Breastfeeding vs bottle feeding?

Discussion in 'Baby & Toddler' started by violet13, Jan 13, 2016.

  1. violet13

    violet13 Well-Known Member

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    Hi ladies,

    I stupidly and I mean that joined a page on fbook and have had some horrific comments when I posted my story with breastfeeding and going to bottle. What I'd like to know is who has breast fed every baby and who has done both bottle and breast and those who just did bottle, did you receive support for your choices? And who is still getting grief or angry comments for switching doing both or just one of them. It was pretty hurtful tbh I just asked for advice which was when Harrison was 9 weeks and I only just got responses he's now
    15 weeks old, honestly I'd never go on any other page or forum because of it. Also anyone gone to bottle and then gone back to breast when their milk has gone? My HV has actually suggested I go back to which has confused me greatly tbh as it caused me to have depression and high anxiety problems regarding feeding which in turn made Harrison jittery. Thank you for your advice/ story shares xxx
     
    #1 violet13, Jan 13, 2016
    Last edited: Jan 13, 2016
  2. Shepherdess

    Shepherdess Well-Known Member

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    I've been breastfeeding now for 8.5 months and have mainly received support. Once I got to 6 months I had a few people comment that there was no need for me to continue to bf and I should switch to bottle but my response was to quote a few facts and say it was none of their business.

    Ignore the negativity, do what is best for you, it would have been impossible for anyone to make me feel bad on my choice to bf as on this subject I have the confidence to stand up for myself (other subjects not so much) and tell people to bugger off

    The last thing any mother needs is to feel down and depressed about their choice, as long as baby is fed no one should comment.
     
  3. Emily0505

    Emily0505 Well-Known Member

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    I combi fed for seven weeks when I had my son.

    I had supply issues so was advised to top up with formula. I tried all sorts to increase my breast milk- fed on demand from both breasts as well as pumping every three hours, I took fenugreek supplements and was put onto a drug called domperidone to try and boost supply but it didn't work.

    I stopped because Cam was getting really frustrated at the breast as the milk just wasn't there to satisfy him.

    At the end of the day hun. If you want to ff then ff, if you want to bf but are struggling then I would pop song to a bf support group as they will be able to offer you further advice and support.

    Try and ignore any unhelpful comments hun. Unfortunately bf and ff is one of those topics where passions and opinions run high and things can get heated.

    XX
     
  4. nicky1987

    nicky1987 Well-Known Member

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    My first was breastfed exclusively for 6 months until the day before I went back to work. My second I exclusively breastfed for 5 weeks and am in the process of switching to formula. It's not what I wanted to but she was a very big baby unlike my first and is so hungry that she wanted feeding every hour! With a toddler aswell I couldn't keep up with that at all and was getting really upset with it all! It's not what I wanted but it is what it is and as long as she's happy and healthy then that's fine! X
     
  5. CDx

    CDx Well-Known Member

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    I was unable to breastfeed because I was seriously ill after my son was born and ended up in high dependency for 3 days on morphine and other medication. He had already been formula fed by midwives before I was stabilised as I needed a c-sec under general anisthetic. I had always leaned more towards formula feeding throughout my pregnancy because of anxiety and confidence issues if I was out with my son and I felt if I was uptight that couldn't be a pleasant experience for my son, but don't like how that along with other things were taken out of my hands in the end.

    I genuinely think it's disgusting how so many people try to force their opinions or views onto other people. New mums have enough to worry about without someone ramming what they did down their throat and adding guilt into 101 other emotions. As long as your baby is fed and all their nutritional needs are met where it comes from is completely down to you.

