Constant whinging/crying/tantrums- 14 months old

Discussion in 'Baby & Toddler' started by Toni.C, Apr 25, 2016.

  1. Toni.C

    Toni.C Well-Known Member

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    I'm desperately seeking some advice now as I'm so fed up :(

    My little one has always been a very happy and contented little boy,until he turned 11 months old. Everyday is a battle of wills and I'm finding it so hard, I feel like I'm coming to the end of my tether. He whinges all day, at the top of his lungs a constant drone, I can't leave the room even with daddy or nanny with him he will cry and whinge until I'm back, when we go shopping he cannot go in the trolley as despite the fact i strap him in he will turn around and try to climb out so one person takes the buggy and the other the trolley which is fine but after 30 seconds he will scream and cry to get out. An hour in waitrose on Saturday resulted in many people staring and commenting at us. So we get him out and he wants to get down but he can hardly walk :wall2:,nappy changes he will scream and cry and kick. He also scratches and hits too and when I say no he laughs at me. I'm fully aware this is probably down to his development and he won't understand being told off/corrected but I need some help desperately! Last night a 40 minute drive resulted in him shouting the whole way there so I had to pull over as I couldn't concentrate with the noise :shock::shock:

    He happily plays in the day on his own and with me, he also is very good with food and sleeps all night too.
     
    #1 Toni.C, Apr 25, 2016
    Last edited: Apr 25, 2016
  2. KeelyT90

    KeelyT90 Well-Known Member

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    My little one has been the same too. Absolute nightmare at times, to the point I have sat on the stairs crying my eyes out! Now he's just turned 2 and terrible 2's have set in. I'd like to say it gets easier but so far I can't.
    We have introduced the naughty chair from around 18 months and he gets put on there for ignorance, crying for no reason, hitting etc and he will cry but as soon as he stops we say he can come off the chair and he creeps over for a cuddle. He has to the count of 3 to stop what he's doing or else he is punished.

    Discipline is the key I think. I struggle now, he tests me more than my OH. When he's crying for nothing I say no and he kicks off and tantrums, my OH says no firmly and he stops. They just think us mums are push overs, which we are though. Maybe speak to your HV next time you're due to see her or call her for a chat?

    Also, with my LO, people always say to me, he only plays up when I am around. If I leave him somewhere he has a little whinge then is good as gold until I turn up again and he's causing a scene x
     
    #2 KeelyT90, Apr 25, 2016
    Last edited: Apr 25, 2016
  3. Toni.C

    Toni.C Well-Known Member

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    Thank you for your reply keely, it's nice to know it's not just me struggling as it can feel so isolating some times! X
     
  4. KeelyT90

    KeelyT90 Well-Known Member

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    I feel your pain. I personally think you just need a break for a night, some you time. I don't get it often unless his dad has him overnight but I appreciate the break. I know he cries all the time but it wont hurt them. If anything, he comes home knackered and sleeps through! A rare thing my Little boy does lol.

    It's frustrating, I have been bad with anxiety recently and really down. And I know I sound awful saying it but its because being a mum is so testing. Baby is frustrated as they can't communicate like they wish they could & they just want to explore.

    My therapist asks me if I do any social activities on a weekly basis and I say " God know, if I went for a meal with my son he would scream the place down" but he tells me I need to let him so he gets use to social situations & I learn to cope with it instead of isolating myself x
     
  5. GF91

    GF91 Well-Known Member

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    My LO is 14 months too & the real tantrums have started. She's throwing herself forwards or backwards onto the floor screaming incosolably. She wants you to pick her up but if you do she throws herself backwards & wants to get back on the floor but if you put her down she starts the whole cycle again. She doesn't hit but she's pulls on clothes and has nipped me a few times on my leg if I don't pick her up when she wants picking up. OH literally has to get up dressed and out the door in the morning, if he spends anytime with her when he goes to leave she throws a proper tantrum. The weekend was enough for me, OH went to the shop and she screamed and went to throw herself backwards- I just gentley lowered her to the floor (so she didn't smash her head) & stepped over her & carried on what I was doing. She screamed for 2 minutes, picked herself up and went off to play. Im just not rising to it anymore, if I do it makes her 10000% worse xxx
     
  6. Toni.C

    Toni.C Well-Known Member

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    GF91 she sounds very similar to Alfie! I've started to ignore it too, I've got my mum staying at the moment too and I have to tell her and my OH to just ignore it, as much as they want to pick him up.

    Keely we try to go out but I find it so stressful and dread going out for lunch or even nipping to the shop. Sigh. I suppose this is the warm up before the terrible twos arrive! X
     
  7. luratraloora

    luratraloora Well-Known Member

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    I can relate to this alot and unfortunately still there now... in the terrible 2's but I know how to handle it better.

    We still suffer a lot of meltdowns like when I leave the room or Im not giving her attention for a moment i.e. Im washing up. Around 16 months she went through a phase of breath holding when she was having a tantrum to the point she would hold her breath and pass out. That has now stopped. We also went through a head banging stage at 18-20 months when she was told off or having a tantrum. We just ignored them as it was an attention thing as she would do it and then want affection - that has now stopped too.

    We do the time out now and I warn her with it and if she carries on I put her in it, regardless where I am, I sit her down and face her away from me for a minute. She doesnt like it but it works. When time is up I explain what she did, she says sorry and we hug and then its sorted and we move on.

    Ive found discipline is the best way forward.


     

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