Confirmed MC

Discussion in 'Coping with Miscarriage & Loss' started by Bellarina, Sep 9, 2016.

  1. Bellarina

    Bellarina Well-Known Member

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    Hi girls
    Well after bleeding heavily on Wednesday morning and being sent to the hospital a blood test confirmed I had miscarried the baby. I was 5.5 weeks.
    I am devastated and can't stop crying (apart from when I'm putting a brave face on for our little boy).
    The hospital said we wouldn't need to wait to try again...but I'm so confused...can you ov after the mc bleed or would we have to wait for next af ?
    Not even fully sure il be ready straight away but would be nice to know what to expect
    Xxxx
     
  2. snowbee

    snowbee Well-Known Member

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    I'm sorry for your loss Bella. Most ladies will ov as normal (or within a few days of normal) if you count the first day of bleeding as CD1. It is possible that it takes longer, for me mc really messed with my body and I didn't ov afterwards at all and I had to have a bleed induced to reset my system. As for being ready only you can decide that, some people like to take longer to process and let your body heal first, others like to crack on with ttc. We started ttc again right away after each of our losses (although my body had other plans and refused to ov at all) but mentally we were ready. It is ok to grieve, don't feel bad for being upset. Big hugs x
     
  3. 5Element

    5Element Well-Known Member

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    Ohhh Bella:shock::oooo: I am so so sorry to read this. TimTam also told me. I so hope the pain passes quickly and you can look forward. Big big hugs to you hunny. Xxxxx
    Everything else i am afraid i cant help you on. After my first mc i didnt have an AF but got my second bfp. Sadly this little bean didnt stick but 3 months wait to tcc later we now have our (not so small) bean now! Big hug xxxxx
     
  4. Bellarina

    Bellarina Well-Known Member

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    Thank you girls. I don't think people really understand a mc unless they have been affected by one. To me I have lost a baby...regardless of the fact I wasmt far along. We really want another baby as soon as possible but I don't know how I'll personally feel if i get a bfp whether there will be an element of guilt or anything. All I know is at the moment in just taking it an hour at a time on a day by day basis. I only started bleeding wed and it wasn't even like I started spotting . Had some cramping Monday and tues (we were in an rta on sunday) then had heavy bleeding wed morning. Hospital did a test and it was negative and bloods showed hcg below 5.
    Nurse peed me off a bit actually as said maybe you weren't pg as could be a false positive (which I know isn't possible only a false negative)...and on the Saturday id had a pos on a frer and an asda...and same on the Monday 2 different tests) though they were quite faint, but 4 separate tests had 2 lines. And the bleeding in having is different to my usual as....alot heavier with alot of clots and smells different *sorry tmi
    Sorry for essay xxx
     
    #4 Bellarina, Sep 9, 2016
    Last edited: Sep 9, 2016
  5. Emily0505

    Emily0505 Well-Known Member

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    Of course it was a baby hun, regardless of how early you were.

    One of the girls in here shared this with me when I had my first miscarriage...

    No name, no face
    No date of birth
    No hour of death
    No plot of earth
    You never breathed
    Or kicked or cried
    And yet for us
    You lived and died.

    Be kind to yourself sweetheart and its ok to feel however you feel.

    We're all here for you.

    XX
     
  6. Bellarina

    Bellarina Well-Known Member

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    That sums it up so well and is so true xx
     
  7. Syd43

    Syd43 Well-Known Member

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    I'm so sorry Bellarina, it absolutely was a baby. That's what all the lovely ladies on here have been saying to me. I'm 8 weeks pregnant tomorrow but it's a blighted ovum, nothing developed past 4.5 weeks. I haven't miscarried naturally so seeing the doctor this afternoon. I know how devastating it is to lose a baby, however early.

    I've seen lots of people say they ovulated after a mc before next af so it could happen either way. Best of luck, whatever you decide to do.
     
