Children at funerals?

[kellie80]

Not a very nice subject i know but i would like some other poeple opinions please. My dad has terminal cancer and he was given 12-24 months to live in July last year. I have been thinking about Jessica and if I should take her to the funeral or not. She will be 7 in July and is quite grown up for her age but I can't decide what to do for the best. My mum thinks she should go as she lost her dad when she was only 8 and wasn't allowed to go and she says she never really believed he had gone. Jessicas dad doesn't think she should go and I think I agree with him but I'm not sure. What do you think? Could really do with the input! I know this seems a bit morbid but I want to make a decision before it happens. Jessica is really close to her grandad and knows all about his brain tumor but I'm not sure she would be old enough to cope.

 

[Sarah&Braydon]

could u not take her but do a lil summit like plant a tree for grandad at a later date

 

[Nic'n'Keeley]

You could ask jessica if she wants to go.... if she understands about the tumour and stuff she mite understand the funeral

 

[Alfiesmummy]

personallyI myself wouldnt take her, for the simple reason that you are going to be so upset yourself and everyone else will be and it could be a bit too much for her to take in, funerals are such upsetting situations, i was 8 when my granddad died and my mum didnt take us to the actual funeral but we did go to the wake afterwards. I agree with sarah that maybe plant a little memorial tree or something. Ultimately hun what you do is up to you and whatever you do decide is the Right decision, its best for your family.
Im sorry about your dad too Cancer is such a horrible disease.

 

[mum2A&L]

could u not take her but do a lil summit like plant a tree for grandad at a later date

thats a lovely idea!

i took alice to my OH's nans funeral when she has around 3 weeks old. but then it is different. she woke up, blew off, and then fell back to sleep.

i agree, you could always ask her if she wants to.

 

[smurf]

I am very sorry to hear your dad is so poorly it's very hard to loose a parent. My mum died seven years ago and my 2 sisters had 6 children between them by that time and they took them all barr the 2 babies. At the time the eldest was about 6 or 7 followed by 5yrs 4yrs 3yrs 18mth and 3weeks (we reckon my mum held on to see the new baby). I think its a very personal decision that really only you can make. My sisters kids were very close to my mum and they wanted to go and as most of them understood what was going on they were allowed to go.

 

[Hypnorm]

i think you should talk to her about it and eplain what happens.
Personally i would take her but only if she wanted to go.

 

[SarahH]

I would take her if she is close and you explain it to her. My nephew never went to my Mums funeral (he was 7) and he was really close and now that he is older and understands things wishes he got to go.

Maybe let her go the the church service bit only as it should be a celebration of his life.... dont let her see the churchyard part as I found that makes it more final... something a young person might not accept.

 

[kellie80]

Thanks girls. I like the idea of her maybe planting a tree or something like that. I don't think I will take her the the actual funeral but maybe the wake. I can't really talk to her about it yet as although she knows he has cancer she doesn't know her won't get better. I am not going to tell her that until he gets much worse.

 

[mary70]

i wouldnt take her but mybe take her later the same day with some flowers and explain to her what has happened