnt need more stress of family members or anyone. Personally i just want to get through the remaining months concentrating on my pregnancy and hoping for a good labour and delivery x

 

[chattychar1990]

Thread hopping but i couldn't read and run.
Your SIL sounds like a vile person (sorry)
I would absolutely be cutting her out of my life if i was in your situation.
She sounds like a very nasty horrible person and you don't need that kind of negativity in your life especially when your pregnant and your hormones are flying all over the place.
Just remember your an amazing mum to your son and don't let anyone tell you different x

 

[Elfs Mummy]

Thread hopping but i couldn't read and run.
Your SIL sounds like a vile person (sorry)
I would absolutely be cutting her out of my life if i was in your situation.
She sounds like a very nasty horrible person and you don't need that kind of negativity in your life especially when your pregnant and your hormones are flying all over the place.
Just remember your an amazing mum to your son and don't let anyone tell you different x

This... she doesn’t deserve any part of you. She’s bullying a small child because of her own issues. It’s disgusting even if it is down to jealousy or she had any valid reasons she’s gone way to far.

 

[Baby Ali]

I am still at mums going back home on friday after 3 weeks holiday lol
Got 5 months scan on Wednesday 14th

 

[Lollypop79]

I posted before about comments made by SIL but the situation has got worse unfortunately:

2 nights ago we had a bust up. We went out with DH’s family for a meal for my stepdaughter’s birthday. Once again.. the critical comments started. This time it was to do with my son’s diet. DS (dear son) is a nightmare with food and he’s been like this since he was a baby. He’s never had an interest in eating bizarrely.

I’ve tried to get support with him for years. He was under an infant feeding specialist previously, I’ve spoken to health visitors, his nursery, school.. everyone. We’ve tried a variety of different techniques but to no avail. I had to battle to get him a further referral to the feeding clinic at the hospital and we’re seeing a paediatrician this week.

Tonight, DS (dear son) was eating chicken strips. He did not complain and he was eating nicely. Despite this, SIL (sister-in-law) was saying that I should have cracked the eating issues years ago, that his behaviour with food is appalling and that if he can eat chicken strips tonight then why don’t I make him eat regular chicken in a chicken dinner.

I explained that I’m sure I’ve made a lot of mistakes with DS, but DH (dear husband) and I really do try. She started shouting at me and waving her finger in my face saying he’s my child, my responsibility and I should have sorted things out years and years ago. When I said that I have been trying to get support with him, she said that I’m passing the buck on to other people. I explained that’s not the case - clearly whatever I’m doing is not working and I’m just looking for guidance from professionals.

She complained that I’m not sending him to school with a healthy packed lunch. Again, we have tried packing nutritious meals in the hope that he’d be so hungry he’d try the food. He went all day at school without touching a single thing and started falling asleep in lessons. He had infant school meals with the other kids up until this year.. but just survived on a plain jacket potato (no butter).

DH (dear husband) told her firmly that the way she’d spoken to me these past few weeks was completely unacceptable, he’d had enough and that this criticism of me has to stop.

He pointed out that no child is perfect and that perhaps she should look closer to home before calling me out on my parenting. He pointed out that our niece (same age as DS) can be very rude at times and that tonight SIL (sister-in-law) had not called her up on getting out of her chair every few mins and messing about.

Even MIL (mother-in-law) got involved at that point to say that DS (dear son) had sat and eaten really nicely tonight and that our niece had just messed around and barely touched her food.

She stood up and shouted that no one had the right to criticise her parenting like this. Then she told me that I need to get a grip, sort my child out and that DS’ behaviour is the most disgusting behaviour she’d ever seen in a child.

MIL asked what had got in to her and that she’d ruined stepdaughter’s birthday. She pointed at DS and said ‘no, he had with his eating issues’. DS was still sitting there quietly and eating his chicken fingers without a fuss it was the best way he could undermine her point and show who was really behaving badly that evening - the 39 year old adult and not the 8 year old child.

She then took her kids, stormed out and didn’t bother paying for the meals they’d just eaten.

Other than with his eating, we have no other behavioural issues with DS (dear son)fortunately. In fact, whilst she was venting about him, DS (dear son) (who was sitting next to her) just quietly ate his chicken fingers without a fuss.