  8. Bellarina

    Bellarina Well-Known Member

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    Thank you hun and I'm sorry to hear of your loss xx
     
  9. BunnyN

    BunnyN Well-Known Member

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    I had an early loss, ovulated on time the next month and got pregnant again that cycle. DD is 3 now. We also have a 20 month old. I had another loss at 10 weeks that time things took much longer and were more complicated. It took me 5 months to get pregnant again ( I am 26 weeks with our 3rd now). In some ways the later loss was harder, especially physically, but it was also easier to come to terms with in some ways because we saw our perfect little baby on a scan, as heartbreaking as it was, we knew what we were grieving over. I think its hard with an early loss when you are left grieving over everything and nothing at the same time. My best advice would be to let yourself grieve over your lost baby and try and talk about it with OH or a friend. Bottling things up made it harder for me to start healing. When I finally had a heart to heart with OH and let myself grieve our loss it lifted a huge weight.
     
  10. Bellarina

    Bellarina Well-Known Member

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    I'm sorry for your losses hun.
    I'm fairness iv been quite open with DH, family,and friends and haven't had to really bottle it up...only really when if been with my son (though admitedly he has seen me cry) xx
     
  11. ClaireDoll

    ClaireDoll Well-Known Member

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    So so sorry bella. No one should have to go through this. My sister in law has lost a baby a week after he was born, one at 20 weeks and one at 6 weeks and says they are all equally hard to deal with. Also makes me really angry the way some doctors nurses etc speak to you. I've had three early losses and each time someone has made some kind of heartless comment. Maybe to them it's not a baby in medical terms but I don't think they grasp the emotional side of it as well. My latest appointment for recurrent mc the doctor was suggesting I was a bit mental to be grieving over a 5.5 week loss and suggested anti depressants and contraception to stop me ttc. They just don't get it! Your fine to try again as soon as you feel ready, I haven't ov'd this month I don't think, still waiting on AF after last mc but plenty ladies on here have caught again straight away so I guess everyone is different! Thinking of you x
     
  12. Bellarina

    Bellarina Well-Known Member

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    Thank you Clairedoll I agree mc isn't treated as delicately as it should be and alot of health professionals don't realise the emotional distress it causes xx I'm sorry you have had such bad experiences and for your losses xx
     
  13. 5Element

    5Element Well-Known Member

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    I had that"are you sure you were really pregnant?" with #1 mc. That hurt so much. I had a clear blue with 1-2 on it just 2 days earlier and to be made to feel like a fraud was terrible. But I loved that little bub and know it was there. I like to remind myself of the airport story and the wee one got in the wrong plane. Now they have found the right flight home. Your wee one is currently going through security and will be with you soon. Take your time to make sure they can travel first class home xxxx
     
  14. Kay Kay

    Kay Kay Well-Known Member

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    I'm so so sorry to hear this bella. Very upset for you hun. Sending lotsa love xxx
     
  15. Tina18

    Tina18 Well-Known Member

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    So aorry for your loss xxx
     
  16. babyslog

    babyslog Well-Known Member

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    Omg bella im so so sorry!!! I didnt realise you wete pregnant again. Hardly on here these days.


    Thinking of you xxxxxx
     
  17. Bellarina

    Bellarina Well-Known Member

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    Thank you girls for all your kind words. I thought today the bleeding and cramps would be starting to ease off but it's worse than ever. The blood is pouring out and still clots xxx
     
  18. 5Element

    5Element Well-Known Member

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    Hey Bella. How are you doing hun? Just thinking of you xxxx
     
  19. Bellarina

    Bellarina Well-Known Member

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    Hi hun I'm ok...yestrday had a bad day physically. Alot of cramping and bleeding. Touch wood it's eased off today xxxx
     
  20. laurat

    laurat Well-Known Member

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    Oh Bella Im so sorry to read this honey! MC is truely the worst thing to go through. I have had onrvat 8 weeks and R was in fact a twin but I lost the other baby very early on. You have to grieve and nobody should be made to feel strange for that. I remember the lady who scanned me acting as though because I still had a healthy baby going ok that the other baby (twin) sac being there was not important. Yes it was I should have been having twins.

    Listen to your heart in terms of waiting or trying straight away and do what you need to do. I hope the pain andbleeding stops for you soon. Take care! Xxx
     

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