Can't breathe! Need space! Advice needed!

Discussion in 'Pregnancy Chat' started by belugamoon, Jun 21, 2016.

  1. belugamoon

    belugamoon New Member

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    Please help. Any feedback on this situation would be most appreciated!!!

    Im 31 yrs old and 26 weeks pregnant, my partner (29) does not understand that I am needing a lot of 'calm' time right now and do not like unexpected visitors. I am currently seeing a psyciatrist from the maternity team and I just feel so trapped. Despite my asking him to tell his family about this he has only just informed them, I think because he is embarrassed. He is now saying he understands but its been going on for months, he is very much an extrovert and can talk for hours with anyone about anything where as I am very much the opposite.


    There are many more things going on in our relationship right now that i am trying so hard to support him through (porn addiction/nosy family/totally not house trained/druggie troublesome brother) and all I am asking him for is privacy. My own mum is currently going through a break up and basiclly means she has lost her carer and is very likely now going to go through a rough period. I just feel like he is draining me and there is nearly nothing left.
    It was the last straw last night, we were supposed to be having friends over at 7pm for food and chats which I had been looing forward to, it was 5.30pm I had yet to shower, tidy, or cook and my partner had a phonecall from a cousin and his sister asking if they could come over with 2 yr old, he just said yes straight away and of course my panic levels went through the roof. After 2 hours of inane chatter with soemone I have never met before our friends turned up with me looking like crap because I had had to entertain, nothing in for tea, and then the sister announced she was staying, I had been looking forward to seeing my friend and having personal chat with her so we went on the front to have a chat and now the sister is saying she is never coming round agagin as I was rude and left her in the flat by herself to talk to my friend.

    Surely I have every right to speak to who ever I want, where ever I want in my own house?? Surely I have the right to have half hours notice before soemone comes to visit??
    Everyone is now just seeing me as some anti social rude freak and the more i pull away the more people are trying to get to me. My partner says he has a hard time saying no to anyone. I have no hope for the future, i cannot change that I am a private person and I am terrified of when the baby comes and trying to breast feed and get my rest that I will have privacy or be able to control who is in my enviroment. I have 2.5 months left and I ams eriously considering moving out for my own sanity and to protect my mental health for when the baby arrives to ensure I can get the space that I need.
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  2. Blueclass

    Blueclass Well-Known Member

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    I would call the sister and say your sorry if you came across rude however you had invited your friend over for a private chat and as she had decided it was ok to stay for dinner you went in the next room.
    As for your partner it seems he really needs to listen to you and take what your saying on board. I'm not sure what you can do as you have already spoken to him. Can you not stay with someone for a night a friend, family member. Maybe if your out the house it will make your other half see how upset you are.
     
  3. flexilexi394

    flexilexi394 Well-Known Member

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    You poor thing, that sounds awful! I would consider some distance too, is there anyone you could go stay with for a little while? You need to concentrate on you for the forseeable considering you are pregnant! Pregnancy does all sorts of things to your body, I definitely think your partner needs to be more considerate of this and actually grow a back bone and say no to people. When the baby arrives you will want plenty of space from any visitors because of the over stimulation of having them!

    I hope you're okay and you can get some alone time xxxx
     

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