Daughter won't sleep in "Big Girl's Bed"...

[Julia]

Hi Mums/Dads,

My little girl is 2 and 4 months and we have just changed her from a cot to a toddler bed. I am currently 7 months pregnant so will need the cot for the new baby.

She is usually very good at bedtimes BUT will not settle in her new "big girl bed" and comes in with me. She is so determined! I have tried many things - being firm, reading stories, sitting with her, ignoring her etc... The problem is I am so exhausted from going up and down to her bedroom (being pregnant) I just give in a put her in my bed then transfer her when she is asleep. She is not learning to go to bed and stay in her own bed....

Any advice?


Julia xxx

 

[mum's the word]

Looks like you're going to have to be consistent and patient for a good few nights and follow a strict pre-bedtime routine followed by bed at a set time, should take less than a week if you can be strong enough not to bend the rules! My 1st son didn't sleep in his own bed all night every night until he was 3 because I kept caving in. The best thing to do is establish a maximum of 3 quiet relaxing activities before bed, ie bath, cuddle/story, best do do story upstairs if your bathroom is downstairs. Put her to bed with one kiss, say you'll be back for another kiss and work on gradually reducing the number of kisses and time between each one every night. Be quite repetitive with your phrases and don't reward getting out of bed with cuddles or by letting her in your bed (so hard). By night 3 it should be sinking in well and truly so just focus on that when it gets tough, and follow the same routine if she wakes frequently during the 1st nights. As patronising as it sounds, consistency is the key, once she knows the only option is to sleep in her bed she should give up on the emotional blackmail. I would also not make an issue of the new bed being a 'big girls bed', this maybe making her feel like it's more of a leap than it actually is, it's just her bed, not any more than that. Gosh, just read that back and it sounds like a lecture-sorry! Let me know how you get on and maybe I can offer some more tips-i have several books on sleep that I've gathered over the years! Good luck!
x

 

[Julia]

Thanks so much for your reply, Mum's the word,

I am going to try the "bath before bed" tonight, to calm her. I always read a story to her but will try to do it when she is in bed or in the chair next to her bed. I think I am just going to have to bite the bullet and not cave in for the next couple of nights until she gets the message.

When I potty trained her, I used a sticker as reward system which worked like a dream. I think I will try this again with the bed situation "if you sleep in your bed all night, you will get a sticker/reward...what do you think?

I am also going to get my husband to put the bed guard up to give her a bit of extra security as I feel she thinks she is going to fall out.

I will take your advice and not make a any more of an issue of "big girl's bed" as perhaps, as you said, it seems like to much of a big thing for her.

Thanks so much for your advice...I will let you know how I get on

Julia xxxxxxxx

 

[mum's the word]

Hi Julia,

I think the bed guard is a great idea-offers that extra bit of security too. 'biting the bullet' is definately the way forward and there's no rush if you feel like giving her a few more nights in your bed then just set a date to sort it out and you'll be 100% mentally prepared!
been thinking aabout the stickers and I'm not sure whether it's worth adding extra incentives as bedtime needs to be part of life's daily routine rather than a behaviour-linked thing, but if she responds well it may be wotrth a go.
Not sure about you but I'm starting to feel guilty about another baby forcing my l/o to grow up too quick, but mine will only be 18 months when baby arrives so he's still a baby too. I quite enjoyed co-sleeping with my 1st son but bedtimes were chaotic and he couldn't sleep anywhere else unless he shared a bed with my mum/dad or his other grandparents so it was restricting.
When you do get it all sorted you'll be amazed how easy it was and be glad it's sorted in plenty of time for the new arrival and in time for you to get some solid sleep before the sleep-deprivation starts again!

Lucy x

 

[maybebaby]

I'm glad you posted this, I'm going to be moving my son into a toddler bed hopefully at the end of September, for the same reasons as you - we need to free up the cot! He's normally REALLY good at going to sleep on his own but I am a bit worried about how he'll be when he can get up.

So no advice but definitely let us know hoe you get on! Good luck

 

[Julia]

Hi Girls,

My little girl has now slept in her own toddler bed for two nights - all night!!!! I can't believe it. I did the going in every 5 minutes and that worked like a dream - she dropped off on about the sixth time I went in. She also had a present for sleeping in her own bed from the first night - which she loved! BUT i explained that this was only a one off and she would not be getting a present EVERY time she slept through!!!

Julia xxxx

 

[mum's the word]

Hi Julia,

Great news! Well done to you both-hope you got yourself a present too. Bedtimes are going to be chaos here when the new baby arrives-3 kids to put to bed in 2 bedrooms! Keep up the routine and it'll be no prob getting her to bed, if you have the odd lapse if either of you are poorly or you go away for example, just do the same again and she'll be back on track. Hope you fit in some rest between now and the birth!

Lucy x

 

[Julia]

Thanks Mums the Word,

This is now the third night - think I may have cracked it (but don't want to speak too soon!!)

It sounds like bedlam (excuse the punn) in your house at bedtimes!! You are a saint!! You must have everything under control though!

Julia xxxxxx