Can someone PLEASE suggest something sensible I need HELP

[bethy]

Can someone PLEASE suggest something sensible for a 29+5 week pregnant Mammy, with a full time job, a son of nearly 2 years, a husband and house to look after, while feeling so ill and miserable just wants to crawl into a dark hole and give up!!!!!

I’m 29+5 weeks now and have been feeling so ill the past few weeks I just don’t know what to do anymore. I’m feeling desperately miserable (midwife said its depression or baby blue and suggested sleep and rest). I have been feeling really sick (didn’t suffer much with morning sickness in early pregnancy). Have had an upset stomach for over a week now, still get hungry but when I eat stomach get worse and feel more sick then can pass out (doctor suggested rest), have had a really painful hip throughout the pregnancy (again was suggested I rest) and feeling excessively tired constantly to the point where Im asleep by 8:15 on an evening as that is when I eventually sit down for the day (yet again was suggested I rest and sleep) and on top of all that I have the usual aches & pains, headaches and passing out.

All the healthcare professionals I have spoken to and all the info I have read on the net say “a pregnant woman feeling this way should get plenty rest, sleep & light exercise” but can someone please tell me when I can find the time to rest, when the minute I wake, to the point I collapse, I hardly have the time to pee let alone sleep, rest or exercise!!!!!!!

Please does anyone have any suggestions that could help me and others like me, pregnant, working full time, with a toddler, house and husband to look after (I have to say the husband is doing everything he can to help but he is working 2 jobs just to keep us floating, he is a diamond).

Beth

 

[orangefluff]

Hey love it sounds like you're having a really tough time, big hug

I'm not in the same situ as you as this is my 1st pregnancy but I am working full time and know how tiring it can be. However, I can go home and collapse whereas you start another fulltime job when you get home looking after your son!

Is there anyway you can get signed off work for a week or so by the doctor? If they're telling you to get rest etc cant they do that? And when do you start mat leave?
Does your hubby help around the house and with your son? If not then he really needs to know how you're feeling and take on more if he can.

xxx

 

[Annie050408]

I know where you are coming from in terms of being over 29 weeks pregnant and exhausted- luckily I am now on school summer holidays (teacher's pay is cr@p but the holidays are a Godsend!). I was getting to the point where I was seriously considering calling in sick each morning because I just didn't have the energy to do anything.

Can any relatives look after your toddler for a day or two to allow you to catch up on sleep and take some time out to look after yourself? Also, try to eat a lot of fruit and drink lots of water because these things will help keep you hydrated and replenish your energy stocks.

 

[bethy]

I could get signed off, but as my company’s policy is to only pay SSP, it would be too much of a significant drop in finances and we would financially sink.
My hubby is a great guy and is working a full time job plus a second job to keep us afloat, and when he is at home in time to give our little man his bath and put him to be he does. He also helps in the kitchen and around the house so there is not a lot more he can really do.
Congrats on your pregnancy hope things are going well for you.

 

[LouLou1986]

work out how much holiday you are entitled to and talk to your boss and have the hole lot in one go then you shud be able to breack up for maternity leave...hope that helps

 

[bethy]

My Mam has my little man while I’m at work and I have no other family hear (they are at the other end of the country) and the husbands family I don’t trust (for many reasons) so unfortunately there is no one else. Plus I feel like my mam is raising my son not me and I miss my little man so much that when I do get time with him, I would feel awful sending him off to someone else to be looked after.
Being a mammy is the best thing in the world nothing comes close but it’s also the hardest.
Is this your first Annie? Enjoy you holidays I’m so jealous lol

 

[orangefluff]

Sorry just re-read your post and it's great that your hubby is being so good.

I dont know what more you can do apart from grab all the rest you can when your little boy has gone to bed - dont feel guilty about going to bed at the same time as him! And as Annie says if you can anyone to watch him even for an hour in the evening and grab a relaxing bath or something that would help.

