controlled crying

Discussion in 'Baby & Toddler' started by mrs v, Aug 4, 2013.

  1. mrs v

    mrs v Well-Known Member

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    So as most of you will know my lo does not sleep, nor does he self settle. I have always been against controlled crying but I am now at the stage where I really feel I have no other option.

    Tonight I put him down and went in after 2 mins shhh then after 4 mins and so on, after half hour he had fallen asleep. I know I have to stick with this now, and am dreading tonight...I plan on not giving him a bottle as I usually do as by rights he shouldn't need it now at nearly 11 months old.

    So do any of you have any advice...did it work? How long did it take? I know this isn't going to be easy but for our own sanity we need to at least try it as we are both absolutely worn out.

    Thanks in advance!
     
    #1 mrs v, Aug 4, 2013
    Last edited: Aug 4, 2013
  2. MrsT2011

    MrsT2011 Well-Known Member

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    Hey Hun we did a form of cc after exhausting all avenues but we got help from the professionals first. I'm happy to share the basics with you -
    No milk, night lights, dummy's etc.
    No talking, holding, rocking
    Stick to a regular routine
    Don't bother with timings - if lo is laying down having a moan, cry they are fine but if they are standing up crying and screaming its time to go in and lay them back down.
    Get support - I made my hubby be the "baddy" by stopping me going in.
    Allow 3/4 nights - keep a sleep log so if t doesn't work you may be able to see a pattern.
    Stick to the same person going in for the 4 nights.
    Don't do it if lo is ill or has a temperature.

    It's really important that you have hubby's support as I was crying my eyes out and it worked for us after 1 night! The second night I put B to bed at 7 and he didn't wake till 5! Mega shock as we hadn't slept more than 2 hours solid for 2 months!

    Hope that helps - I now a lot of people are anti cc but my lo was suffering from lack of sleep, I was so tired the HV thought it best I was signed off work as I wasn't safe. I forgot to secure Bs car seat one morning and that was it I knew I needed help. I'll point out my husband did every night feed with me so i Had support just no sleep!
     
  3. mrs v

    mrs v Well-Known Member

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    Thank you so much for the response, I know a lot of people are against cc, I was one of them but we really have exhausted everything. That has firmed things up in my head, hubby has been warned and is on board with it, I think he sees it as the best option and has said he will support me through the tough nights.

    See I'm up at least twice a night as things stand, I really hope this being cruel to be kind works! Wish me luck :)
     
  4. Lynds77

    Lynds77 Well-Known Member

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    good luck!!! Cant wait to hear how you got on in the morning. Fingers in your ear and hum a happy tune. x
     
  5. leesey

    leesey Well-Known Member

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    I'm sorry I know you think you've explored all avenues but I must again express how much you should NOT do controlled crying. I know I've said all this before to you, but it's not just a case of 'some people are against it' but the evidence that controlled crying damages brain development is overwhelming. Please do not make this your nightly routine.

    I'm not just someone saying I don't agree with it, I've actually done postgraduate research projects on it, and there are colleagues I can put you in touch with who have PhDs in this area, one of whom has studied it for the last 23 years. Please please please discontinue this new routine straight away!! I know each to their own and all that but you were against it for a reason, please don't give in xx
     
  6. Em91

    Em91 Well-Known Member

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    wss ^^ Your lo will sleep through in their own time! Surely sleepless nights are better than risking the increased chance of behavioural and attachment difficulties for the rest of their life! Very few 2 year olds dont sleep through the night...


    Using tapatalk can't see tickers
     
  7. Lolly85x

    Lolly85x Well-Known Member

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    My LO is 12 months old, and if he were to wake for some milk I'd still give him it? Lots of babies still need a night feed, and don't all just sleep through.
    I know being tired is very stressful, but at such a young age he might not be ready to sleep through the night.
    Maybe there's other things you could try 1st...xxx
     
  8. Gayle30

    Gayle30 Well-Known Member

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    Awe what a situation. I feel for you. Im lucky and have a sleeper. Shes always been amazing. But lately we have had a few rough nights (10months old so hit the 9mth sleep regression) and I had to do a night feed. I was like a zombie as believe me its hard to take when your so not used to it. Ive got zero chance of ever doing cc. I do tough love and dont mollycoddle but when she properly cries I pick her up, give her a cuddle, feed her or whatever.