    Cx
     
  6. Glordag

    Glordag Well-Known Member

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    I've breastfed three. 2 to 9m and still feeding this little monkey at 2!! He's a complete addict. I joined an fb breastfeeding group for advice on how to gently get him to stop. I never posted on the group but the attitudes on there towards bottle feeding was hideous. The women on there were so self congratulating and vitriolic against non breast feeders. So rude and judgmental that I was totally shocked. I had to come off the page.
    I've had the odd comment about feeding him for so long but I don't really care. Each baby/parent/situation is different and you just have to do what works for you x
     
  7. Kiagirl

    Kiagirl Well-Known Member

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    I chose to bottle feed Lucie. I did the first colostrum feed but then switched to formula. I had a few midwives and hv question my decision beforehand. I just said straight, I have read the facts etc but it's my decision and I've made it and they respected that. Formula suited my lifestyle, it meant my OH could bond with Lucie and feed her as I was returning to work early. She was a contented baby who didn't cry for 3 months. At 2 1/2 we have never had a sleepless night with her, she sleeps out one night a week at mums and has done since 4 weeks. It was 100% the right decision for us. Lucie is healthy and happy and has been since day 1. Does this make me a bad mother? No way, people who do/say such hurtful things have something missing in their lives. Do what you feel is right, it's your body and your baby. Xx
     
  8. violet13

    violet13 Well-Known Member

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    Thank you ladies, me and the hubby have talked about bfeeding again as with my aniexty and depression issues I'm easily withdrawn and can be swayed to whoevers wanting me to sway and we've both agreed Ff is the best choice we've had some feeding problems already with it but now Harrison is back to how he was feeding. He fussed a lot at the breast before I stopped it was so stressful and I also panicked some times he wasn't getting enough he was latched for up to 2 hours and feeding every half an hour when off and still crying but I knew o had milk so no formula is for us I just wanted to know what you all did and how you found it tbh I don't want my HV to try and sway me back to bfeeding when I know it'll cause me have a major aniexty attack it's just trying to get them to back off as they do go on. I was ff and I have a fab immune system I don't even think my mum gave me colostrum either. I've left the page it's just playing on my mind I never think I'm being a good enough mum as it is!

    Got to say well done to you all for being firm in how you chose to fed your babas :) xxx
     
  9. MumsyLou

    MumsyLou Active Member

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    I know you got the answers you were needing Violet, but just wanted to share my experience. When DS was born early, I began expressing (I wasnt planning on BFing) due to his ill health and the insistence of midwives and health visitors and whilst I was certainly glad I tried it, as he was early I found my supply dried up within 3 weeks. I was a FTM and I was young so didnt want to seem rude, and the neonatal nurses informed me when I considered moving to formula that they weren't even allowed to RECOMMEND a formula or be seen to be "supporting" formula feeding infants.

    Since then, I've came to realise HV pushed what the NHS tell them to push. Quite rightly, as BFign is certainly the best for your LO, however, if the stress of trying to BF is affecting you and LO, don't be pushed into a decision for your baby. I was told my LB picked up vomiting/diarrhea in the waiting room, after having the live norovirus vaccine :roll: My LO is formula fed, and he's in 95th centile! (thats after being 4lb born prem). I feel very strongly that second time round, I would tell alot more people to sod off! My mother used to tell me the ones who cry sainthood loudest usually have the biggest horns to hide :lol: Given another go, I'd probably ebf, given my supply came in well enough, but I wouldn't beat myself up like I did last.
     
    #9 MumsyLou, Jan 14, 2016
    Last edited: Jan 14, 2016
  10. lizziimayy

    lizziimayy Well-Known Member

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    Currently breastfeeding my 8 month old girl. Unfortunately those breastfeeding groups can get pretty brutal. Some women on there just think that they're better than anyone else :/
     
  11. ShowingPromise

    ShowingPromise Well-Known Member

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    I couldn't bf My lo due to tongue tie so I expressed for the first 3 weeks. Having had a horrid birth it was very tough and I couldn't keep up with what he needed so switched to formula.
    The thing I found frustrating is that we all have breast is best drilled into us at ante natal classes etc, so I tried to bf, couldn't due to tongue tie but yet we couldn't get an appt to get it cut for 8 weeks! By which point, I was told, he would be highly unlikely to be able to/want to latch as he'd be used to the ease of bottles.
    That said, I'm comfortable with my decision and couldn't care less what anyone else thinks. At a post natal group I went to I was the only mum ff and I got a couple of odd looks from other mums but that was it.
    I'm not planning to have any more children but if I did, I think I'd bottle feed. My lo is doing really well on formula, anyone in my family can look after him for us, he sleeps well etc.

