Can't love her anymore :(

futuremum

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Before Thomas was born the baby of the family was my female cat. she was never the kind of cat to come and cuddle you but still I would care for her. she always went to her dad anyway, ignoring me all the time apart from food time. anyway, since Thomas was born, i do not feel anything towards her, she is more of a burden to me than anything else. i still feed her, give her the basics but apart from that, she is getting no affection from me, not that she is looking for this anyway. Poor her, she always comes and see me when i have a bit of time free, which really p***** me off so i feed her and put her outside. I feel bad about it but cannot help it. she also tried twice to jump in thomas' moses when he was little, which did not make it any better for her!!!!

Sorry for cat lovers :oops:
 
Perhaps try and find her a new home - no good you being burdened. There will be someone willing to take her!
Good luck
Emilia xx
 
Well, she is getting her dad's attention :) It is just me who cannot have any feelings for her. she is on our bed sleeping now. I do not treat her badly, it is just i do not feel anything for her. when she comes for a cuddle, which is rare, i give her one. Hopefully that will change with time
 
Dont feel bad, i was the same, had to take my cat to a rescue place in the end, she started to get on all max's things including his moses basket! I felt really bad as i used to have to put her out at night and she would cry by the door, but i had to put my baby first.


I felt a lot better the first night she was in the rescue home because i knew she was getting the attention and warmth she deserved. I did feel upset as i rescued her in the first place and then 3 years later took her back, but i know it was best for her and she is such a loving cat she deserves a better home.

So i know exactly where you are coming from and totally sympathise with you!!

Natalie xx
 
futuremum I know how you feel Im the same with my cat, she just seems to get in the way and wont go out. The other day I made her go out and she got lost and found her at 11 oclock at night then I felt really sorry for her!
 
Hopefully it will be a phase. i just see her as a threat to Thomas. i suppose it is the maternal instinct kicking in!!! She sleeps on the single bed in thomas bedroom so she does not feel too much left out but i would never leave tom on his own with her in the room, i just do not trust her at all. She was on the bed this afternoon and I went to stroke her. I know i care for her deep down but at the moment, i am finding it difficult to be loving towards her.
 
futuremum said:
I do not treat her badly,
There are many that would. As long as you are feeding her and giving her the odd cuddle and not hurting her then as far as she is concerned you are loving her. Wait till Thomas gets a wee bit older and starts looking for 'cat'. I only have 1 now and he sounds like yours which suits me fine. I let him sleep in Jessicas room and she loves going to bed with cat there but I wouldnt have let this happen when she was 4 months old.
 
Aw futuremum, its normal to be feeling like this, you have so much to do with Thomas that having another creature need looking after is hard work. I have lots of pets, a dog, 3 cats, 2 rabbits, 3 guinea pigs, a hamster and fish and I resented them when I first had Seren but now its got a lot easier. Cats don't need much anyway as they are so independent, just feeding and an occasional cuddle and they are happy. I must say my cats have been so good. The eldest Toby doesn't really like Seren but he will cuddle up next to me when I am feeding her, Casper the baby just sniffs her and runs off but likes to sleep on my bedside rug when she is asleep as if he keeping guard. My third cat Maisy is the funniest, I have to watch where I put anything as she likes to sleep on her blankets and coats etc but she will let Seren pat her til she starts pulling fur and then she will run off but so far no claws. Seren also likes the rabbits but cries when we take her into the shed where the piggie's runs are, I guess it might be because its dark. Can't wait til she is crawling lol. Anyhow have gone off on a tangent, your cat will now she is cared for and when Thomas is a bit older he will enjoy having a cat and you will be able to relax more xx
 
Natalie

ive just realised that you dont live too far from me. that makes 4 of us all quite close.
 
I know how you feel, I feel the same about my dog :(
He is a rescue and used to be a complete nightmare.... poo everywhere, chew doors because he felt trapped, attacking other dogs, biting me !

I never had the heart to get rid of him because I knew they'd put him down as he wasnt re homeable.
He is alot better now and does have alot of love to give but I could NEVER trust him with Aimee.
I do still care for him but I just dont have the time for him that he needs or deserves, he's always getting in the way and im always shouting at him.
 
Well My OH is slowly introducing Thomas to the cat but i have to leave the room as i start interfering. She would be fine when he strokes her but if she does not like it, she will try biting him. You see, the problem is she would have some "friendly" fights with my OH but now she thinks each time you stroke her she can have a fight for fun. So i told my OH, no more fights for fun because she does not understand when she has to stop.

Lauramum, if i was to treat her badly, i would have given her away :). she has all the food she wants, we even let her sleep in tom's car seat, playmat at first so she did not feel left out. i am sure you are right, once my boy is older, it will all go back to normal.
 
I feel exactly the same about my cats, I'm so glad someone else feel the same becasue I felt really guilty about it. Before Rubie was born I loved them some much they were like my babies. But when she was born I became obsessed that they were going to hurt her (even though they never would) and I really begrudge having to look after them now. I really resent them and don't even want them any more but they aren't just my cats. I put them outside whenever I can. They put hairs on everything and sit on everything, and scratch the sofa it drives me mad!!
 
Davina , sorry for the loughborough post, thought you were talking to me as my name is also nathalie :oops: :wink:
 

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