Calling mummy's of "bad" sleepers...

[Lis32]

Hi there...

James is nearly 6 months old and has always been what I would call a "bad" sleeper. He is still waking loads in the night. Last night he had 4 periods of waking, varying in length from 20mins to 1hr each time. It is also a real struggle to get him to sleep later than 5am. This is quite typical of our nights. After 6 months of this I am soooo tired...

So, my question is... Does it just get better eventually? Or do I have to take some action to improve things? And if so... What was the best thing you did to improve your baby's sleep? Please, please share your knowledge, hints and tips to improve my baby's sleep and keep me sane !

 

[jue]

Theo, is a bad sleeper, and I have a way to go to catch up with you as he is only 2 months, so no advice, just wanna pass you some , my older kids have always been good sleepers, so this is new to me. Hope you get some advice soon....

 

[Marijana FC]

Hi there!

First, big !
Second, I know what you are talking about: my little one has never been a great sleeper and things seemed to become worse the older she got (I know this doesn't sound promising but bare with me ) We reached rock bottom at about 7months when she just didn't sleep at all. It was almost constant screaming for entire night. I was dreading the nights and really couldn't stand her screaming any more. This complete nightmare lasted until she was 9-9 1/2 months old when I contacted the sleep clinic to help us. I was (am) absolutely against controlled crying (especially because if you leave Danica to cry on her own she just vomits all over the cot) and the clinic is currently training us how to use various behavioural tools to help her sleep. I am not really supposed to talk much about it (it's a private clinic) but I think I can write about general advice they gave us.

One of the most important things is to check that the baby is well. I know it sounds silly but one of the reasons why Danica was crying was her urinary infection that we didn't know about. Then, what helped us the most was the change in our attitude towards her sleeping. As soon as we became more relaxed and less precious about it, danica felt it and the change was almost instant. I know it sounds like a fairytale, but I got up one morning, sick and tired of feeling like a zombie and announced that she was going to sleep. I was very gentle with her while settling her for her naps but also very firm. Set by her cot until she fell asleep, telling her reassuring things and patting her back when she was crying. It took her half an our to settle but it worked. For me it was a miracle! Previously I wasn't able to settle her at all. I used the same approach in the night when she was waking up and after a few nights she was waking up only once or twice and would go back to sleep relatively easy.

Oh God, I've just noticed how long this post is. SOrry about that - I'll stop here but if you want to talk more you can always PM me.

Good luck with it anyway!

 

[farls]

grace was a bad sleeper. waking every hour. she would stop as soo as i went into her room. i tried not to pick her up but just shushed her and sat with her for a while until she settled. she started getting better about 9 months and we usually get 3 or 4 good nights a week now. it does get easier in time even though it does feel bad now. i found the sleeping got better the more active she became.

 

[DebbieM]

No advice but your not alone ...my typical night goes like this

8pm gets to sleep
8.10 faff and fuss
8.30 faff and fuss
9.00 same again
sleeps for 30 mins occasionally a whole hour ..then wriggles for an hour fussing /crawling/ sucking...

just drift off back to sleep process repeats for 20mins ...then she might sleep an hour lol ...this goes on till 7am.

Shes getting worse if anything ..I co-sleep have tried everything lol...Ive just concluded this is what its always gonna be like and expect it to never get better ... ever the pessemist ...love midna haha

Just to add she has NEVER slept through lol ..and never slept longer than 5 hours in her life .. and not longer than 2 for ages!!

Ooh, it sounds so familiar... especially last night

 

[Lis32]

Thanks for the replies, ladies... I guess it is comforting to know we are not the only ones having problems. So many people make me feel like I have somehow "broken" my baby by giving him too much attention ...

Some of the thing we have tried in an attempt to improve his sleep:

A bottle of formula before bed (he's breast fed normally. This is the only formula he's ever had. He took an 8oz bottle then slept for 1.5 hours. Only tried once- is it worth persevering?!)
Moving to his own room... (he has been in there 2 weeks now. No change except I now have further to walk)
White noise CD
Absolute silence
Blackout blinds
Started weaning
Changing nappy at each feed/ Not changing nappy during the night
Feeding in the dark
OH trying to settle him
We tried controlled crying once last week too. He cried for an hour and a half (I sobbed too) and was still awake... We gave up then. Is it worth another go?

