Controlled crying...is it the answer?

We did something similar to cc but in our case it was a last resort after 2 months of hell. Also the cc was calmer than the screams we got when we picked him up. Because we kept going into B every time he cried it got to the point that he couldn't settle without us there and then couldn't settle with us there!
It really was awful and cc has been the only thing that worked. Things were so bad that both the nursery nurse that had been working with us and the osteopath were going to refer him to a sleep specialist. Cranial osteopathy really helped but every night we still have to listen to him have a little cry before going to sleep and every morning he cries when he wakes.
 
I honestly think it just depends on the child! I never used to leave Meri to cry. Went in to settle her as soon as she cried. But then I noticed that she would make a crying sound then wait a minute then try a different sobbing sound and then quiet again! Little monkey wasn't actually crying she was just making the right noises so I would go and see her! Ha ha. So now I leave her for a while and generally she goes quiet and drops off.

She seemed to learn that she just had to make a noise and mummy would come running.

I have to say though I have only started leaving her recently and she is 1 next week. I think there's a time when they get clever and can get in to bad habits. I always try and be 1 step ahead of her craft little ways. He he.

Can see why cc isn't for everyone though. I couldn't leave her to cry when she was tiny it broke my heart!

My wee man is only three and a half months and I'm sure he does things like this already! When I lay him down half asleep he'll kick his legs and kind of pop one eye open and look at me. When he sees I'm still there, he'll do it again until gradually he realises mummy won't pick him up!

I don't think I'd ever end up doing controlled crying. My LO is not one for crying when you put him down in bed. He'll either just nod off, do the leg thing or sit there wide eyed like 'sleeps for wimps mummy!' He doesn't cry, just doesn't sleep! He only cries if I try to put him down when somethings wrong.
 
I think as mums we know our babies best and what works for them. If the cry is a whingy cry then I tend to leave her but stay out of view and see what happens. If it lasts longer than a few mins then I try and rock her etc.
If the cry is a full on cry then I definitely don't leave her.

Having said that when my sister was 8 months she started waking every hour and crying. She wasn't hungry, just out of habit. One day my mum decided to let her cry it out. She cried for 20mins solid then slept. Next day cried for 10mins and then after that stopped waking up in the night to cry. No long term damage done.

In my opinion there are lots of effective parenting techniques that work for some and not others and those that seem harsher and softer. I would hate to ever judge another mum on the technique she chooses to use.
X
 
I think as mums we know our babies best and what works for them. If the cry is a whingy cry then I tend to leave her but stay out of view and see what happens. If it lasts longer than a few mins then I try and rock her etc.
If the cry is a full on cry then I definitely don't leave her.

Having said that when my sister was 8 months she started waking every hour and crying. She wasn't hungry, just out of habit. One day my mum decided to let her cry it out. She cried for 20mins solid then slept. Next day cried for 10mins and then after that stopped waking up in the night to cry. No long term damage done.

In my opinion there are lots of effective parenting techniques that work for some and not others and those that seem harsher and softer. I would hate to ever judge another mum on the technique she chooses to use.
X

I completely agree. Just because it doesn't work or suit one person doesn't mean it won't be good for another. I don't like people that judge other ppls parenting methods. There's far too much of that now a days. We are all different after all x
 
There are so many ways to approach it. T has never been a cuddly baby and has fallen asleep on me, without boob, only once or twice. WE tried the pick up put down method for a while, but it didn't work. If we pick her up in her cot when she's crying she gets worse, not better. So we'd just distract her and start again. Our phases lasted only a week or so. We didn't do CC or anything, but much like Spammy and FBE, just played it by ear each time. If she's whingeing, I leave her to it and she usually calms down. She rarely cries now when being put to bed and has only really done it when she is in a leap. I hope it passes for you soon. xxx
 
Karen Amelie is exactly like that.
Never fallen asleep on me or while feeding and if she cries and you pick her she cries even more...
Me picking her while she cries is mostly because I feel the need to do it rather than she needs it :shock:
I suppose I am damn lucky that she self settled since 12 weeks old (with a little help at the beginning like patting her bum) as I am not able to resist her cry.if she whines now (that I don't think she did more than a couple of times) in her bed she stays until she either settles or starts getting distressed.
 
I don't agree with cc and don't think it is ever the answer, h was a terrible sleeper and was up every hour some nights untill he was 16 months old. Then one day he just wanted to go to sleep on his own and slept through from 7 till 5.30-6.30. I think every child does it in their own time. I'm not going to lie sometimes dh and I debated leaving him to CIO but we never did and don't plan to with the twins either!
Xxx
 
Sorry I didn't explain myself very well. What I mean is T isn't the type of child I could rock to sleep, he never has been as he's never been very cuddly, he might sit for 10 secs if your lucky. He will also roll about in his cot and not sleep sometimes if I stay and stroke his head or sing to him.

