Christmas thoughts...

[Krystal]

I hope this isn't too morbid or anything but I really feel like I need to pay tribute to my mam this Christmas and was wondering if anyone else wants to do same. It's time of year when I think any loss is just magnefide (sp) so here I go...

I lost my mam to cancer, she was an amazing person and a wonderful mother to me, I was always given so much love and affection from her and I miss her cuddles so much.

This is Jack's first Christmas and I miss her so much and just wish she was here to share it with me and him but I like to think that somewhere she is watching us and sharing the celebrations too.

She loved Christmas, she'd get everyones presents then on Christmas eve we'd visit each member of the family to drop them off, dashing in and out of each house wishing them all a happy Christmas. She was like a little Mrs Claus

She brought so much happiness to this time of year and made it extra special. It's hard without her but I'm trying to make Christmas a special time of year for Jack in the same way she made it a special time of year for me.

So wherever you are mam.. merry Christmas and I love you xxx

 

[Sammystar]

That was lovely, you have me in tears.......



She's watching you, for sure.......

 

[Lou]

 

[glitzyglamgirl]

what a wonderful idea

I lost my best friend Ian to Leukemia almost 20 years ago, I was 13 and he was 14 and we had a very special friendship - our mums were best friends and we lived opposite eachother, and from the day I was born he took care of me like a big brother. I was the eldest of 3 girls and he had an older sister, so I guess we fulfilled certain sibling roles in eachothers lives. I could always count on him to make me laugh, listen to my sorrows, and just be there. We were always together and the first thing I done every day after school (we went to different schools) was dump my bag and run through the house to the front door and across the green to his house, where we would play on his commodore 64 or play super heros or tag outsid, or make up dance routines to micheal jackosn songs. His sister was a lot older and often stayed round her boyfriends so I would then sleep over and use her room, I remember one night he flung open the door, sleepwalking, wearing nothing atall, beating his chest and shouting "get off my bus!" and his mum had to come and walk him back to bed....I was so embarassed that id seen his willy I just pretended I had been asleep and not saw him lol.

He was bitten on the face by a neighbours dog when he was about 11 and it left some very nasty permanent scarring up the left side of his face, but it never bothered him, he never once complained about it and just said he was lucky it hadnt been his neck the dog went for. He was always so positive, and thats why I try to be positive....he was an inspiration.

He was an amazing lad and so kind and generous and thoughtful and intelligent, he was always giving me homemade cards for valentines day, christmas etc, and by the time I got to the age when girls begin to think about boyfriends...well no-one could measure up to his standards and I always believed we would get married some day and spend our lives together. It wasnt to be though as he was diagnosed with adult leukemia at 13 and it was too aggressive for him, he passed away just 2 days after valentines day and a month after his 14th birthday in Great Ormond St hospital. I still got my handmade valentines card from him though, that he had made in advance just in case.

The christmas before he died, he was allowed to come home for a couple of days....I hadnt seen him for a couple of months as he had been in hospital and my cow of a mother hadnt allowed me to go and see him, and I went to his house to see him as soon as he got there. He didnt look the same, but he was still so cheerful and loving. I remember sitting at his dining table with him, him in his blue dressing gown, and he said "look I have a new party trick" and pulled out a clump of his hair....I was shocked and so upset to see it but within minutes he had me creasing up laughing, and we were back to how it used to be. He was in so much pain and so weak, but he never let it show and he never complained. That was the last time I saw him alive. God im crying about it now just remembering it.

Ian.....its been nearly 20 years but I think about you often and will never forget your charm and kindness, you meant the world to me and always will

 

[Krystal]

 

[glitzyglamgirl]

to you too babes

 

[Urchin]

I've been trying to decide whether to post this but I will as it's the right thread for it I guess.

This will be my friend's first Christmas without Alfie, who died in March. He would have been 1 in November, and all Christmas they will be thinking about how their house should be full of 1 year olds toys.
I will buy a little gift for the grave I think. I hope they will be OK.

Also I had a phone call this week, some of you might know I made Alfies parents and grandparents pendants with his fingerprint on. The phone rang and it was another mom from school. Her sister has just had a stillborn baby girl (at term +3) and she wondered if I can do 5 pendants for her family in time for Christmas.
Usually I'd say no way there's not enough time but as if you can say no in circumstances like this.
It feels a bit weird making something so personal that people will treasure so much in years to come.. I've never even met the mom. I hope it offers her some comfort

 

[leckershell]

Luckily I've not lost anybody dear to me yet, but hugs to you all Urchin esp your post made me all sad

Big hugs to everyone

 

[glitzyglamgirl]

I've been trying to decide whether to post this but I will as it's the right thread for it I guess.