    How you feed your baby is your decision, you need to be comfortable in the decision you've made and then you won't care as much what people think
     
  12. violet13

    violet13 Well-Known Member

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    Mumsylou more story shares are welcome :) I was shocked when speaking to a mum in hospital she was pushed at for a good few hours to breast feed but couldn't on one side due to being burnt as in severely so that one breast wasn't even producing milk and she was adamant she wanted to ff, they have her no help and in the end her breast engorged and tore her scar tissue from her burns so she had to have surgery and tablets to get rid of her milk but the comment I heard from a nurse was "she brought it on herself by using formula" I actually got very angry and refused to allow that nurse near me and piped up when she asked why "bet I'm okay cause I breast feed?" She never came near me again. I have nothing wrong with bf or ff but I do when people are shaming each other for either or so when the HV comes today I'll be telling her very firmly no more bfeeding we are eff and that's that. I've seen formula feeding mums not even get any help because they use formula I don't understand yes breast milk is very good but not everyone can do it so it's a bit unfair to be shamed when my child is happy healthy and fed. (Bit of a
    Ramble there) xxx
     
  13. tinselcat

    tinselcat Well-Known Member

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    I can't remember the exact stats but I think it's like, at 12 weeks only 25% and at 6 months only 1% of mums are still breastfeeding, so if you've got this far, well done!

    I think what people don't get told about before giving birth is that BF can be both very painful and very difficult. Of course some people are lucky and have no problems.

    I worked through a zillion different problems to BF and then at 9 months I had my mum telling me it was time to stop & mocking another woman she knew of who was still BF at 15 months. I ignored her, which was difficult as I was living with her at the time.

    Think my point is that everyone has their own opinion & you can't please everyone. Follow your gut and what is right for both you and baby. xx
     
  14. Shepherdess

    Shepherdess Well-Known Member

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    Aw those statistics are such a shame, I do believe women should do what's best for them but I'm currently quite proud to be in the 1%.

    I think a lot of women need more support through the challenges of breastfeeding. I was recently told by someone I know she'd been called "disgusting" by her sil for bf at 3 months, if anyone had dared to say that kind of thing to me I'd never let them see me or my baby again
     
  15. JD.Deedee

    JD.Deedee Well-Known Member

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    I grew up with breastfeeding being normal because that's what my mom did with me and my siblings.. What I didn't know until recently that we were in fact being topped up with formula from a young age (I was about 3 weeks) because of mom's working schedule and her supply actually started matching it over time so it would go back on the days I'd go to gran and come back as I'd come home.. Very convenient I suppose!

    I wanted to breastfeed and did but my OH's family is like a whole family of bottle fed babies.. I had the weirdest looks from his sisters.. He didn't support me in the way that he was so eager to start the bottle so he could feed him on demand himself.. Which isn't really what bottle feeding is made for.. Plus is cost me a bloody fortune.. Looking back I deffo would've wanted to have sought support to made breastfeeding successful especially with the ready milk being mega expensive and a ballache at times to find or to bring along.. And weaning him off it.. It seems like there's no ending yet to bottle feeding and if it was up to me, I would've ritually burned them friggin bottles because they've cost me so much money.. It's just wasteful.. Same with cloth nappies.. Currently paying about 12£ in nappies alone because the only ones that are still really suitable in size is the 6+ surpreme whatever they are from asda.. other ones cut into his skin because the bit to fasten is too narrow!

