Controlled crying

Discussion in 'Baby & Toddler' started by cers123, Jan 14, 2016.

  1. cers123

    cers123 Well-Known Member

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    Hi I've done a good bit of research on this now and think it's time I implement this with my little boy who's 7 and a half months old

    I've a question though. What do I do about first putting him down. My little boy takes his supper the a bottle of 5 oz milk and goes to bed
    Now he falls asleep after he take his milk so I can't put him down drowsy.

    What do I do? How do I do it?
    Please help. I need sleep before I crash and burn :(
     
  2. Shepherdess

    Shepherdess Well-Known Member

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    When I did CC I put my lg down when she was half asleep. There was no other option as she got sleepy on the boob.

    Good luck! Only took 2 nights to work for us so I hope it does for you to!
     
  3. rilolou

    rilolou Member

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    Sorry but I think there has to be another way.
    Is he tired when he's being put to bed or are you deciding his bedtime for him?
    I have a 1 year old and a 2 year old and I probably have had a full nights sleep about 10 times in the past 2 years.
    I could have done cc, but I just don't agree with it.
    I don't think teaching a baby to cry itself to sleep is teaching them
    Anything, other than nobody comes when they cry.
    My daughter still has bad nights where she just wants to be held to sleep and that's just what I do when she needs it.
    No big deal, she will grow out of it.
     
    #3 rilolou, Jan 14, 2016
    Last edited: Jan 14, 2016
  4. ShowingPromise

    ShowingPromise Well-Known Member

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    I don't agree with cc either but the op isn't asking for opinions on cc as a method, they have obviously chosen to go down this route so let's let them get on with it and take advice from those that have tried it.
     
  5. russellmuscle

    russellmuscle Well-Known Member

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    Before anything kicks off, this is not a forum to badger anyone's parenting views. Cers123 has asked for some advice on a parenting method that you don't agree with or haven't used so I don't see why you would comment?

    A number of threads have been closed due to this before over the past couple of weeks, and should it go that way again I will report it to the mod because quite frankly Im fed up with this argument now.

    This place is a good, supportive place to be - if you don't want to be supportive please don't comment.

    Whilst it may not be a big deal to you to hold your child to sleep, that is your parenting choice - please don't make some one feel like they aren't doing the right thing because its not your parenting style. The OP has says she has done some research and has probably came across a number of different pros and cons to it and has still decided this is what may work best for her and her little boy - not you and your child.

    Play nice ladies :)

    No first hand experience on CC Cers, but hope you find the answers your looking for - please don't be offended at some of the comments that appear on here, as you may have seen over the past couple of weeks when it comes to CC, some people can't help themselves.

    Good luck! Hope you and your boy get some sleep soon.

    xxxx
     
    #5 russellmuscle, Jan 14, 2016
    Last edited: Jan 14, 2016
  6. rilolou

    rilolou Member

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    I commented because I believe there must be another way? Maybe if she lets us know his routine, what he is like through the day, what she's already tried we can come up with some better methods to help both him and her.
     
  7. Lulu90

    Lulu90 Well-Known Member

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    CC has worked perfectly for both me and Luca. He would prefer to be rocked to sleep but I'm tiny and he weighs 22lb and I just can't physically rock him and bouncer/swing doesn't do it for him. Luca has bath/bottle/bed time story with a cuddle. I put him down when he's nodding off but 9 times out of 10 his eyes pop open once I put him down. More often than not he'll just grumble and then nod off, but we have the occasional night where he cries for a couple of minutes. In the beginning it was anywhere between 5-10. I wouldn't let him carry on for more than 10 and definitely wouldn't have if there were tears rolling down his face (thankfully never had tears), if he cried for that length of time I'd pick him up, say shhhh and give him his mussie (muslin) and then put him down again. Took a few days but I persevered for my own sanity. Some of my friends 2 and 3 year olds still have to be rocked/cuddled to sleep, I just personally didn't want to get into that habit. I don't feel like Luca feels he's any less loved. Good luck and keep us posted with your progress xx
     
  8. russellmuscle

    russellmuscle Well-Known Member

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    As I have says in my post that's YOUR parenting choice. I don't really think its our business to decide whats a "BETTER" parenting choice and that comment is exactly what I mean.

    Its your opinion that there is a better way - and I think opposing that on some one who has already made the decision and is looking for advice on the matter, then it really has nothing to do with you the childs routine etc - thats not what she asked.

    I wont go back and forward on here because I did not want an argument or into trouble, I am just letting people who don't agree with CC don't post, because certain ways that views are put can be extremely upsetting.

    How would you like someone suggesting a "better" way for you to care for your child? You wouldn't and I am sure neither would the OP.

    xxxx
     
    #8 russellmuscle, Jan 14, 2016
    Last edited: Jan 14, 2016
  9. rilolou

    rilolou Member

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    I'm sure everyone would agree that controlled crying
    Is a last resort (for some) and that they would be happy to try another way? And therefore be open to advice?
     
  10. nicky1987

    nicky1987 Well-Known Member

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    I don't know if it's an option for you but when we did controlled crying we did bath, story in her bedroom with dimmed lighting and then put her to bed with her bottle of milk. She cried 10 minutes each night for 3 nights and has happily gone to bed since. In fact she asks to go to bed now and sings herself to sleep!