The criticism was targeted solely at me because DS (dear son) is not DH’s biological child (even though DH (dear husband) has been there since DS (dear son) was 2 and raised him as his own). She just kept saying how this was all my fault.

She’s a primary school teacher and so I can’t believe her complete lack of empathy. I have no idea where to go with her from here but I feel like I can’t have her in mine or DS’ lives until I’m sure this sort of incident won’t be repeated. It’s so unfair to say all this when sitting right next to him.

Had a discussion with MIL afterwards who has also picked up that SIL seems to keep deliberately raising stories about stillbirth, miscarriage and pregnancy complications in front of me. I hate to say it but it feels like she’s wishing that something will go wrong.

I don’t get it because we’ve always been friendly towards her, see her every weekend and she would always stay for hours chatting to me on a Saturday evening whilst I cooked dinner for us all. We’ve been on holidays together and looked after each other’s kids. I can be civil with her for DH’s sake but she has effectively ruined our friendship. I feel that there are jealousy issues because she’s a single parent. That is the only thing I can think of.

Hey. Just jumping in as often check on the dec mummies page. I’m so sorry this is happening to you. Sounds as though as others have said she is very jealous of you. Probably stemming from being a single parent, she’s worrying that no one will accept her and her children and she will be all alone. She sees you in a steady happy, relationship with another baby on the way. Her brother has accepted your DS as his own which is lovely.
This is coming out in the nasty things she is saying about your son and problems in pregnancy. If I was you I’d keep her at arms length. At end of day it’s her problem. You sound like an amazing mother to your son. Very hard dealing with excessive eating issues and More hard to get the support at times so good for you for sticking to your guns.

I had a friend who was a single mother at same time I was. When I met my now fiancé she would say some horrendous Things and put me down constantly. I felt it was jealousy and funnily enough once she met someone she totally changed her attitude towards me. Good luck x

 

[Baby Ali]

How is everyone feeling?? Everyone’s Bumps going bigger and bigger each week
I feel am alot smaller this pregnancy
I feel this baby will be small not the usual over 8lb babies i have

 

[teachermummy]

I just still feel it's all fat, my naked bump just looks like overhang. I'm only a size 14 so it's not like I'm properly overweight, but my mummy tummy is ridiculous. My bump looks bump like when it's tucked into over-the-bump jeans but other than that it's just wobbly. Ihad such cute round bumps with my girls.

 

[em1994]

Hey. Just jumping in as often check on the dec mummies page. I’m so sorry this is happening to you. Sounds as though as others have said she is very jealous of you. Probably stemming from being a single parent, she’s worrying that no one will accept her and her children and she will be all alone. She sees you in a steady happy, relationship with another baby on the way. Her brother has accepted your DS as his own which is lovely.
This is coming out in the nasty things she is saying about your son and problems in pregnancy. If I was you I’d keep her at arms length. At end of day it’s her problem. You sound like an amazing mother to your son. Very hard dealing with excessive eating issues and More hard to get the support at times so good for you for sticking to your guns.

I had a friend who was a single mother at same time I was. When I met my now fiancé she would say some horrendous Things and put me down constantly. I felt it was jealousy and funnily enough once she met someone she totally changed her attitude towards me. Good luck x

Thank you to all the lovely comments and advice. I’ve had a discussion with DH about SIL and we’ve both agreed that she has no place in our lives until she can assure us that there won’t be a repeat of this incident.

She shared an article on Facebook a day after the incident, which was titled ‘why children need more fruit and vegetables than ever before’ and captioned that she was going to make fresh smoothies with lots of frozen fruits for her children that afternoon She has complained to me these past few weeks about how I should be ‘making’ DS eat fruit and vegetables - I can only get fruit purée down him.

I felt that was another thinly veiled dig and DH says he feels there is no remorse.

Thank you for all the support everyone

 

[teachermummy]

Block her. I've blocked family before! Can't be doing with the stress.

 

[Deb91]

Hi all, new to the forum and have come across this thread - due 26th December with our first 20week scan on Monday 12th

After reading back a bit, I wish I had found this sooner!