    But I get from your other thread That A simply wont sleep. Good luck with what ever you decide. Xx
    tapatalking
     
  9. MrsT2011

    MrsT2011 Well-Known Member

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    Believe me I'm not an advocate for cc but it was much calmer and less tears than B was enduring before - he would scream and cry hysterically for hours if picked up to the point he would be sick and having breathing problems, I deleted the video of it as I'm too distressed to ever see that again. I'm not exaggerating to say he would wake every 1/2 hour - 45 minutes and I was making 7 bottles a night. I agree that 1 or 2 feeds a night is fine and I'd be happy to do that but I think we are maybe an extreme case.

    Sorry I feel the need to justify my parenting.
     
  10. BUGGY82

    BUGGY82 Well-Known Member

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    Good luck with it and stick to it now you've started. It only takes a couple of days and then they have no trouble getting to sleep on there own. I don't believe it's damaging to them as its such a short time doing it and my little one is perfectly happy, more settled and content because he's sleeping longer and has a rested mum.
     
  11. mrs v

    mrs v Well-Known Member

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    Well it worked...he woke up once for 3 mins only cried and back to sleep.

    I'm sorry some of you don't agree with what I have done. He is currently talking to himself in his cot and does not seem distressed one bit.
    We have both finally slept wayhey!!!
     
  12. Claire123

    Claire123 Well-Known Member

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    Happy it worked hun :) as someone said as long as its not a long term solution I dont see the harm in it. Hopefully things will continue to improve xx

    Sent from my GT-I9300 using Tapatalk 2
     
  13. Les1504

    Les1504 Well-Known Member

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    You should never be made to feel like you have to justify your parenting Hun. B is amazing, healthy and excelling in his development! Sounds to me like your parenting skills are spot on x
     
  14. MrsT2011

    MrsT2011 Well-Known Member

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    Bless you thank you les, I know he's absolutely fine I was just getting defensive.

    Mrs v - wahoo! X
     
  15. Roo3

    Roo3 Well-Known Member

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    My 2 year old doesn't sleep through the night.

    Didn't you lo just turn 1? So how do you know very few 2 year old dont sleep through the night?
     
  16. Les1504

    Les1504 Well-Known Member

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    Yey! Well done Archie! I bet you feel refreshed today- hope it continues Hun x
     
  17. knopk@

    [email protected] Well-Known Member

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    Glad its worked for you, didnt for us but he sleeps through now on his own accord (2 in Sept).

    Tapatalking so cant see signatures
     
  18. Roo3

    Roo3 Well-Known Member

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    So glad he's slept for you.

    Just on a slightly different note, no one should ever be made to feel they have to justify the choices we make a parents. We are all just trying to do our best by our children and surely we should be supporting each other not making people feel bad.
     
  19. mrs v

    mrs v Well-Known Member

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    Thanks ladies, it really wasnt an easy decision to make, and I really did exhaust everything, if I thought archie was at all too distressed by it I wouldn't continue, you get to know your babys cry. It was just impacting on everything, which caused rows and grumpy tired parents, I had to give this a go. I'm not saying tonight will go as smoothly or be easy but I am going to continue and be consistent with this. Again apologies if by doing this I am upsetting anyone x
     
    #19 mrs v, Aug 5, 2013
    Last edited: Aug 5, 2013
  20. Gayle30

    Gayle30 Well-Known Member

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    Gosh dont apologise-nobody expects that. Im super glad he slept for you hun. Maybe this is just what he needed. Fingers crossed and good luck tonight. Xx

    tapatalking
     

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