For some children cc is more effective but others that respond well to mummy or daddy staying there and they will go off to sleep, then there's absolutely no need for cc
Xx

This is our issue, C is a cuddly baby only really when he wakes up.... He shouts for me or hubby from his cot and he has generally been up for 10/15 minutes gurgling away and playing with monkey.

If C has refused a nap all day I can sometimes rock him to sleep at around 4pm.... Otherwise I have no hope of rocking him. So I feed him, put his sleeping bag on rock him gently whilst his little music thingy plays and then pop him down awake, sometimes he cries other times he will snuggle into me and then go down quietly.... It really depends on if I have caught the window of opportunity.

Now that C is nearly one CC doesn't seem as brutal, I personally couldn't do it when he was tiny, and I didn't need to as he settled easily after a feed. Xx


 
Karen Amelie is exactly like that.
Never fallen asleep on me or while feeding and if she cries and you pick her she cries even more...
Me picking her while she cries is mostly because I feel the need to do it rather than she needs it :shock:
I suppose I am damn lucky that she self settled since 12 weeks old (with a little help at the beginning like patting her bum) as I am not able to resist her cry.if she whines now (that I don't think she did more than a couple of times) in her bed she stays until she either settles or starts getting distressed.

What is with that surely is picking them up should calm them not make them more irate!!? Xx


 
We're much the same as FBE.. Usually Ethan has a little whine to himself before he goes to sleep and I just leave him to it. But if he does get properly upset, then I go in and settle him. Ethan isn't a cuddly baby whatsoever, if I pick him up from the cot he goes mental! xx
 
Thank you so much ladies for you replies. Tonight Finn had a bf and he usually goes to sleep but he's stopped doing that so... We read a couple of stories and then I put him into bed. He screamed but I cuddled and stayed with him. He was ok but eventually had a meltdown so I ended up feeding him again (far too hot for crying too much). He then fell asleep. I am awaiting his first wake up of the evening!!xx
 
kK i think its the release of all emotions when they get picked, like omg mummy is here and at the same time i am so sleepy but i cant sleep but i am sleepy so why you pick me instead of helping me sleep??

i think both tilly and amelie love sleeping and nap quite ok and self settle too so when sth happens and they can't do it for whatever reason it seems weird to them to get them away from their bed instead of helping them sleep as they know very weel that sleep happens only in bed and they never slept in our arms etc.

thats my theory anyway lol.

amelie often cries more when she is picked (during the awake times too) and i ut that down during the day as letting all the emotions go. i think its actually a normal thing as adults too tend to cry more when comforted?
 
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I'm reading this thread with interest. I always thought I might try cc as I have health issues and Harry not sleeping can make me feel a lot worse, but now I'm not so sure I could do it - I mean, the poor little thing is probably having teething pain, so I would feel too awful to let him cry. I think as long as things aren't too horrendous then I will leave cc until Harry is a bit older.... It will be hard though as I'm struggling a lot with my health xx
 
Just to add we didn't do cc until lo was a year old. He's now 2 and I do it whenever I feel it necessary to help us all get a decent nights sleep.
 
Jeeewizzzz they still wake in the night at 2???? Aghh!!!!! Was assuming past 1year they decide its time for early nights and late risings! Oh no!!!

I decided a long time ago cc wasn't for me, mainly because from breast feeding your told 'build a bond' the second they are born its 'skin to skin' your told to have lots of cuddles and closeness and build your babies trust.... Then leave them cry?! It just goes against everything I have built with B! Maybe it's also because B isn't a crying baby, she only ever cries if there is something wrong, as in hurt herself, in pain, woken up, bad dreams etc and that's when she needs me there as I always do!!

I do also understand for some mummy's cc is the way forward and it does work for them.....but as with everything with babies and mummy's it always depends on the individual!!!

X
 
Whenever Phoebe has been through rough patches of sleeping when she was little this blog has helped me every time http://nurshable.com/2012/07/19/the-wio-wait-it-out-method-of-sleep-training/ well worth a read to help you feel better about the sleepless nights.
I've never tried CIO or CC xxx

Man I love this. Made me feel guilty though for the times I' e put him down and he's cried when I'm trying to get bits done. It's beautiful. Thanks for that. Xx

Aww don't feel guilty we all do our best and need to get the little things done, it just can't be helped sometimes xxx

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