Could I have conceived and not implanted?

[Holdingthumbs]

Hi All,

I'm new to the site and first time posting, but just wanted to ask for advice and reassurance as I'm feeling low today.

I've just finished my 3rd cycle ttc (opk positive 21-22 March) and had been desperately waiting to test this morning (cycles just about regular at 25/26 days) but af arrived yesterday. At first I'd hoped it might be implantation spotting as it was initially brownish but definitely too heavy and bright red now. Tested anyway and negative. In previous cycles I'd just resigned myself to the fact that I hadn't been lucky and would keep trying next time, but I was so convinced I'd conceived this time round that it's confusing and upsetting.

As well as the usual pms symptoms of sore breasts, tiredness, headaches that I've had on every other month, this time round (starting from 27 March or about 5dpo onwards) I had the worst acne (which I don't usually suffer with), 2-3 days of intense lower back ache (which I don't get with af), struggling-to-walk-up-stairs level exhaustion (not just feeling tired) and the weirdest sensation in my lower abdomen - not cramping like I get every time with af, but what can only be described as a pulling or tweaking sensation, like someone was fiddling with an elastic band or stretching inside me, that kept me awake at night. As well as a stuffy nose and a weird feeling like yoghurt was stuck in my throat.

Has anyone else experienced anything similar? All the symptoms were so unlike anything I've ever experienced that I was certain it must have been implantation. But finding it difficult and disheartening that it clearly wasn't, and facing a teary weekend ahead.

I know I'm still new to the ttc process, and that others are facing much harder struggles, but any words of encouragement would be really appreciated. xx

 

[jazzsaxplayer]

This happened to me this month too - it's devastating and very emotionally confusing. If you think that only 30-40% of fertilised eggs actually go on to implant (I think they call it blighted ovum?) then it is likely that we may well have been pregnant but I'm trying not to convince myself of that too much and just focusing on TTC this cycle. It's so hard though isn't it. I've just been saying to myself that I should be grateful that I'm starting to have regular periods. In May 2011 I came off long-term contraception and have hardly had any periods.....had all the tests under the sun..... But finally a chance to TTC properly. I know it's hard but we stand the best chance of getting bfp if we keep emotionally balanced and relaxed (easier said than done) but if you can think of it
As starting afresh each cycle and I'm sure in no time your bfp will come x

 

[Syd43]

Hi Holdingthumbs and welcome. Unfortunately it's been my experience since starting ttc almost a year ago that my body has started doing all sorts of different things. I'm sure some of the "symptoms" I've experienced I have had before but just wasn't aware of them as I wasn't paying attention. However, I've definitely had a few things happen that are brand new and could definitely have been considered pregnancy symptoms, it's so frustrating because you really get your hopes up and it turns out to be nothing. I've seen many other ladies on this site also experience this.

I know it's not what you want to hear but you've only been trying a very short time. I think the stats say something like 70% of couples will conceive within six months and 85% conceive within a year, obviously this depends on age. How old are you?

Fingers crossed it happens quickly for you, good luck.

 

[Holdingthumbs]

Thank you so much both for listening. I know I'm still very new to this so should really feel more patient and positive, especially in light of what everyone else is going through. I've just found it so upsetting and disheartening after feeling so certain this time round. I guess managing hopes and expectations is part of the ttc process that I'll need to learn. As well as the hormone rollercoaster and debilitating cramps - I came off contraception after 15 years on the pill before Christmas (prescribed by my doctor to manage my pain and vomiting with af), so I suppose it makes this time of the month all the more depressing when it inevitably arrives.

Jassaxplayer, I'm so sorry to hear how much difficulty you've been having. Definitely puts my mood into perspective. It's great to hear your cycle is becoming more regular though and, as you say, will give you a new chance every month. Good luck - I'm crossing my fingers for you and really hope that your turn is just around the corner.

Syd43, I'm sure you're right and wishful thinking is definitely part of it. Perhaps I'd be less anxious if I didn't keep tracking and Googling everything. But it is very hard, as you say. I'm 30 and a bit. I've got everything crossed for you too - hopefully spring will be kind!

Xx

 

[Syd43]

To be honest I don't even think it's wishful thinking. I think when you start ttc changes take place in your body. I'm 44 and for sure new things have happened (took me a long time to meet the right man...). Your symptoms do sound very promising, I reqlly hope everything happens for you quickly. If it helps (probably not) the first few months I was ttc I felt like a crazy person with the symptom spotting but it does settle down. There are loads of great women on this forum with amazing advice.

 

[JD.Deedee]

The symptoms are due to a rise in oestrogen, which is normal in a normal cycle. Your body does prepare for pregnancy regardless whether it's going to be successful... An egg can be fertilised and something can go wrong whilst the cells are dividing or a failed implantation. I used to like to think that it's a natural way for your body to want to house a healthy egg that becomes a baby. I used to have short periods when ttc that we're building back up so to say and I'm sure I've felt a failed implantation before conceiving my son and cause I used to bleed so little in some of the months before that I used to think my uterus lining required some time to build back up after having had no period on the coil that I had in before ttc.

I remember wanting it so bad during that time, I think it's just a natural urge to have as a woman!

Sending you loads of baby dust for this cycle coming x