Couldn't believe it!

Discussion in 'Forum Friends' started by pink lady, Jul 3, 2005.

?

did you ever look at an apparently single pregnant girl and judge, rather than seeing a pregnant mar

  1. yes

  2. no

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  1. pink lady

    pink lady Well-Known Member

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    my baby is due 16 oct, so i was only 22 weeks preggy when i visited the states to get married. I was walking through a mall and to my horror a woman came up to me and asked would i do a survey for her. The survey was only for girlss aged 14-17! i'm going to be 22 in august and am showing my pregnancy just nicely! Mortified i was!

    Then to top the day off i had gone into a beauty parlour to have a manicure and pedicure, the thai girl working on my foot asked was i with child! the first one to notice, so i grinned, proudly rubbed my tummy and said i was. to this she replied, 'too much fun, yah?' well that was it for me, no tip and as soon as i could i got out of there!

    What i have noticed is that as i'm a married woman now, a lot of other women, say for example in a toilet cue, will smile at me and nod etc, whereas before when i was just engaged i got the filthiest looks in my direction!

    Surely we don't still live in the stone-age where we all have to be married to have children? so we should be judged if there aren't two rings on that finger?

    Let me know what you think


    look forward to your responses.


    my nails did turn out good and it is a family joke now about how much fun i've obviously had!!!!!!

    Pink Lady
     
  2. Guest

    I've only got the tinyest of bumps coming along now and often walk around holding my little bump -I guess making it clear that I am PG. the amount of looks, comments and stares I get is driving me mad and has made me cry many times. I'm not a single mother, but yes the pregnancy was unplanned but we do not plan to get married. I don't want to just to please other people. We will marry when we have to finances to lash out on all the trimmings!! :D That's the way we want it done. i don't know why some people give us reif for that. I never judge a woman who is on her own either PG or with a baby in a pram. I usually smile instead as I can see they are getting glares from other closed minded people.

    I hate the way people are though. It's not the stone age - I'm 19, in a relationship, happy and having his child. Why is that wrong? :?
     
  3. sarahking

    sarahking Well-Known Member

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    I know how you feel. Im 21 and always get people saying i look younger. Im married (for nearly a year) and my husbuand keeps saying i should be grateful people think im young but i know exactly how you feel! its soooo annoying! I havent had many people comment or stare but there is that awful stereotype out there. I dont know how people dare, its 21st century for gods sake,lesbians can have babies and everything these days so i dont see how people dare look down on single people. As long as you are happy then stuff everyone else! they have obviously goit nothing better to do than let there strained imaginations work over time. :x

    yikes i went on a bit of a rant there! :oops: sorry! we know how hard it is,anyone out there pregnant or with a baby single or n ot is blessed and has proably worked hard to get there and is doin a damn good job at it!

    wouldnt it be great if we could just read peoples minds for a day though!?
     
  4. Lou

    Lou Well-Known Member

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    Right I'm gonna be a bit controversial here and admit that yes..i do judge young girls who are visably pregnant, but not all young girls! Lets be honest about it, how many young girls have you seen out shopping and on these tv programmes about out of control kids who have absolutely no clue how to talk to a child let lone bring one up to be an all round, well mannered, respectable person? I can't tell you how many times I cringe when I'm out and about and all I can hear is "get here now or I'll slap ya" or "no you can't have any bloody sweets".

    Its a sad thing to admit but we must have all looked at these youngs girls at some point and thought "you should never have brought a child into this world before you grew up yourself". Haven't we? I have!

    Of course its not all young girls and there are plenty of older mums who also bring up their kids in a less than decent way but it is a stereotype which is common, in my area at least.

    :)
     
  5. bobtheunfortunateone

    bobtheunfortunateone Well-Known Member

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    I don't think it is single people I look at, it is more I think Very young looking people that I tend to look at more, not judging them, just thinking it will be hard work, being that young! When I went to the doctors to ask if my hubby could come to my first midwife appointment the receptionist turned to a midwife there and the midwife looked at me and said "oh I thought you had just come from school until I heard Husband!" I'm 26 nearly 27 "WOOOOO HOOO" So there is alot of school kids aged people who have kids and I must admit when my Half Brother was born I was 14 and people used to look at me pushing him everywhere and I know the looks that I try not to do now! It is sometimes hard, but married or not does not matter to me, but saying that I wanted to be married before kids came along, because I thought not many people do that nowadays!
     
  6. Sunshine

    Sunshine Well-Known Member

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    I am 33 years old, have 2 lovely kids and I'm expecting my 3rd in February. I have been with their dad since I was 15! We are not married and have no intentions of getting married until we come into some money and can afford to go away somwhere hot and do it as we have always wanted to. Who knows if that'll ever happen!!

    When I told my dad I was expecting my 1st his initial reaction was "So when are you getting married then?" - he was great like that!!!!!!

    I changed my name when my daughter was 3 years old - so that when she started school she didn't have to answer any awkward questions about why she had a different name to her Mum - she doesn't know that we are not married, but it is not something that is a particular secret - it is just something that has never cropped up. When/if we do get married she will be a bridesmaid anyway so she will know for sure then!

    If you love your baby then it doesn't matter whether you are married/single/young/old - your love is what matters!
     

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