Date for first scan...

Amy0801

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Came home from work today to find a letter from the hospital for dating scan..its on 23rd May. I'm quite scared of going because I'm worried something might have happened or that it might be twins or that I will see it and not feel anything towards it :( I'm still struggling with my feelings...One minute I'm fine and think yes I can do this and then the next I'm panicing and think we've made a mistake. I know I have mentioned these feelings in other posts but I just can't seem to get over them..I would have thought I would be ok by now. It doesn't help that I have been feeling so crap lately with the usual tiredness and sickness and I just think to myself why am I putting myself through this..DD is 6 and is doing more things by herself and I am getting my life back a bit and now we are going back to square one. Because I suffer with anxiety I need a lot of reassurance and I'm not getting that at the moment..If I try and talk to DF about my feelings he just says "well its too late now"! How does that help me. I haven't told any family or friends so you ladies are the only ones I can talk to..im really worried about becoming depressed :(
 
Have you spoke to your midwife about how you're feeling?
 
In your booking appointment they'll ask you a series of questions about your mood.... They did me. I explained im currently having CBT for anxiety. MW will ask you if you want a referral but as I'm already in therapy she didn't ask me. X
 
Yes she asked me if I struggle with anxiety or depression to which I said both but I have never been treated for them and she just wrote it down. I saw my doctor last year when i fell pregnant and i just went into stress mode so i talked to her about my anxiety and she said to have a few days think about it and if i felt as though it wasnt the right time to have a baby then we can take it for there but i ended up having an eraly misscariage a couple of days later. Im not very good at talking about my problems as I don't want to look weak as I like to be in controle..I know that sounds daft. I feel everything has got worse since daughter was diagnosed with ASD and that it will get worse if I have another baby. Im feeling a bit down though because I feel so crap and I can't exercise..everytime I think I'm starting to feel better so I'll do some exercise I end up with a headache , feel sick or I fall asleep!! I know I'm probably being really silly but I just want to feel excited about having another baby xx
 
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Ask midwife if there is a Pregnancy in Mind course run by NSPCC in your area...
I love with severe anxiety on a daily basis. I had wanted a baby for so long. I love my bubba more than anything, but so scared something will happen, although my latest obsession is that I am going to have it in August instead if September and that worries me. Such a non thing to worry about, but it gets to me badly. This is a minor worry in comparison to constant self loathing and disbelief that this is actually happening to us.
Anyway, basically, I have some understanding of how you feel. It's such a hard time anyway, even without the anxiety!
You'll manage. Whatever you do, you'll manage. Sounds like the midwife needs to be a little more sympathetic and proactive. Change midwife if she doesn't take this seriously enough.
There should also be a mental health midwife. Ask about this from midwife and just be honest and explain everything. If midwife no good, look up mental health midwife at your hospital and should be a direct number for her/him.
They can also advise, should you need medication, on the best to take in pregnancy.

It must be so hard for you in your situation. I am sure your daughter will love her little brother or sister and this might help, do you think?
Good luck.
Remember, you're not alone. Definitely look up Pregnancy in mind which leads on to Baby Steps and really helps to support mind, body and soul and to prepare for what is to come :) xx
 
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