can't win.....

Discussion in 'Trying to Conceive' started by hayley, Oct 5, 2005.

  1. hayley

    hayley Well-Known Member

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    Hi

    I'm at work... i work in an office full of women.. aged between 20 to 35 yrs. Majority of the girls are 30 to 32.... quite a few of us got engaged around the same time... then a few of us got married! then came the baby boom.... it seems like everyone who got engaged either has a baby or one on the way!!!! I was getting very frustrated of people asking me when am I gonna start a family.... I started trying before most of them!!!! but kept smiling and replying with "after my next holiday"....

    Just now... a few girls where discussing who they think will be next in the office to get pregnant! My name never even came into the conversation.... they mention who they think will be next, then next, and so on and so on!!!!! but no-one thought to mention me!!!!!

    I'm happy they didn't because i can't face any more questions today (af pains and a misserable mood) but i'm also a little upset they just assumed i don't want one!!!!!

    Sorry for the moan but i'm allowed to moan once i got AF yesterday.....

    x
     
  2. ToriElla

    ToriElla Well-Known Member

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    Aw hayley, that must be awful. try not to take what they say too personally (i know it's easier said that done sometimes). You have a moan if you want to!

    I really really hope that you will be next!! xx
     
  3. xx becks xx

    xx becks xx Member

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    Hiya Hayley, awww i'm sorry your having a crappy day, its hard isnt it? I work in an office like that too and sometimes people really dont think about what they say. I know it gets you down hun, especially when AF shows, she came for me on sunday and it's so disappointing......but try to keep your chin up sweetie :D do they actually know that you're ttc? i hope you have a better afternoon hun xx

    Becks x
     
  4. *sam*

    *sam* Well-Known Member

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    Hi Hayley, sorry you're having a bad day :(
    With regards to the girls in your office.... I hope you get pregnant next!, misreble (sp!?) lot!! :lol:
    They probably don't realise how insensitive they're being. :)
    Hope your day perks up.
    In a bid to perk you up, here's my favourite joke;

    Two women walking home drunk had to pee, so they ducked into a graveyard.
    They had no bog roll so one woman used her pants and thew them away.
    The other used a ribbon from a wreath.
    The next day their husbands were talking....
    We'd better keep an eye on our wives, one said, mine came home without her knickers!
    You think that's bad, mine had a card up her arse saying
    "from all the lads at the fire station, we'll never forget you"

    Hope this helps a bit,
    Sam xx
     
  5. bev

    bev Well-Known Member

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    Hi Hayley,
    Sorry you're having such a crap day not to mention being surrounded by just women. I'm sure they don't mean it, try not to bring yourself down you need to stay positive and relaxed to make that little bundle:)
    Your day will come and it will be worth the wait.

    Bev x
     
  6. hayley

    hayley Well-Known Member

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    Hi Ladies

    Thank you for your messages and jokes... very funny sam.....

    I haven't mentioned that i'm trying...well i did tell one or two! I some times think it would be better that everyone knew i was trying... but i couldn't face "are you pregnant YET"......

    I'm keeping my chin up and laughing to myself... when i am finally get my BFP i'll be able to shock them all.... don't think i'll mention it till i'm at least 12 weeks... i'll just sit at my desk thinking yea!!!! i know who'll be pregnant next... ME...

    x
     
  7. Anna Marie

    Anna Marie Well-Known Member

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    Aaaah Hayley you poor thing.. people can be so bl**dy insensitive.. but as you will know from what I wrote in our other thread.. an office full of men is much worse as they are absolutely clueless and have about as much sensitivity as a cactus!!

    Seriously though I think this can work in your favour.. as you just said.. just wait until you tell they you are preggers and see their faces drop!! If I were you I would keep it all under wraps.. that way there is no room for any disappointment.. it would be awful if they did know and you had to tell them when AF arrived that this is not your month.... I would personally prefer not to tell anyone that may not be very sensitive about it all. As I have just learned with my boss sometimes it is better to keep sccchhhtum about matters that don't concern him.. I will be so excited when I get my BFP and the pregnancy goes well [a bit of positive hopeful thinking here on my part!] and I can tell him that I will be taking my FULL maternity entitlement.. then he really will be up Sh*t creek without a paddle!!!

    sorry.. got carried away about my moronic boss again... :x :evil:

    I feel same about women too though, all my friends and family / inlaws are married and have kids now and they all know about the m/c so are constantly asking me.. are you trying.. good luck this month etc like I have an examination to pass or something trivial.. god it bothers me but I have to just lie and say.. oh not trying yet so they get off my case!! like you I will be thrilled to shock them all when it is safe and OK to do so!!!

    Lets hope its sooner rather than later... wouldn't it be great if you were actually the "NEXT" one to announce it.. :lol:
     
  8. Lindsay

    Lindsay Well-Known Member

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    Hi Hayley

    What an insensitive lot you work with!!! Mind when I first got married, I was taken to one side and asked by my line manager if I was considering having a baby because they would have to write it into the budgets!!!!!!!!!!! I was really taken aback - so just said no - they said that it is only polite to let us know when you start trying so that they can make alternative arrangements. One girl in the office actually told her boss before she told her mum - Odd or what?!!

    Now I don't know what to do and when to tell them, we are currently going through a restructure so don't want to be written out of the equation altogether, it's one worry after another isn't it?

    Xxx
     
  9. Bagpuss17

    Bagpuss17 Well-Known Member

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    Bloody hell Lindsay I can't believe your boss asked you that after you got married. Our company is so PC nobody would dare say such a thing. There are lots of blokes in our office but lots have just become Dads so they are quite in tune with the pregnancy thing.

    I've got good managers, everybody is very supportive of pregnant women so when it's my turn hopefully it will be a positive experience. I haven't told anybody at work I'm trying though, only my sister and a couple of close friends know.

    We've been married for years so our families have given up on asking when we're going to have kids, they know better than to ask! Makes it easier for us. I couldn't stand the pressure of people at work and family asking if we're pregnant yet.
     

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