can't cope!!!!! please help!!!!!

Discussion in 'First Trimester' started by Lisa J, May 24, 2005.

  1. Lisa J

    Lisa J Well-Known Member

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    Hello ladies.
    How are you all????
    i just would like some advice....
    I have got over the feeling ill side off things but i just feel soooooooooo down, will it pass??
    i don't want to do anything! but the only prob is i do temp jobs so if i don't go i don't get paid and loose the job but i just can't face sitting in front of computer in an office, also i we have got money probs so i ealy need to go to work otherwise the debt will be worse as i can't even afford to pay my bills, i really would love a job i can do from home but i can't find anything. i just want to stop feeling down, i suffered from depression a while before i was preg but i sorted that out!!!! i just can't cope with anything.
    has anyone got any advice???
    Please help!!!
    xxxxxxxxxx
     
  2. Kerry

    Kerry Well-Known Member

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    BIG HUG lisa!!

    Oh honey, pregnancy hormones can do all sorts of horrid things to us and make things seem 100 times worse than they really are.

    I know it's hard when life is throwing s**t at you but it's very important that you stay possitive for your baby as stress isn't good for the little one. Try to remember that you are growing a miracle inside you, a tiny life, a soul is growing all because of you. Try to remember there is more to life than money and that your baby will be happy whether you have it or not.

    Try to look more at the good bits in your life and leave the bad ones alone for others to worry about, or get help from others to sort them out.

    I am sure things will start to look up for you very soon, just try to think possitive, remember - you are an amazing wonderful person who is creating another amazing wonderful person.............how many people around you can say that eh?!? :wink:

    Much love sweetheart
     
  3. catherine23

    catherine23 Well-Known Member

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    Me too lisa!

    How far in debt are you? Me and my partner are about £30,000 in debt and are going to declare ourselves Bankrupt after we sell our flat. Its really the best way to go if you can no longer go on. Bankruptcy went up 50% last year and god know what it will bethis year. The whole of England is becoming financially unstuck.
    If you have too much to loose in bankruptcy what about an organization like CCCS? they basically take all of your debts and work out what you can oford to pay, even if its £1 a month to your creditors. This company is not like those awful ones on tv that take a huge amount and make you debt worse, they are a non profit charity organization with the Citizens Advice. Check out the Citizens advice website to.
    I suffered with dipression also and ended up having to have hypnotherapy! you can drive yourself crazy worry and it doesnt help matters. You really should seek advice Citizens Advice are there for you!

    Are you aware of all the benefits your entitled to during and after pregnancy? If your really unable to work, why not claim job seekers allowance its only £50 a week but you can also get housing benefit and council tax help etc. I have a post in the introduce yourself on benefits you can claim.

    Dont think your alone, 99% of people in the country have finacial problems, many run away from them, go bankrupt or struggle and not realize what help there is. Talk to citizens there should be ione near you, and in the meantime chill!

    Hope this helps a little!
    ad hope you work things out!
    cat x

    p.s Ever though of Ebay, A great way to earn from home, many websites on the internet will sell to you at a trade price or theres those places always around where you can buy x catalogue for next to nothing. Just takes a bit of searching. Or even buy from Ebay itself it has bulk sales where you can buy cheep and then sell seperate for more money! there also working fom home for catalogue companies but I have no idea how to go about that.
     
  4. Rosebay

    Rosebay Well-Known Member

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    Big hug going your way ((LisaJ )).

    Pregnancy does all sorts of things to your hormones and just feeling so tired all of the time can get you down. My husband suffers from depression so I know where you're coming from there too. Is it worse if you do some things rather than others? He feels a lot better when he gets outside- even just for a small walk. He gets especially down when he's bored. I've been reading that a bit of gentle exercise helps this crashing pregnancy fatigue and I think it does have a positive effect on me. If I were at home I'd do what I do at the weekends- absultutely nothing but sit in a chair and veg and I actually don't always feel the better for it. (although when you have to sleep you have to sleep!).

    It might be worth talking to your midwife if your depression carries on- she might have some useful suggestions for you. Like the others have suggested you have lots of options with your work and financial situation- try not to worry too much (hard I know and easy for someone else to say!) you have to be gentle with yourself right now- you're a very special person!

    +++
     
  5. Lisa J

    Lisa J Well-Known Member

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    hello
    thank you so much for your responses.
    I really needed some reassurance.
    I think i will contact CAB and see what they say. coz my hubby is in the army we don't need any housing benefit thank god! unfortunatly we have too much to loose by bankruptcy but i haven't heard of the other company the CCCS? before what does that stand for??
    i just wish i could feel happy about the pregnancy coz i do want the baby but i just feel like i can't be happy coz we don't have enough money for us two to live on let alone a little one!!
    Once again thanks for your replies
    xxxx
     
  6. -Cat-

    -Cat- Well-Known Member

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    Hi Lisa,
    Try not to worry to much, everyone worries about money when they are expecting, its not cheap! and it can be very daunting, make sure you look into hat benefits you can get, I just found out the other day that after my maternety pay finishes I should be elligable for contribution based JSA because it dosent take into consideration what your partner earns and so long as you have been making NI contributions for two years you can claim it for 6 months while you look for a part time job if thats an option for you.
    Don't worry you will struggle though it might just mean some lifestyle changes but hey with a new baby thats going to happen anyway!
     
