Comments by strangers

Discussion in 'Second Trimester' started by CornishGirl, Mar 10, 2016.

  1. CornishGirl

    CornishGirl Well-Known Member

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    So I went swimming at my local gym yesterday, and as I got into one of the swimming lanes, the lady who was sharing it with me stopped me and said,
    "Are you pregnant?"
    I didn't have chance to reply before she carried on to elaborate,
    "It's just that I've noticed you in the gym and noticed you'd been putting on weight!"

    Now, I'm not easily offended, but I was a bit taken aback. I smiled back, and kind of laughed it off and said,
    "Yes I am. Why does it look like I'm getting fatter?" :blush: :rofl:

    I think it was at this point she realised what she had said and then said,
    "No, I meant I noticed you were putting on weight, but it's all going on one place. Not on your arms and legs!"

    Anyway, I then had half an hour of repeatedly swimming past her and didn't know where to look. I knew she hadn't meant to sound insulting, so when she left I gave her a kind smile, but I would never ever have the guts to just come out and say that to someone. Imagine if I hadn't been pregnant! :blush:

    Has anyone else had to experience anything like this?

    I'm not quite 16 weeks yet with my first baby, so it's nice that people now think I'm pregnant and not just fat at least! :)
     
  2. lucylu87

    lucylu87 Well-Known Member

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    I got asked if I was nearing the end of my pregnancy the other day by a lady behind the counter in a shop.....
    .. my reply was no, I'm halfway but just fat.... she didn't know where to look and it made me feel better... I would never dream of asking someone whether they were pregnant never mind commenting on how far along.... Xxx
     
  3. kittykitchn

    kittykitchn Well-Known Member

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    Being pregnant apparently gives everyone and anyone licence to comment on your body. It's just lovely. I literally just had it in Tesco half an hour ago, and Primark an hour before that.

    "Aren't you nice and neat", "you can't even tell you're pregnant from behind"

    However, nothing "nasty" - but it does feel like people own you.
     
  4. Redbootz

    Redbootz Well-Known Member

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    I had that in the dentist except she was saying how small I am and then she touched my bump!!! I didn't know what to say I was so shocked. I am going away for our baby moon end of the month and swimming is involved I think, it's a surprise but OH said to get a swim suit and I am really skinny so I am expecting a lot of staring. I am proud of my bump and I am proud of my size and my obstetrician has already warned me about comments relating to my weight and to ignore them. So I do hope I can enjoy myself without anyone saying anything but will try and be prepared for it. We are either too big or too small! And it's no ones business but our own.
     
  5. Blueclass

    Blueclass Well-Known Member

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    Well I have been told how 'massive' I am repeatedly and e times today. I'm only 5ft 1 so I'm short and iv put on a stone and a couple of pound maybe but it's all on my belly. You can not tell I'm pregnant from behind. I was in tesco maybe 2 weeks ago and the checkout guy said how long do you have left, few weeks? I said no still 4 month!!! He didn't know what to say. Iv now said to people well I'm pregnant what's your excuse? That tends to shut people up really fast. People think once your pregnant they have the right to make comments and touch you. If you was not pregnant and someone started touching you it's be sexual harassment or something lol so why they feel they have the right is beyond me.
     
  6. Pip52976

    Pip52976 Well-Known Member

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    People are constantly asking me if I'm having twins because I'm so big!! I started to get a little concerned but midwife assured me I'm the right size for where I am. I would never comment on a strangers size you have no idea how it could effect them.
     
  7. Lulie

    Lulie Well-Known Member

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    I can't believe these comments! I'd never say anything to anyone I didn't know, heck I don't think I'd even ask people I work with etc! Madness!
     
  8. Phoenix85

    Phoenix85 Well-Known Member

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    I don't mind bump touching really, but only towards the end, it's a bit odd at this stage as no one else can feel it move yet (I have to be lying down on my back and even then 9 times out of 10 the kids can't feel it).

    I've not really had any of that, only one time and that was only because it was a woman I know (not well but she lived near me and we chatted occasionally, then I moved, then she moved and ended up just down the street from my new house lol). Anyway, I asked her first, she's due next week lol. I said I was due but not til July and she said she did wonder but didn't like to ask. Which must mean I am still at the looking a bit fat stage. lol.
    Though to be fair I was in my coat so it's harder to tell what's bump and what's just podge and thick layers I guess.
     
  9. StephyLou

    StephyLou Well-Known Member

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    I was getting small and neat comments for the first 23 weeks of pregnancy, doubt that'll continue now I look like a beluga whale.
     
  10. Sparklegirl

    Sparklegirl Well-Known Member

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    I was shopping with my mum and someone she knew stopped me to ask when I am due. My reply was of course, 10th of never on account of the fact I am not pregnant. She insisted that my mum told her I was (ridiculous since its not true) which my mum refuted and she still tried to argue that she did.

    Good to know I am just massively fat. That really left me crest fallen obviously because I look that huge but also because not being pregnant is a touchy subject for me so she really got a double whammy in one sentence
     
  11. russellmuscle

    russellmuscle Well-Known Member

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    I had a guy at work who clearly doesnt know how to speak to women ask if I was pregnant.

    Yes I says. Hes like you know I did think that and I said well yes I look a bit peaky most days and he says No, no I had noticed youv got a belly now but didnt know if you were pregnant or putting on weight but didnt wanna say.

    Im thinking, and your saying now... In that manner. Yes Im pregnant and bloated get over it.

    This is my second and according to everyone who knows at work, Im showing. I think I look like Ive ate too many takeaways and not pooped in a week but hey ho.

    Ignore them, youll get it alot towards the end I haf randomers tell me how huge I looked or how they thought the baby was due like that day as apposed to months away. People are ignorant shits sometimes.

    xxxx
     
  12. fairyprincess

    fairyprincess Well-Known Member

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    It's mad how when you're pregnant people think it's their right to comment on your size/touch your bump! X
     
  13. CornishGirl

    CornishGirl Well-Known Member

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    Back when I was only 14 weeks, my old manager who I still work with asked me how far along I was. When I told her she replied by telling me that was when she suffered a miscarriage! Then she proceeded to laugh like it was a joke and said 'not to worry you though!'. I also had someone who asked how far along I was this weekend, and when I said 16 weeks, they proceeded to tell me that their sons wife lost one at 22 weeks. :(
    I'm a worrier so I really wish with all my heart that people wouldn't just come out with this stuff. It doesn't need to be said!

    I've also told a couple of close family that I plan to have a home birth and then they've proceeded to tell me horror stories of things they've heard that can go wrong with home births.

    I also had my mother in law telling me I needed to read up on every eventuality, and when I told her that I refused to read any horror stories, she carried on to tell me that she did because she wanted to be prepared. The thing is, I know things can go wrong, but if I know the details then they'll be in my nightmares and cause unnecessary worry. It's like people are determined to make me think the worse so I can't enjoy my pregnancy!
     
    #13 CornishGirl, Mar 14, 2016
    Last edited: Mar 14, 2016
  14. fairyprincess

    fairyprincess Well-Known Member

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    I can't believe they said that about the miscarriages! I've had a few negative comments about wanting a home birth but I'm ignoring as its my choice and everyone is different x
     

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