Brother and sister-in-law want things their way.

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by Habayadowa, Aug 24, 2019.

  1. Habayadowa

    Habayadowa New Member

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    I'm new here but just wanted to vent and get some advice from people separated from the situation. I am a few days short of 12wks pregnant with my first child. EDD: March 7th.
    Sorry this is a long one.

    We told my brother and his wife basically as soon as we learned I was pregnant, since they have 3 children and I wanted advice. Big mistake. Since then they have spent every moment I've talked to them telling me what I'm doing wrong including diet/Dr appts/working/ect and how we need to grow up and be serious from now on. But also telling me to quit my job and get on wic/assistance... I could go on for days, but the biggest issue is our friend.

    See, we own our own home and have a friend who needed somewhere to stay very short term, ~3 months because he's moving back from out of town and needed some time to settle in and find his own place. He is paying rent, as well as helping with things we need to fix around the house. But the only room we have spare is my office which will soon be the nursery. He will be gone by November, yet my brother and his wife have decided this is unacceptable, and threatened to come over and evict him themselves, as well as alluded to calling cps for the baby not having it's own room(who won't even be born yet). I told them firmly it's my husbands and my decision who stays in this home, and that it in no way changes or effects our love and concern for our child and was hung up on.

    They are very firm in their beliefs and can not be convinced otherwise, and to them giving a helping hand to someone else takes it away from my own family. I'm concerned that they are serious about coming over and causing problems, and have no idea how to deal with this situation.

    Thanks for reading and any advice on how to approach this situation is appreciated.
     
  2. Lollypop79

    Lollypop79 Well-Known Member

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    Wow. That must be very difficult. I think in this situation it’s best to just take what they say with a pinch of salt. In other words ignore them. With regards to your temporary house guest this is hilarious. They have no rights at all. He will be leaving in November like you said and generally you keep the baby in the same room as you for the first 6 months. This is recommended for safe sleeping. In a Moses basket or crib next to you.
    So threatening to call cps is bloody disgusting. I’d tell them to back off on that one. A baby not having it’s own room doesn’t mean a thing. They need love, food, warmth and somewhere to sleep. That’s it. If they do turn up just don’t let them in. I’m sorry your going through this it must be very stressful xx
     
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  3. WinterWolf

    WinterWolf Well-Known Member

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    My 7 month old has never slept in her own room lol so your mate will be gone a year before your baby actually needs it's room. Just ignore them, they're being mental. If they really do knock on the door don't answer and if they call cps, well, they'll look stupid! Cps would tell them to jog on. I'd say they're bluffing though.
     
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  4. night owl

    night owl Well-Known Member

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    Yeah I echo the good advice from lolly and winterwolf, your brother and sil sound a bit intense, the baby will not need it’s own room for a while yet, my baby is 18 weeks old and I can’t envisage her being in her own room any time soon! One thing I would say though is being firm about your house guest definitely having other arrangements made for when the baby is born as you will just want to be in your own bubble really x
     
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  5. Habayadowa

    Habayadowa New Member

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    Thanks everyone! I have completely ignored all contact from them unless I hear an apology, which I doubt is going to happen. And I have been firm with our guest and have it on writing when he'll be leaving, which after all this I think he's even more eager to leave lol
     

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