Dad being very childish, or am I being sensitive?

[stormiedawn597]

I'm almost 17 weeks now with a boy, and the pregnancy has been going pretty smoothly so far. Within the last couple of days I've finally started feeling some movements from him, which is HUGELY exciting for me! Occasionally if I'm laying right, it's something you can feel as well when touching my belly. So I asked my boyfriend if he would like to feel his son move and he absolutely refused. He said that the baby is creepy and weird, especially since he's still so small and looks like a weird "alien". He says it makes him uncomfortable and it's stupid for him to sit there touching my stomach to wait for him to move.

I feel like this is very rude and childish, and honestly it kind of hurts. I mean, it's our child, and he's just a baby. The same baby he will be later on, just smaller. It's really starting to frustrate me!

- Stormie

 

[luratraloora]

Awww I get what you mean hun, Id be upset if my partner didnt want to feel baby moving and referred to it as an "alien". Its meant to be a lovely exciting first time feeling the baby move. Xx

 

[Rubyredslipper]

I think he's just being a typical many to be honest. A lot of people get freaked out by belly movements and he probably just feels a bit odd sitting there touching your belly waiting for something he doesn't know what it should feel like!
I would feel the same, but I'd say give him time and when the kicks really start coming he will want to experience it with you.

 

[KateK]

Oh dear! I completely understand why you're upset but my other half (and many others) are exactly the same.. We were only 20 when we got pregnant with our daughter and aside from the obvious shock and massive readjustment he just didn't seem that bothered by the development of the baby.. I think it's harder for them especially with the first as they can't see anything, feel anything, they feel a lot less connected than we do being the carriers. I do sympathise with the men in this respect. He did start to get more excited as my bump grew and movements were bigger but I definitely wouldn't have had him laying down at 17 weeks waiting for tiny flutters! xx

 

[stormiedawn597]

Awww I get what you mean hun, Id be upset if my partner didnt want to feel baby moving and referred to it as an "alien". Its meant to be a lovely exciting first time feeling the baby move. Xx

It's very upsetting! Especially his reasoning behind it and that he calls baby an alien It's so very special!

 

[stormiedawn597]

I think he's just being a typical many to be honest. A lot of people get freaked out by belly movements and he probably just feels a bit odd sitting there touching your belly waiting for something he doesn't know what it should feel like!
I would feel the same, but I'd say give him time and when the kicks really start coming he will want to experience it with you.

Maybe, I just wish that he wouldn't laugh and joke about how gross and weird and creepy our son is, and still mean it. It's really hurtful and he goes beyond just thinking it's creepy to being childish and rude about it.

 

[stormiedawn597]

Oh dear! I completely understand why you're upset but my other half (and many others) are exactly the same.. We were only 20 when we got pregnant with our daughter and aside from the obvious shock and massive readjustment he just didn't seem that bothered by the development of the baby.. I think it's harder for them especially with the first as they can't see anything, feel anything, they feel a lot less connected than we do being the carriers. I do sympathise with the men in this respect. He did start to get more excited as my bump grew and movements were bigger but I definitely wouldn't have had him laying down at 17 weeks waiting for tiny flutters! xx

Yeah, that's how old we are, too. And even if he doesn't care, he doesn't have to be truly rude about it like he is, you know? I'm sure he'll think differently soon enough though. But if I have to hear that our baby is creepy and weird one more time I'll probably lose it!

 

[Rubyredslipper]

My partner is 40 and he thinks it's a bit weird, granted he's not called the baby an alien but he does shudder sometimes when he feels a big kick so it's just a man thing!!
Maybe explain you don't like the whole alien thing and ask him not to refer to the baby as that again xx

 

[Laura1992]

Not just a man thing!

I totally understand that this is upsetting, although I think I get where your OH is coming from. My OH loves to touch my bump and feel them squirm around, which is a new development in the last few days for us too. I, on the other hand, find it a bit freaky to feel my bump squirming! It just icks me out a little, and it doesn't mean I think the babies are weird, it's just a sensory thing I suppose. Everyone is different, and perhaps he just isn't wording it very well! Unfortunately I'm going to have to get over it, as I will be kicked to death over the coming months!

And with the alien thing, my older sister says she finds pregnancy disgusting (no children of her own yet) and I constantly hear "ew" "gross" and "they look freaky/like aliens" from her. Some people just have no tact.. although those baby alien toys that used to be popular do look a bit foetal.

 

[Laura1992]

I've just read some more of your posts and it does sound like he's trying to wind you up/ being insensitive. Next time he's rude about your little boy, I'd "jokily" tell him to f$ck right off if he doesn't want his balls to meet your knee

 

[SiameseCatLady]

Give him time... Really feel for you as that would upset me too.
It's upsetting but they do things differently. They don't feel it in the same way. I am now nearly 37 weeks and it took my husband ages to get really into feeling it. It doesn't mean he doesn't love your baby and the whole alien description is insensitive but, again, they don't think about it in the same way. Because they grow inside use and we undoubtedly have a 'closer' bond to them. You must tell him how you feel, though. He will get there.
There is another thought though... Perhaps he is squeamish! My friend had her baby recently and she said it made her feel sick seeing her little girl move inside her and feeling her moving inside her. It never meant she didn't love her, in fact she's obsessed with her!
I am sure he will get there and if he doesn't then you need to have a serious conversation about it! Xx