Can't do this anymore..

Discussion in 'Trying to Conceive' started by ButtercupDaisy, Mar 2, 2016.

  1. ButtercupDaisy

    ButtercupDaisy Well-Known Member

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    Hi guys, I just needed somewhere to vent as I cant really talk to anyone about this.
    Just sitting at work and I just want to cry. The witch got me today :(

    After 3 miscarriages and a chemical it has now been 6 months of trying since our last m/c and nothing. I don't know what to do, and I appreciate everyone has their own issues etc but I feel so sick.

    We've tried Bd' ing every other day, last month we did every day around the fertile time. Ive tried normal OPKs I've tried the clear blue dual hormone - and nothing. What more can we do. I don't know how to 'relax' - why does everyone say that!!

    Someone help please :(
     
  2. MrsS15

    MrsS15 Well-Known Member

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    I'm so sorry you're feeling so low buttercup :(

    I've had so many days like that and I feel completely lost. It takes me ages to pick myself back up again! We're on month 11 with a m/c along the way. Its been 4 months since the m/c and we've had nothing since. I've tried 'relaxing' as best I can, focusing on something else. It's not worked! This month we bought the clear blue ovulation kit, used preseed and followed SMEP. If AF appears it somehow comforts me that I know I've done everything I can, as mad as that sounds. I cannot stand people saying 'just relax and it'll happen'... funny how the ones who say that are the ones who have never had to struggle!!

    I don't really have any words of wisdom for you hun, I just want you to know you aren't alone. Come and join us on the who's waiting chat and share post. I don't know what I'd do without the support on here!

    Huge hugs :hug: xxx
     
  3. Charlotte9

    Charlotte9 Well-Known Member

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    Sorry buttercup you feel low today.

    Try not to stress ( easier said than done I know). Stress releases a chemical that prevents from getting PG.

    Go for a walk, read, knit, colour the book. Do something you like and then get ready for the next cycle.

    Hugs xxx
     
  4. MelH999

    MelH999 Well-Known Member

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    Sorry you feel crappy. Hard having to keep a lid on it at work. Hard to relax when it's something you really want. Not sure what truth there is in it. Although I had a year of charting and following my cycle/O etc. Planning when we had sex, like we all do... With no success. Which was sad,annoying, frustrating. We then didn't have sex for 3 cycles, with holidays, and work and just prob sick of trying. Then without planning or thinking we dtd once before I went on holiday, no planning just did it cos we wanted and it landed! Sadly ended in mc. But... Was it because I weren't thinking or stressing? Prob not, prob just timing... Just rambling, but hope you begin to feel better, and maybe your doctor can suggest some tests. The only one I have had was to check egg reserves. Two blood tests during ur cycle. I'm sure there is more they could do for you xx
     
  5. Nemi

    Nemi Well-Known Member

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    Sorry you are finding it tough, I feel rubbish about it sometimes too and its even harder as I don't want everyone to know that I am trying so I have nobody to talk to about (Thank goodness for you ladies here)

    Have you had any tests done at the Doc? I have had one set of blood tests and when (or if) AF shows up this cycle I'll be having more blood tests and a scan.

    I am the worst person in the world at relaxing and so I can totally relate to that! Although so many people have said it that i think there must be a lot of truth in it, but still not easy!!

    My advice for staying sane whilst ttc is to remember to have fun with your OH and enjoy the time you have together. A few months ago I was so stressy about the lack of baby that I actually forgot about all the good things I have in my life. Try to focus on those good things (even for some of the time) and it will help you to feel a bit better.

    Sending you lots of baby dust and FX for your BFP next cycle!
     
  6. sammielou

    sammielou Well-Known Member

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    We were trying for 18 months without even a hint of success. I ended up anxious and depressed (not only about the lack of conception, but due to other stresses in my life too), following a breakdown I saw my GP. He told me to stop trying for a family and concentrate on taking care of myself for 6 months. I walked out of there and bawled my eyes out, mostly because I knew he was right. I told my OH. We didn't dtd for about 8 weeks after that. Turned out that neither of us actually wanted to. Until one Sunday afternoon when cuddling turned to kissing turned to dtd. For the first time in 18 months we did it because we wanted each other, not because we were trying to make a baby. Almost 4 weeks passed without any more sex. In that time I hadn't even thought about the possibility of getting pregnant from that one time. Except AF was 5 days late - longest ever since I've been tracking it. I took a test just to rule it out, shrugging it off as a stress/anxiety induced erratic cycle.

    BFP. I checked the dates then. We had conceived for the first time ever by dtd 8 days before I was expected to ovulate. On a day that we probably would not have dtd had we been trying.

    Hang on in there. Consider taking a break from it for a cycle or two. Have fun pleasing your partner in other ways and him doing the same for you - when you feel in the mood not when the calander says you should. There is something to be said for letting your sex drive dictate your attempts - your body naturally wants to get pregnant, so maybe let it decide when you should try.
     
  7. MrsS15

    MrsS15 Well-Known Member

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    Sammie that's an amazing story. So happy for you xxx
     
  8. Charlotte9

    Charlotte9 Well-Known Member

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    Sammie

    Thank you for sharing your story.

    So positive xxx
     
  9. ButtercupDaisy

    ButtercupDaisy Well-Known Member

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    Hi everyone, thank you so much for your lovely comments. Feeling better today. me and my partner have decided to just take it easy this month. We possibly put too much stress on ourselves.. BD'ing on demand is not fun :(

    sammielou- thank you for your story. Guess the main point to take is don't stress right :)
     
  10. MelH999

    MelH999 Well-Known Member

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    Sammy the same happened to me. A year of trying and charting and following 3 fertility aps and nothing. We had three months with no sex, and as I was going on holiday with my sis, thought we should maybe think about a truce! Anyway the day before I left we did it through wanting to and not because of making babies. I went on holiday, not even thinking I could be preg. Came back and checked my app, 1 day late. Which I would normally be aware of, but filling my mind with fun, holidays, Xmas plans it had passed my mind.

    So it does/can happen when you least expect it! Xx
     
  11. Piglet's Mama

    Piglet's Mama Well-Known Member

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    BD-ing on command is not fun. Me and my OH were like this last month and it was just rubbish.
    Have you tried Agnus Castus? This might help xx
     

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