  7. futuremum

    futuremum Well-Known Member

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    Hi Lisa!

    I know i should not say that but that reassures me to know i am not the only one to feel depressed. since the beginning of my pregnancy i have felt so down. I have spent the first 3 months of my pregnancy driving myself crazy, crying all the time, not even knowing what to think of my relationship and the worst of all not feeling much for this little creature inside of me. i feel even worse about this. I think one of the reasons is that i do not know many people and feel so bored. money problems is a worry too for me but everyone keeps telling you always find a way, i hope it is true.
    i have been told it is hormones playing up, i have never felt depressed before but i find it very difficult to handle. i talked to my partner about it because i was ready to put an end to the relationship and the baby but now that i am on holiday, have managed to get some sleep, i have realised that i want the baby and want to build a family. i still feel very depressed and worry about it still, i suppose that cannot go away like this but from now on i will try to feel abit more positive about it. i went to see baby stuff today to make me realise i am expecting a lovely one. I am going to have my first appointment tomorrow, i know it is dead late i should be at the stage of having a scan by now but my head needs sorting out. hopefully they will be able to advise me places to go to help me. i want to give this baby a good start but i feel so messed up about all this. So it is reassuring i am not the only one feeling down.
     
  8. Vanny J

    Vanny J Member

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    Hi Lisa,

    I know exactly how you feel, I've tried to be happy about my pregnancy - I was to start with, but now I don't. I've suffered from depression in the past and was told that it could come back during pregnancy, I thought I had dealt with it and didn't think it would happen - well I now feel shocking, down, sad, worried, wanting to cry all the time. The feelings have got worse over the last week or so, I suppose as my sick feelings have got worse the worse my feelings inside have got. This sounds awful, but I have no feelings for this baby inside of me (I'm really hoping this will change) - I've told my partner, and he fully understands (he seems to be giving my little bump and me all the love in the world, which can't be easy for him as he works long hard hours to make ends meets). I'm worried about money, I don't want to go to work, all I want to do is stay at home - which at the end of the day will make me worse.

    People keep telling me it will pass, I really hope it does - I'm struggling to carry on. I feel like I want to pack a bag and hide away from the world (even my partner).

    I hope you are feeling better by knowing that you are not alone, I feel better knowing there are others who feel the same - I feel such a freak as I should be loving this bump to bits.

    Take care all.

    V
     
  9. Lisa J

    Lisa J Well-Known Member

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    thankyou everyone for your replies!!!

    at least i know i am not the only one feeling like this, i just wish it wil go away but it just seems to be getting worse and worse.
    keep in touch
    xxxxxxx
     
  10. dani200420052000

    dani200420052000 Well-Known Member

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    Hi Lisa!
    I have it bad too... don't worry! All I want is my baby to have a good life, I don;t think it's all about money... Bur for some crazy reason me and my partner are struggling at the moment....
    This is my debt that I owe:
    Provident- £200.00
    Welcome Finance- £1150.00
    Yes Loans- £2553-00
    Littlewoods- £80
    That's my bills alone.... Which we struggle to pay... we had to get the £2000 loan last week or we were threatened to get evicted from our house... we have has struggled finances over the last year..
    Rent- £600
    Council Tax- £120
    Gas/Elaectric- £90
    Shopping- £100
    So monthly we pay out £910 before we even pay the debt off... my partner gets £950 a month.... I am currently looking for work but fnding it hard because I am pregnant... The leeting agen that we are with does not accept ppl living in the property that is not working... but i lost my job! So I can't claim any benefits because I will no longer be allowed to live at that property... My whole life is a mess... We struggle so much... Just don't know how things can get any worse....
    Any advice xx
     
  11. Tiny Sue

    Tiny Sue Well-Known Member

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    Hey all you guys

    I'm a newbie here, this is my first pregnancy. I've been feeling down too. I've had depression and anxiety before and was worried that it might come back during pregnancy - the anxiety hasn't really but the depression (mild) has.

    The thing is, we all know that hormones do that kind of thing. We all know that we are loved and that we love our partners. We all know that a baby is the greatest miracle on earth - isn't it amazing how things can be in the right place and time for you and your partner to create a little spark of life?

    We will all love our babies when they arrive. Women have been doing this for thousands of years. When I feel down, as I did this evening (cried on my husband's shoulder) - I say, Sue, you aren't the first to feel this way and you won't be the last. It will be worth it.

    As for debt - my husband and I, thank God, both work and have good jobs. However, we are over a quarter of a million in debt with two mortgages and car payments, not to mention our wedding! It will be tight for a bit with the baby, but we'll get through it. I don't know if you guys believe in God, but my mother used to say, God never closes one door but he opens another.

    There
    I've cheered myself up as well as you guys!

    Love and cheery up dust to all

    Sue
     
  12. Nikki2003

    Nikki2003 Well-Known Member

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    Don't worry girls me and my husband are also going through a rough time right now in our life....but like all of you we will get through it.....no one ever said that life was gonna be easy but we gotta make fun out of it and try not to worry even though it can be hard not to sometimes....remember we have 'lil babies growing inside of us think of all the excitement of going through this pregnancy and all the joys and how much fun we're all going to have when this baby arrives!

    Take it easy! :oops: :roll:

    ~Nikki Lee~
    married 7 months, will be 21 on 7/30
     

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