I'm sure there are loads more, but I'm too tired to think !!

Anyone got any other suggestions?!!

 

[Squiglet]

lil miss is far better than Tia was.. although Tia was on par with Midna's seed. Tia would barely sleep longer than an hour or so... and it didn't change till she was about a year, by which point she'd dropped most of her naps during the day, even then it was only a couple of hours straight. Tia didn't start sleep through every night until she was about 6 years old. Although when she reached 3 her sleeping got a lot better.

Lil miss doesn't like sleeping although we get a good straight 3/4 hours in the evening. She only slept for 6 hours once and that was when she wasn't well. From 12am till 8am, she fusses and grumbles all night, waking about 3/4 times properly for a feed (usually 12am, 3am, 6am)... but thats good really.

As for a good nights sleep I actually feel worse when I get a good night because my body is set up to function on around 4 hours sleep... O also work 6 hours a day to so I'm usually exhausted by the end of the week. Last week lil miss was ill and I think I got about 6 hours total over the previous weekend...

But it does get better I promise... trust me... My mum always say that clever babies always have issues sleeping because there is far too much for them to learn in such a short time as 24 hours... it gave me hope anyway In the mean time revel in it, because soon the tables will turn and getting the lil monsters out of bed to get ready for school is just as exhausting although in a voice/emotional sorta way

 

[saffydreamer]

Ill join the bad sleepers club, Avas never slept through, and the minimum she has woken up is 4 times in one night, lately its been a nightmare, to the point me and Mik are in seperate rooms just so one of us can get some sleep, she goes down at 7pm sleeps until 10 if we are really lucky usually stirs a few times dummy in and she goes back to sleep, then from 11ish she is up every hour sometimes every 30mins, then at 3am shes wide awake, a few times lately ive gotton up with her, but last night i managed to get her back to sleep after about a hour and 15 mins, then she was awake at 6am, ready to go....
we have tried everything, we have a strict routine bath at 6pm Milk, rice pud story and bed! but nopers the little minx still plays up
if anyone finds the break through please bottle it and send it our way.... i havent had a full nights sleep in 10 months maybe longer coz i suffered with heartburn all night during my preg
xxxxxxxxxx
p.s h/v said to us to try controlled crying but i cant bare it, i hate seeing her upset x

 

[Lis32]

Crikey...

There are some seriously BAD sleepers out there, eh?!! Well done to you all for surviving so far. So it seems there is no magic solution...

But, on the plus side, I have been having a good nose round the forum and have found a place I might want to hang out... The 'NO SLEEP CLUB'!

Fingers crossed tonight is the night all our little darlings finally give us a break .

 

[Redshoes]

Are you co-sleeping or is he in a cot?
Isaac co-slept then went into his cot around 6months, with a dummy, finally, and he changed and started sleeping alone, which made a great difference for me, but he still woke frequently and still does. If I could do it, I would now definitely be moving Isaac into his own room, in his cot/cotbed and give controlled crying a go, but he's nearly 14months, I wouldn't have done that at 6months. I wish I could help but personally I found a dummy was the best thing at that age, as he would happily settle with it and stay settled so I didn't have to stay with him, no idea what would have happened had he not took a dummy I now go and lay down with him until he falls asleep, then leave him, going back in to re-settle him if he loses his dummy, then moving him into his cot when we go to bed as he's on our bed. Definitely not what I thought I'd be doing but in a 1bed flat we have little else option as OH wakes him snoring anyway so no chance of starting any viable routine for him
Really hope he settles into a more sleepful routine for you soon, but some babies just don't, so take every opportunity you can to rest, and let others support you if you can, very best wishes, you're not alone

 

[newmum]

Every time I write a post of LO sleeping, we have an even worse night so I am just going to say
She is 10 months now and has only slept through ( 8 hours) 3 times and twice that was with nurofen when she was ill
We are working on a plan at the moment. WIll let you know if it works.

