Can someone help, think I'm going insane!

[Keeponhoping]

Ok this is a long story but please stay with me!

First of all I had a pregnancy of an unknown location and was treated with methotrexate in April of this year

I found out I was recently pregnant again, and was told I would need an early scan to ensure everything was in the right place etc.

So on Tuesday was the day of the scan where I thought I was 6+2 however the scan only showed a sac, the corpus luteum, thickened lining and they thought I was more around 4-5 weeks, but was positive all was looking good, they commenced beta hcg, was relieved it was in my uterus.

Had a phonecall on Wednesday to say hcg was 3800 and that I would be rescanned again Thursday to check for yolk sac and baby

Had scan on Thursday, same result as Tuesday but sac had grown 2mm in 2 days, still no baby visible, more blood taken

Blood results in telling me they have only risen slightly to 4200 which obviously has not doubled and I'm told to prepare for the worst once again!

The consultant is now to scan me again tomorrow for her to hunt for this baby and probably more bloods

I will go for the scan one last time but if it's the same as the last few days I'm thinking of pulling myself out of scans and bloods as I cannot play this waiting game anymore, I did for 6 weeks with pregnancy of unknown location and I've decided to just go with what will be will be as the waiting is torture!

What I'm getting at really is obviously my bloods have risen slightly, sac is growing, but is this yet another end? I've had no bleeding or pain, just really don't know what to think, I'm so confused, don't even know now how far along I actually am, everything is so up in the air and mentally I'm struggling!

So sorry for the long post and I thank you so much for any replies or experiences.

 

[Keeponhoping]

Please anyone! I'm just so drained and frightened. Just need to talk it over. X x

 

[BunnyN]

So sorry you are going through this. Limbo is awful. Honestly things dont look great but seeing as the sac has grown and the levels have gone up there is certainly still some hope. Unfortunately only time will tell. I think its up to you whether you rather carry on with the scans and bloods or skip them and wait it out. The good part is that they have already found the pregnancy so the danger they were worried about and the reason for doing scans in the first place is passed. Without your history you likely wouldn't have had the scans and tests in the first place. Slow rising levels are a danger sign but there have been similar posts on here before with a positive outcome. I really hope yours turns into a positive story. If not I at least hope you get answers soon. Hugs.

 

[Keeponhoping]

Thank you for being honest, I appreciate it! I think I will go for one last scan tomorrow and then leave it be and just see what happens, hopefully some kind of miracle! But i doubt it, 2016 has not been the best year, I will be glad to see the back of it!

In terms of if I miscarry, I don't know what to expect, do I just wait it out naturally and all will come away, obviously just the sac of course, Is that normally the process? I was given methotrexate for the other and that obviously expelled the pregnancy and it ended, but with this do I just wait?

Thank you so much again for replying, until tomorrow I suppose! X x

 

[Sparklegirl]

Thank you for being honest, I appreciate it! I think I will go for one last scan tomorrow and then leave it be and just see what happens, hopefully some kind of miracle! But i doubt it, 2016 has not been the best year, I will be glad to see the back of it!

In terms of if I miscarry, I don't know what to expect, do I just wait it out naturally and all will come away, obviously just the sac of course, Is that normally the process? I was given methotrexate for the other and that obviously expelled the pregnancy and it ended, but with this do I just wait?

Thank you so much again for replying, until tomorrow I suppose! X x

So sorry to hear you are going through this. My friend was in a similar situation and she was given a D&C (or an ERPC, it wanst really clear to me which they did) so these might also be possibilities too as well as passing it naturally. I have my fingers and toes crossed for your scan tomorrow xx

 

[BunnyN]

I think it varies a lot. Obviously the MC wouldn't start quite yet as things are still growing. Once your levels start to drop it could take days or it could be weeks for your body to recognise the loss and start bleeding. You can take medication to speed it up if you rather. Im not sure if they give the option of a d&c so early in pregnancy? If it comes to it maybe ask a doctor about your options. If it is too long they dont like to leave it because of the risk of infection but that is only after a few weeks. I really hope you just have a slow starter though. If you still don't have answers tomorrow you could ask if you could ask for a scan in a week or two, when it is more likely to give you definite answers? That might be less stressful that going every couple of days.

 

[Keeponhoping]

Bunny, you have been amazing, thank you so much! I was thinking exactly the same thing, to give it a couple of weeks and to go back for a scan then to completely check, and they'll know for sure if it has continued to grow or not by then. Will definitely ask the consultant if I can do this tomorrow. You have been so helpful, thank you. Now just got to get through tomorrow and then what will be after that! X x

 

[Keeponhoping]

P.s. like you said it's the going every couple of days is awful!

P.p.s thanks sparklegirl, I'm looking for a miracle here!

 

[BunnyN]

I had a chemical pregnancy which kept me in limbo for a week or so and it was awful not knowing what was going on. I also had a MC at 10 weeks. I started spotting and booked a scan for the next day. The scan showed no heartbeat. I would have given almost anything for a different outcome but it was a also sense of relief to have a definite answer. Having two scans and still no answer must be so hard.

 

[Keeponhoping]

Sounds like you've been through it too, I'm sorry!
It's almost putting me off ever trying again, first the suspected ectopic and now this in the space of 4 months, not sure I can handle much more at the moment! I know, the suspense not only 1 but 2 scans wishing for them to say it's all ok, don't think it's going to be 3rd time lucky on the scan front, but never mind you can't win them all! X x

 

[elsa16]

Hi lovely, I'm so sorry for you - the not knowing is the worst.

I had a tiny bit of spotting at around 7 weeks and went to see the doctor who referred me for a scan. The scan showed that I was more like 4-5 weeks and all they could see was a sac with nothing in it. I had a scan a week later and then again a few days later which showed the same and I had another one two weeks later which confirmed it was a miscarriage.

The sac was growing all the time until the last couple of weeks but with nothing in it.

I was absolutely heartbroken and praying for a miracle.

I read a lot of success stories online which fuelled my hope for good news but sadly it ended badly for me.

I really really hope and have my fingers crossed that you get good news, but if you want to chat I am all ears xxxxx

 

[BunnyN]

I have had two healthy pregnancies in between my losses and am expecting number 3 so as heartbreaking as it still is to experience a loss I can't complain too much. Two losses in a row must be really hard to cope with. I found the ladies on here wonderful. It helps so much to speak to others who really get what you are going through and it really helps to know what is 'normal' and what to expect. I always try and spend a bit of time answering other ladies threads in the loss section as it has helped me so much.

 

[BunnyN]

An ectopic is especially hard as you actually have to make decisions about what to do. My MC was heartbreaking but at least it was out of my hands. It must have been such a hard year for you. I have a friend who was supportive when I had my MC. She has had two ectopics and lost both her tubes is really sad.