Separate names with a comma.
Discussion in 'Growing Up' started by sazzylou, Jan 16, 2008.
removed - dont want my daughters name on here
Thats awful honey, poor little mite!!! Im glad you said something to him, I think ill go mad if Ruby gets bullied, ive a bit of a short fuse when it comes to things like that. Give her a big hug from me
thanks, i will
Its so hard......i love kids, but i really wanted to givehim a clip roiund the ear 'ole! I never thought id wish violence against a small person
Its annoying cos the parents are sooooooo oblivious too. Id be gutted if i thought Beth was upsetting other kids at school
I think i'll give it until the end of the week and see how it goes, but i reckon im gonna have to go into the school again
As a former class teacher (now advisory) I have always despised any form of bullying and did my very best to ensure it did not happen and work together with parents. Do do do go back to the school. I know from experience some teachers and heads (not all) are reluctant to acknowledge bullying and can be laid back about it (they say things like, it's a part of growing up.... they don't mean it etc.) Sometimes they just don't notice it (too busy/distracted/think ch.will resolve it between themselves etc.) But it's not good enough if your DD is still being bullied and is unhappy. here are some suuggestions for you....
Write down the incidents that your DD tells you about (date, time, context(class/playground/lining up) Go in speak to the teacher again, outline the incidents and ask what Teacher will do about it. If they try to fob you off, say what YOU want to happen..practical things.... e.g. DD and boys to be separated during lining up/assemblies, children not to be seated near each other, your DD to be told she CAN be assertive to boys who are bullying her and specifically HOW to be assertive (e.g. to say clearly to them "I don't like it when you do that, STOP IT!" and that she CAN tell member of staff if boys persist. Also your DD tohave a "buddy" in class/playground who will help her to be assertive if she has trouble with this. Whatever you get T to agree on arrange another meeting to review the situation (say a week's time). If things are better GREAT! If not, say you are not happy and you want a meeting with Head Teacher (with or without class teacher) and book appt. to complain. Have a similar meeting with Head where you agree actions and review a week later. If you still don't get anywhere go through formal complaints procedure of school (write to Governors). all the time keep notes on your meetings and if staff twist your words or you find they say later they didn't agree on things then insist on minutes being taken at meeting and both sign to agree actions (proof) or take a 3rd party (partnership with parents are v good for that).
Also, ask to see their anti-bullying policy see what school outlines as their policy and action they take. You can question this if need be.
Hope this helps. Keep on at school - those who shout the loudest often get action in my experience!!!! Good luck. [/b]
i had the same problem with my son!! for a year he was badly bullied by a boy who the teachers could not do anythingbecasue the other boy had adhd! My son eneded up in hospital having a emergency mri scan as he was violently sick and severe headaches daily and we found out it was down to the bullying! the head did nothing just said theres no bullying in my school, my son came home with hand marks where thsi kid tried to strangle him black eye where he was punched and we had daily visits to the school!! my son is quiet and shy and would not hurt a fly which made it worse!! His teacher just said not much we can do as the other lad had adhd he didnt mean it( so my son was suppose to put up with it) we took it to the governers and the school nurse got involved because she felt the school was not doing enough! we nearly moved schools over it! in the end after the summer hols they changed class still in same class BUT a much stricter teacher and low and behold the bullying has stopped the teacher he has now does not allow bullying and got on top of it straight away!!The head was useless she didnt want to know but now its all sorted but schools do make you feel like your being a pain when you complain!!
hope you get it all sorted please feel free to pm if you want a chat
thank you very much for advice everyone!!
Beatlesfan - im definitley going to do what you said and write everything down, See, on therir own, the incidents dont seem that bad, 'kids being kids' and all that...but theyre not always one off's. The last lot went on for about 3 or 4 weeks with it starting out as the boy saying "i hate you" "go away" "shut up" and stuff and then slowely got worse to where he was punching and scratching her in assemley
Im not sure whose more upset about it, me or her, lol, but know they intimidate her. She told me she was scared this morning
Anyway, thanks again for the advice! I shall keep an eye on the situation and if need be , i'll see the head. She used to be Beths class teacher and is aware of the last problem and shes really nice, so i hope she can put a stop to it finally xxxxxxxx
aaarw poor Bethany, I hope it gets sorted fast hun
No worries. I feel strongly about bullying and all the low level stuff is just as bad as hitting etc. good luck keep us posted.