 

[Pregnopaws]

I have to join the bad sleepers club too i'm afraid. If Connor falls asleep around 7-8pm he will be up again around 9 or 10pm as if it was just a nap. Sometimes he doesn't completely go to sleep fully until midnight by which time hubby and I are both exhausted and hoping for a full nights sleep. Never!!! He will be awake again anywhere between 2-4 am for a feed, where I started putting him in the bed and breastfeeding him on and off for the rest of the night (hoping to get more rest that way). Bad move.... it is such a habit now that even if he is not hungry he will wake up in the middle of the night for a feed! He doesn't really cry out he just kicks his legs and moans constantly until he gets what he wants. We even tried giving a hungry baby milk pre-bedtime to see if he would sleep through but nothing. Only a couple of times has he actually slept through the night until 7 or 8 am and I have no idea why that happened either! I don't know how to get him to sleep through, I've been told he'll settle eventually? Great..!

 

[MissThing]

Ill join you too girls

Daniel soon will be 11!!!! months old and stillno signs of sleeping through

He was almoust there a month ago,but then he got a terrible stomach bug and now its even worse He has his bottle at 7, goes to bed ok, then sometimes tirrs a couple of times (dummy usually helps), then he wakes up anywhere from 10 to 11pm for another bottle. And, what happens lately is, that he wakes up about 12am or 1am and decides, that the only place he will sleep in will be mummies bed right next to her, and, no thanks daddy is not requred (at this point DH has to go to the other bedroom). He falls back to sleep then and sometimes sleeps till 3 am or 5, when he wakes up for a bottle or cuddle or dummy or just wanting to fall asleep by me holding him! (all the time through the night he constantly checks if im there by grabbing me or looking for my hair). After that he usually falls back to sleep tillabout 6 (if I am lucky till 6.30). Sometimes he wakes up a couple of times for the dummy. Of course, I cant sleep at all (I sort of switch of, but im not sleeping).

In the morning I hand him over to my DH and then he lets me sleep for a couple of hours untill he has to start work

I am so incredibly tired. All the time ]

I cant stand controlled crying. Daniel is just getting so upset that its not normal anymore.

(just had to RUN upstairs, cos Daniel woke up screaming and the only way I could calm him down and get him back to sleep was to hold him in my arms close to me and pacing the room up and down, when eventually he fell asleep I had to sit with him like that (asleep) for a while before I could put him down in his cot)

Basically what I want to say is, that what we will try (and if somebody will say its wrong, try not sleeping a single unbroken night in 10 and a half months (even longer if count last 2 months of pregnancy)) is Medised for a couple of nights just to try to break the habit.

 

[michaels]

I'm a daddy of a bad sleeper, can I join in?

Little Tom's jut over a week old and he's been a terrible sleeper. I decided to go out and buy a book, not sure of the name right now, it's the one written by the famous nanny that's never had her own kids

Anyway, we've found that it works pretty well. I made an addition to it as a friend advised it was a good idea. To make sure Tom sleeps as much as possible during the night we:

1. Do a half feed at 5pm.
2. Bath straight after
3. Massage with baby lotion
4. Give him the rest of his feed.

Nb. (He breastfeeds) so...

5. Top him up from a cup (or bottle if you like) with expressed milk.
6. He then goes to sleep at 7pm and sleeps through till 10pm.
7. Feed him at 10pm
8. Give him another top up straight away.
9. He will the hopefully sleep well and then wake for one feed at 3am and another at 7am.

It's working so far but sods law it'll all go to pot tonight now that I've written this

The reason I've found it works is that if you keep them up in the early evening they get so tired they can't feed off the breast very well. So a good sleep before 10pm seems to solve that. A top up also works well so they don't wake up after 2 hours for another feed.

Please please please let this keep working

 

[purple13]

i'm in this club too

on a good night, connor will go to bed at 9pm. but he's up at 2.30, 4.30 and 6.30 for feeding. and he rarely sleeps during the day. like pregnopaws' connor, mine doesn't cry at night - he just kicks me til i put a boob in his gob

i'm just used to not sleeping much any more. we had one night last week when he slept from 10pm til 4.30am (same night his tooth came through) and i was absolutely shattered the next day