    It is hard and heartbreaking to hear them upset, but it's not them upset because they are Poorly or need you its because quite simply they don't want to go to bed! Do what you need to do, if it works great if it doesn't then there are always other methods out there x
     
  11. russellmuscle

    russellmuscle Well-Known Member

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    Everyone does not agree with this, most yes explore CC when they are out of options, but the OP does not need or owe it to anyone on here to explain what she has done or not with her child yet.

    And as I says, over the last few weeks - nearly all of these threads have turned sour and closed. It be a shame for someone looking for genuine advice not to get that because people have apposing views.

    The first line was "I have did a good bit of research" that should be enough.

    I am not saying your not allowed to disagree with that method, but its your opinion and when giving advice re parenting, or "better" ways of parenting I think it can often come across as quite hurtful or judgemental.

    As I say I am just letting you know, as you seem new. And we have already lost a few members from being banned due to arguments in such threads as these.

    xxxx
     
  12. rilolou

    rilolou Member

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    So there are other methods out there, yet you would choose the one thats in your own words, heartbreaking and hard?
     
  13. russellmuscle

    russellmuscle Well-Known Member

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    Again, making mothers feel bad when there is no need.

    No one wants to hear their child upset but I dont think CC is entered into lightly either and don't feel it deserves a negative input.

    If you don't like it, go on an anti CC forum and converse with like minded people :)

    xxxx
     
  14. Wobbles

    Wobbles Well-Known Member

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    It's just baby2sky who thinks she has the right to push her opinions by flaming trolling the forum & it's members with her anti views lacking respect for other peoples parenting methods :rolleyes:

    A little reminder of the forum rules:
    Onwards with the thread staying on topic please and if you don't feel you can offer support please consider moving on to topics where you feel you can offer constructive advice.

    Thanks all <3
     
  15. cers123

    cers123 Well-Known Member

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    I've tried cuddling to sleep but when he's wakening most nights every hour and a half and the past 3 nights up every half an hour. He's not sleeping at all during the day and not in any form. I'm in no form I've another wee boy at 2 n a half and I'm at a loss. My HV has said try cc but I am still waiting too meet with her to go over it.

    I'm confused by CC. At night as soon as he feeds I should put him down and then wen he wake should I not feed him? I know he's probably not hungry I'd say when he wakes around 4 it 5 he myt b hungry but going to bed at 7 on a full stomach and wakening at 8 9 10 n 11 is a joke.

    He's exhausted I'm exhausted. I'm ready for a mental break down
     
  16. Rooster30

    Rooster30 Well-Known Member

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    Maybe try offering something else at the subsequent wake ups? my mum used to give me water in the night at about that age.

    You both must be so so tired :-(
     
  17. ShowingPromise

    ShowingPromise Well-Known Member

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    If he's taking a full feed at 7 and waking at 8 then I doubt he's hungry. Does he feed well and regularly the rest of the day? Is he on solids?
    You can try feeding again the first time he wakes to see if he will go longer and try an alternative if that doesn't work?
     
  18. russellmuscle

    russellmuscle Well-Known Member

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  19. Lulu90

    Lulu90 Well-Known Member

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    I was just about to ask is he on solids? Luca is the same and has completely dropped naps, it's a fight to get him to sleep for even 15 mins during the day, so by night time he's so exhausted he just doesn't know what to do with himself. If he wakes up that soon after a bottle I very much doubt he's hungry. Could you add another oz to his last feed? Is he possibly too hot or too cold? Luca was waking during the night and I realised he was cold so he now wears a long sleeved vest, babygrow and 2.5 sleeping bag. I mean, it's worth a shot, you being exhausted is not going to benefit your lo's. You really do have my sympathy. It's also exhausting having to listen to people's criticism when they don't have to live your life. You know your baby best. Maybe give it 3 days and see how he gets on and if nothing maybe we can come together again and see if we can help in any way. If I were you I'd start tonight with a nice warm bath, I feed Luca in the dark, he's so nosey that he'd just look around even if I had a dim light on. If he's wide awake I put his glow worm on for him, does your lo have one or something similar? I honestly wish you the best of luck xx
     
    #19 Lulu90, Jan 14, 2016
    Last edited: Jan 14, 2016
  20. tinselcat

    tinselcat Well-Known Member

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    I'm not a formula feeder so I may be missing something here, but why can't you put him down drowsy?

    As far as I know that's almost ideal, if he's sleepy and then manages to go off in his cot? because that is the first step towards self-soothing etc.


    There are different forms of cc out there, and the 3 medical professionals I spoke with all had different ideas of how to implement it:

    My doctor said: go back to baby every 30 seconds when he's crying
    One HV said: go back to baby every 2 minutes, don't pick up, and do this for as long as it takes
    Another HV (also a paediatric nurse) said: go back first time after 5 minutes, second time after 10 minutes (when I told my doctor this advice however she was horrified!)

    They did recommend waiting until baby was a certain age (past 9 or 10 months I think) so it may be harder to do at 7.5 months? And also the HVs said that if you think baby is hungry, feed him.

    Personally even if baby is crying I would comfort them through/over the top of the cot, just not pick them up out of it. My baby quickly started snuggling up to Ewan the Dream Sheep on his white noise setting on the 2nd day.
     

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