This will be my friend's first Christmas without Alfie, who died in March. He would have been 1 in November, and all Christmas they will be thinking about how their house should be full of 1 year olds toys.
I will buy a little gift for the grave I think. I hope they will be OK.

Also I had a phone call this week, some of you might know I made Alfies parents and grandparents pendants with his fingerprint on. The phone rang and it was another mom from school. Her sister has just had a stillborn baby girl (at term +3) and she wondered if I can do 5 pendants for her family in time for Christmas.
Usually I'd say no way there's not enough time but as if you can say no in circumstances like this.
It feels a bit weird making something so personal that people will treasure so much in years to come.. I've never even met the mom. I hope it offers her some comfort

Im sure it will give them lots of comfort babes

Blessings to your friends, little Alfies keeping an eye on things im sure

 

[Krystal]

Urchin I think the idea of the pendants sounds like it will bring a lot of comfort to this family for a lifetime.. very sweet of you to do them.

saying a little for little alfie too

 

[trixipaws]

very moving posts





to all of you xx

 

[Sammystar]

I'm so moved by this I wrote a poem......

To everybody who's missing somebody at this time of year......

Remembering.......

It's that special sharing time again
When families gather near
A time to love and celebrate
This special time of year

And while we're looking forward
To the merriment we'll share
We know there's someone missing
So we say a little prayer

For even though your body left
We see you every day
You're all around us, taking care
And showing us the way

In life you were our tower of strength
You took away our pain
And now you're gone, this precious time
Can never be the same

Are you watching over us?
Do you share in our delight?
As we open up our treasured gifts
This special, silent night

And even though we're smiling now
Our faces full of pride
There remains an empty space,
So we hide the pain inside

But you wouldn't want us to be sad
We sense your presence near
So we raise a glass to you today
A person held so dear

And now your star will shine it's light
So bright and clear above
Whilst we remember you this day
And send you all our love


*just edited it slightly....

 

[glitzyglamgirl]

aw sammy thats beautiful! very moving and so wonderfully written, thank you for sharing that

 

[Krystal]

Sammy thats beautiful.. now you got me

 

[Urchin]

I mailed that to Alfie's mom

 

[lozzi]

aww that poem is sooo nice, has brought tears to my eyes...


The person who i rememeber at christmas time, and especialy this time is me Nanna.

I miss her and love her SO much. I always just assumed she would be alive to meet my children... so its particurly hard this year, with it being bams first christmas...



Ellouise has my nannas name, and surname, Olwen Lucas, at the end. In Ellouise's Naming Ceremony, i asked the registrar to mention people who couldnt be there, and my nanna was the one i asked for.... I even got realy emotional and even people in the background got emotional.



I never got to say things to you Nanna that i wanted and needed too. But thankyou so much for being there for me in that terrible year, even though you didnt know waht was wrong you understand, and helped me through.

Without you i wouldnt be here, and i am forever greatful.


You are the best Nanna i could have asked for, and although you may not be here i know your always watching over us. Im sure you would be very proud of my little lady.


Missing you loads and ove you loads Nanna x

 

[ella]

These posts are very thoughtful

 

[Krystal]

Ok so been feeling a little guilty so guess should do another one..

Dad, I hope you found the peace in death you never could in life.

 

[Minxy]

I'll be remembering my grandad this year, who passed in November.

I worry about my mum, who was close to her dad and is still very saddened. When I see Stanley with my dad I'm reminded of how special the grandparent relationship is and I'm thankful to have had so long with my lovely grandad.

 

[Tangerinedream]

Sammy your poem is lovely, it made me cry.

Grandad, I couldnt wait to tell you when I found out I was pregnant. You were one of the first people I told. You sounded so thrilled to have another great grandchild. I couldnt wait to have children of my own so you could shine your love onto them and make them feel as special and loved as you made me feel. Sadly you passed away before Jake was born, his middle name, William, is a tribute to you.

I was so proud to call you grandad and cherished every moment I got to spend with you, especially as we lived so far apart. We used to speak to each other on the phone and have a laugh but as time went on your conversations became more muddled. I knew the time was getting nearer that we would say 'Good bye, love you' for the last time.

Shortly after you passed away you came to me in a dream. You were saying goodbye to everybody on a beach. When it came to my turn you grabbed my arm and said 'Oh no, Im not going anywhere until I know you are both alright'. I dont know if that was a dream or if you really did come to me on that night. I like to believe the latter.

I knew as soon as Dave said Ken was on the phone that day what he was going to say. You fell into a coma and slipped away peacefully in your sleep. There is now a big hole in everyones heart, which will be magnified this first Christmas with out you. We are all looking after nan, she hardly had a moment alone since you passed away, and she wants for nothing.

Everytime I smell cigar smoke I think of you xx