I can't stand bullying and working at a school if i see anyone bullying i always try and do something about it. You don't expect 6 -7 year olds to be bullied and I hope you manage to get your daughters school to do something about it.
On a similar note my son has just come in covered in some sort of gooey stuff- he thought the boys who live next door but one had done it too him so i have been and said my piece to them but they say it was another boy. The best thing is i work at the school so i'll be collaring him tomorrow.
Sorry for my little rant there I am absolutely fuming.
emma - im not surprised youre fuming! Its horrible when its your kid, ive been wound up all day about these boys at beth's school
But on a brighter note, the head actually approached me this afternoon as i was picking beth up to ask how the situation with this boy was (from the last time i spoke to her) so i had a chance to tell her everything that had happened and she said she'd get it sorted She really is lovely, so im hoping she can stop them once and for all. Beths so quiet you see, she finds it really hard to stick up for herself which is probably why they do it
Kate79 - sorry to hear about your son being bullied My nephew has ADHD (he's 18 now) but he was a right little sod at school. He was violent, but they NEVER let him get away with anything. He was more volatile than most kids, but my brother and his wife, and the school never looked on that as an excuse.
Hope it gets sorted hun - we had this for years and went into school countless times - admittedly they thought they were doing something - but still giving this boy opportunities. It got to the point where he tried to push DH over a balcony in the 5 minutes he had with him in a day and when I went into school they basically said they couldn't watch him every minute of every day
we went down the parent route - had a loud conversation (so everyone could hear) with the father who my mum gave a few loud parenting tips to (he claimed being unemployed made it impossible to discipline his child my mum pointed out that this meant he had more time. ) She offered to wait for them at the top of the school drive each day to let them know what their son had done - so they could sort it out the mother got a bit gobby saying punches in the arm and kicks weren't really bullying and her son was "frustrated" (he was something beginning with f...) - so my mum asked whether it was ok then if she did it to her
then as she was also frustrated
the bullying stopped
Awww poor little mite, i hope you get it sorted and fast, them kids need to be stopped. xxx
Poor Bethaney! I hope shes ok and agree with above, get it sorted and keep pushing if you dont get any joy - you dont want your daughter as another bullying statistic.
Give her a cuddle for me - and I hope that horrible little shítbag leaves her alone sorted. Age is no excuse, my nephew is 4 and attends school and they have a strict np bullying policy and Nathan wouldnt dream of picking on anyone, he always grasses the other kids up if there mean to him or each other
Good luck though, I was a bullied when her age and it was very damaging so I hope it mstops soonand they leave her alone.
THATS a long rant??? I'd be absolutely fuming.... and my rant would go on for pages...
Things are different here in Spain... I can say to her to turn around and smack the other kids back without fear because the policy here is to punish all kids involved in a fight, so the best way of getting bullies to stop here is getting them in trouble too...
Tia's had bullying problems every year... this year it's a couple of older girls on the playground that give her problems... I told her to fight back, she did and all the kids got in trouble... and the girls then backed down...
The year before it was a group of boys... I informed the teacher that boys were picking on her...pointing out that they were bigger and stronger... Theres a huge drive towards ending domestic violence here, and I told the teachers that they were setting these kids up for beating up their girlfriends in the future... and OMG did they come down on these boys like a ton of bricks... now one of the boys follows Tia around and protects her.
It really hurt me a lot when she was younger as I was bullied really badly and I remember how horrible it was... So my heart goes out to your little one.
I don't know what the procedure is in the UK for bullying, but I know I'd be down that school everyday complaining until they were sick of me, if I found out that my little girl was getting picked on by older boys. Not to mention me imagining following the little torags home and loping off their valubles.
thanks again everyone, its nice to know im not overeacting. I think sometimes i can feel a bit like an over the top mother, but i just wont stand for it
She had a much happier day yesterday. They seemed to leave her alone, so as long as it continues this way she'll be alright It breaks my heart to thin k shes being hurt though
I really wish she could stand up for herself a bit more though. Maybe if she said something back to them, they might think twice, but she wont. Shes so quiet and sensitive, bless her, she just sits there all quietly taking whatever crap they give her.
Bullying is bloody horrible, and im sorry to hear about all your little ones who have been through it. Like ive said, i was bullied and theres no way on earth i want my baby to go through that. I'll leave it with the school for now, but i know who the mothers are and im sure they would be mortified if i were to mention it in front of other peopl in the playground....but i'll keep it in mind
Anyway, thanks again everyone xxx