broken :(

Discussion in 'Pregnancy Chat' started by katie22, Apr 20, 2016.

  1. katie22

    katie22 Member

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    hi guys,
    i am 7 weeks pregnant. i have also just found out that my partner has been having an affair with his ex. this has totally ruined me. i don't know what to do,say or think. I'm not even excited about my pregnancy anymore. i don't want to do all of this on my own. he keeps saying that e wanted to try and work things out but i can barely look at him let alone anything else. please can someone offer me some advice, I'm totally helpless all I'm doing lately is sitting in the dark in my bedroom not even talking to anyone. i don't want to be like this anymore, this is meant to be one of the happiest times of my life and I'm miserable.

    sorry for the depressing post i just diddnt know where else to turn.
    thanks xx
     
  2. Jojo84

    Jojo84 Well-Known Member

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    Can you forgive him for it? If so tell him you know and try to fix things. See why he is having the fair and see if it's something you can work on together and if he is willing to work on it and cut all ties with his ex. Some relationships just have blips, some things can be fixed in time... It wouldn't be easy but if you feel like you can move on then do what's best for you.

    If you can't, then throw him out on his ass, hold your head up high and carry on. You can do not alone, it won't be easy but you can do it.
     
  3. KeelyT90

    KeelyT90 Well-Known Member

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    Now he's cheated it's going to be very hard to trust and respect him like you did prior to the affair. Can you forgive and forget or would it be more beneficial to move on?
    My ex was a complete pig from start to finish and I was pregnant when I decided enough was enough and bringing up my boy on my own is the most satisfying achievement of my life. I wouldn't change it for the world. It was me who enjoyed all his firsts..... He still sees his dad, once a fortnight sat until sun but that's dwindling down now. He's not seen him for a month and doesn't want him overnight on his next visit.

    I have a new partner now, we are expecting another baby and if I hadn't have made that decision to leave I wouldn't have found my OH who is the nicest man I could ask for so it proves there's better out there. And he's stepped up and been more of a father figure my ex could ever be.

    You need to do what's right for you and your baby, don't be scared. You're going to a be a mum. Mums are like super heroes, we can do anything ;)

    In your decision if you decide to stay with him and you can't shake off the thoughts, just consider your little one witnessing the hurt and things. X
     
  4. Prettypee

    Prettypee Well-Known Member

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    I am so sorry that you're going through this. If you think you can get over it, then you definitely need to talk but bear in mind the next 8 months-18months will put pressure on most good relationships let alone struggling ones.

    Personally I couldn't get over something like that. I have a very low tolerance for cheating and I am to emotional, i wouldnt be able to move on as others can.

    Put yourself first. What would you have done if you weren't pregnant? You don't have to be in a relationship with the father to bring up a child, I'm sure he would still want to co-parent? I think it's best for a child to be bought up around love happiness and calm. So long term what will make you happy?

    So sorry you're in this position hun xx

    Sent from my D6603 using Tapatalk
     
  5. naomi88

    naomi88 Well-Known Member

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    Really sorry to hear this :-(

    The decision has got to be one you make really. In your shoes I don't think I could forgive, but you have to decide that for yourself really. What I would say is you'd need to make sure you thought it would never happen again. One of my best friends has just left her husband - they have a two year old boy but her husband has cheated with various people over the last 6 years. He kept saying sorry each time she found out but would then go out and do it again. Some people can change, but others don't seem to be able to (at least while they are still with the same person - they just get back into the old routine or whatever).

    I am sure whatever decision you make, you will still have a wonderful time being a mummy xxx
     
  6. sammielou

    sammielou Well-Known Member

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    That is awful and I'm so sorry you are going through that.

    I know its hard, but please please don't sit in the dark. Take good care of yourself - eat well, get fresh air, connect with friends/family/anyone who isn't him right now. If there is no one you trust with these things, then even going to see a doctor might help - just to talk it through with someone. My head was in a real mess when I found out I was pregnant because of other things going on in my life, and just talking to my GP about it helped so much.

    I know it doesn't feel like it right now, but this awfulness will pass one way or another. You've got 33 weeks to go - the world can and will feel very different to you by then. You'll get your happy times - with or without him.
     
  7. Aries29

    Aries29 Well-Known Member

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    What an A hole!
    It's your choice end of the day to either forgive and forget or get rid
    Will he cheat again ?
    You can raise a child alone , it is possible , I have . My son has ADHD and Austim too . I have managed to qualify as a neuro nurse whilst being a single mum - so anything is possible

    It's down to you what you do
    I doubt you'll be able to respect trust and believe anything he says in the future and you'll be wondering where he is and how long he's been at work etc - clock watching

    Never settle for anything less then you truly deserve - there's plenty of men out there willing to take his place - believe me !!

    He will realize the grass isn't always greener !
    Focus on your baby to get you through this horrid time

    The old age saying " THIS TOO SHALL PASS "
    Xxxxx love and hugs - keep safe
     
    #7 Aries29, Apr 26, 2016
    Last edited: Apr 26, 2016
  8. raisingingrid

    raisingingrid Active Member

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    First off; every woman deserves respect and love. Period. ESPECIALLY when you are pregnant. If he cheated once, he will do it again and if you take him back, that will only give him another chance to branch out, whether it be his ex or another person. Pretty soon, he is going to take advantage of you working on forgiving him and it's going to be a vicious cycle. You need to stick up for YOU and YOUR BABY. If you keep taking him back and he keeps cheating, that is going to be so much stress and worry not only on you, but for baby as well...and you need to keep that baby a first priority. If he wants to mess around with another woman and doesn't have time to be with you and the baby, screw him. You are MORE than capable to stitch your heart back together; especially when your little bundle arrives. He needs to treat you like you like the best thing you are, and since he isn't, I personally don't think he deserves your love, and love, especially, from the baby. You need to be strong for you and your babe...you can do it.
     

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