Confused and frustrated

Discussion in 'First Trimester' started by penelope28, Aug 12, 2016.

  1. penelope28

    penelope28 New Member

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    Hello! Any help and advice on this one would be greatly appreciated... as Im an expat living in Thailand, the medical care is very different and along with language barriers and not terribly kind or empathetic Drs.
    The date of my first day of last period was 15th may. Pregnancy scan on the 29th July showed empty womb.. no pregnancy. 7th July was a positive home pregnancy test. 25th July ultrasound showed gestational sac, 6th Aug showed grown gestational sac but still no baby. 11th Aug ... ultrasound shows 3cm sac and 2mm baby, no heartbeat.
    My Dr has diagnosed an inevitable miscarriage and estimates pregnancy to be 8weeks... as he is literally going by my last period date? He went into awful details about what was going to happen miscarrying, and when I asked him if he is sure he said almost definitely.. no empathy just extremely medical.
    However the dr who performed the last ultrasound advised pregnancy is possibly normal but only 5weeks??
    When questioned, it seems neither dr consults with the other.
    I have been given two weeks before follow up appointment in which he 'is sure' miscarriage will happen.
    Does anyone have anything to add or possibly help me with this one? Hugely in limbo and it's an awful feeling:(
     
  2. KateK

    KateK Well-Known Member

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    Oh bless you, i'm so sorry you're going through this so far from home.. I can't imagine how tough it is. I haven't experienced anything similar myself but i've heard of people who have thought they were a certain number of weeks and have been put back 2 or 3 weeks due to ovulation dates being way out etc. It certainly sounds like there is still hope as whoever is in there is progressing.. I sincerely hope your next check up reveals more but 2 weeks is an awful long time when you're in a situation like this :( Sending my love and best wishes xx
     
  3. BunnyN

    BunnyN Well-Known Member

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    My guess is that the doctor who said there was still hope was going by the ultrasounds alone and hoping you were just not as far along as you thought and the second doctor was taking dates into account. Because you got a positive test on the 7th of July you must be at least close to 8 weeks and by then the development and heartbeat on an ultrasound should be obvious. Because of the dates I dont think there is much hope but I really hope I am wrong. I know women are sometimes told they are having a MC and things turn out fine. As long as the baby is growing it seems like there is a tiny bit of hope but I don't want to get your hopes up falsely.

    So sorry you are going through this and that the doctors have not been sympathetic. I had a loss at 10 weeks and it is heartbreaking. Knowing what to expect from the physical side is not nice to think about but really can be helpful because its a bit scary when you don't know what to expect and what is normal. Some doctors give no information at all about what to expect so it was good the doctor explained to you he could just have shown some empathy and it is confusing when docs are giving you different info. Because the development of the pregnancy is still quite early you might not have such a hard time physically. It does vary a lot from woman to woman.

    Hugs.
     
    #3 BunnyN, Aug 12, 2016
    Last edited: Aug 12, 2016
  4. penelope28

    penelope28 New Member

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    Thankyou both for your replies and taking the time to do so.... it's always comforting to hear kind words. I'll keep this thread updated xxxxx
     
  5. BunnyN

    BunnyN Well-Known Member

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    The MC may start on its own but in some cases it can take several weeks after the baby has stopped growing, especially when you are early on. If you don't start before then when you go back in two weeks if the ultrasound confirms the baby hasnt grown they may offer you tablets to kick start the bleeding. Some women prefer a d&c over a natural MC. Two weeks is so long for you to wait not knowing what is going on. Limbo is horrid. When I went for a scan after spotting the ultrasound confirmed right away that the baby had died. I would have given anything for a different outcome but it did give me a sense of relief to know what was going on too. Waiting for two weeks is going to be so hard for you. Let us know how you get on.
     
    #5 BunnyN, Aug 12, 2016
    Last edited: Aug 12, 2016
  6. Lulu1983

    Lulu1983 Well-Known Member

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    That sounds terribly stressful! Do you have a support network there? Local or other ex-pat?

    I've just been diagnosed with PUL (pregnancy of unknown location), and don't know if it's wrong dates or a miscarriage, so I have some idea of what it's like. I've never lived in Thailand, but I lived in Japan and Kenya. Anything's hard in a different culture and without a good support network.

    Is it private medical care there? Could you request an earlier scan?

    I wish I could actually help, but the best I can do is hope. For both of us. x
     
  7. penelope28

    penelope28 New Member

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    Thanks again Ladies... I do have a good support network here thankfully. I always at some point have family visiting and good friends. They will come into play if things go wrong as we haven't told anyone yet (my husband and I)
    Actually the Dr gave me the choice of a return appointment and I went for the 2 weeks to give time for growth or otherwise... as it's so disheartening having these unclear ultrasounds.. however after reading these positions may reconsider an earlier scan?
    BunnyN I totally understand the sense of relief it would have been and lulu1983 please let me know how you get on.. wishing you luck.
    Katek thankyou once again for your kind words...
    Watch this space and I'll keep it updated.
    Xxxxxx
     

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