It is poo that SSP is so rubbish. If you can call in sick for a day or two that might help a little bit. Really hope you start feeling better soon but def keep in close touch with your M/W & GP as you're feeling so awful xx

 

[bethy]

I have tried to spread my holidays over the pregnancy just to get some rest and have a week off after next week but that’s because my mam is going on holiday and as she normally has my little man, I have no one else to look after him. (dont have any other time off after that)

I’m really looking forward to some time with little man but he is so full of life, it’s hard to keep up with him feeling like this, but he still has a sleep for an hour or two in the afternoons so I’m hoping that I can get some rest then (just need to remind myself to rest when he does and not do house work or decorating lol)

I’m working till I’m 28 weeks and only taking 6 months off any longer then we would just coundn't afford it.

 

[titch]

do you claim tax credits? You can get childcare element for just a short period of time, even if theyre not normally in childcare throughout the year. I dont know howold your son is but is he old enough that you could have him in a childminders for one saturday a month until your baby arrives. Im pretty sure tax credits would cover it. Or you could put him in a nursery one day a week and ask your mum if she could havehim in the evening (as in pick him up fromnursery give himtea etc) so you could come home from work one night and just crash out. I dont know what else to suggest really. Except if you could afford even one sick day, and still ask your mum to have your son it might make a difference?

Try not to feel guilty about spending time with him tho, if you take some more time for yourself, you'll have better quality time with him, instead of feeling so exhausted all the time. Has your midwife checked your iron levels? its worth asking. SOmething as simple as iron tablets could make the world of difference

 

[Annie050408]

Yep this is my first - am very excited about meeting the little one!

Perhaps sit the little one down in a playpen in front of a movie or something while you have a nap on the sofa or something. I know what you are saying about not wanting to leave your little man with your mum for too long but I mean just the odd night so you can rest for a whole evening. You might find that this is all you need in order to feel better again. xx

 

[bethy]

We get very little help from tax credits because of our household income level and the little amount we would get towards child care still makes child care too expensive.
My poor mam suffers from a b12 deficiency and worn disks in her back so I try not to ask her to do any more than she is doing. (Hope I’m half as good of a mam as she is)
As for putting little man in a play pen Annie, he would only climb out lol. Nothing holds him back, he was walking holding the sofa at 6 months and off on his own by 8 months, he wasn’t quite 10 months when he climbed on top of the kitchen side by moving his toys and using them as steps (he is soo funny and clever)

 

[titch]

I just dont understand the tax credits system at all. I sometimes wonder if the people who run the system even understand it!!

sorry I couldnt think of anything else. If theres any way you can afford it, you need to put your health first. And definately get onto your midwife to check your iron levels, that can make you feel soooooo tired.

 

[bethy]

Thanx Tiny, I don’t think the people who run the system have ever had children or even know what the real word is really like for us hard working families.
Is this your first? Any signs of labour yet? Those last few weeks are the worst!!!

 

[titch]

yeah its my first

Ive had some braxton hicks for weeks but theyre getting really strong, and had some period pains earlier but thats gone now. Just waiting waiting waiting I could be orgnaising the house but I feel too tired to do anything!

Im having a nightmare just getting an application pack for tax credits

Was watching this morning yesterday (as you do on mat leave before youve got a baby!) and the martin money saving expert was saying that a lot of people dont realise you can claim a childcare element on top of your tax credit just for the summer holidays, and a lot of working parents with school age kids dont realise that. He was saying just ring up and tell them, I was thinking, yeah if they'll answer the bloomin phone that would be grand!

 

[serenitylove]

might be worth checking in weather if your hubby gave up second job you would get working family tax creds i think unless your over 40k a yr you should get more help might help having him home more

 

[JJ Mum]

I was gonna say worth getting your iron levels checked too! they can make you feel exchasted and sleepy with it , makes ahuge difference then to get iron as a pick me up!

Hang in there, try to start Mat leave when you can, enjoy your weeks holiday with your son when off work soon with your mum away and get some real quality time together, that will pop a smile on your face too X