    While my OH's family gave me weird looks and weren't supportive of breastfeeding, I never once gave my SIL grief for not even wanting to give her latest newborn son at least the colostrum as she finds it too weird to breastfeed

    I must admit that the difference with me never been behind giving formula to my own son resulting in having him on ready milk is far more costly than say my SIL whose always intended on bottle feeding and thus not feeding on the demand makes a big difference in cost and amount that is given to baby I reckon...
     
  16. Pumpkin9

    Pumpkin9 Well-Known Member

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    I breastfed till 12 weeks at which point I made the decision to start to combi feed as my little boy was struggling with weight gain and I was concerned over my supply (I'd been struggling with this for over 6 weeks with limited success). It was clear very quickly that formula was the better option so we went exclusively FF at that point.

    The health visitors I spoke to were very keen for me to continue to breast fed and when I asked about the weight issues as I envisaged them they said continuing with solely breast feeding should be fine - in the end I ignored them as I ended up with a very unhappy little boy who was struggling to settle etc. Seriously the best decision I ever made. My mum was fantastic and I had no comments from any friends about it at all - my mil was less supportive but again I just ignored her.

    For whatever reason I honestly think that there is no right way when it comes to 'pleasing' other people so just crack on and do what's best for you. I know it's easier said than done but just ignore anyone that doesn't agree with your situation, it's your choice no one else's.
     
  17. El1en

    El1en Well-Known Member

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    I'm 8 months into breastfeeding and hope to continue to a year when my Lo can have cows milk.

    It's a very personal decision and for me, I just do not want to give my child formula and I'm very confident in my decision, yes it's tough and it means I can never have any time away from Lo (4 hours tops) I'm still very proud of us for getting so far. Since about 6 months I've only fed her away from home once or twice as she's so inquisitive and it's hard to feed her out and about without showing everything off and I worry about being judged.

    I think those statistics posted earlier are sad. I can't remember the actual percentage of women who "can't" breastfeed but I know it's only a very small percentage. I think more support should be given to women who would consider continuing for longer and for women who are struggling. My midwife and hv said almost all problems associated with breastfeeding could be overcome of the support is there and women wouldn't give up so soon

    I'm not saying I'd try to force it on anyone or judge those who don't want to but I believe if more support were there more women would continue

    No one has the right to comment on how you feed your child or make you feel bad for your decision
     
  18. Rooster30

    Rooster30 Well-Known Member

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    I FF my son, but I BF my daughter for 2-3 months (can't remember when I stopped). My daughter took well to BFing but it did infruiate me. The day I stopped was when she was on me all day and when she wasn't on me she was crying. We were both frustrated - me because I couldn't understand why she was frustrated. Something had to give so introduced the bottle so I at least knew whether she was getting enough food.

    BF is so so hard. Strangely, I found it much easier at the beginning. She'd feed, sleep for a few hours, wake and feed and it just wasn't an issue, easy peasy. Gradually she became more unsettled, rarely napped (always slept well at night) and always cried and I didn't know whether my milk was satisfying her enough. Due to the uncertainty I switched to FF - ultimately I just wanted her settled and after a reflux diagnosis, bottles and gaviscon she eventually turned into a happier baby.

    That is just what suited us both. I certainly hold no judgement on however people feed their babies. Every baby and mother is different.
     
  19. CARNAT22

    CARNAT22 Well-Known Member

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    How you feed your baby is no one else's damn business and it makes me so mad one woman would make a another feel bad about her choice. It's a massively contentious issue for some but I just don't get the angst. You do what is best for you and your baby.

    I expressed for James for 8 weeks then moved to formula as I foubd expressing completely soul destroying. I have breast fed Beatrice from birth (still feeding now and she is 1, plan to continue as long as she wants me to). I did what suited each baby.

    Please don't feel bad for what you choose.

    X
     
  20. Karenb

    Karenb Well-Known Member

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    Totally agree with the post above, every baby and situation differs so you just do what suits. Bf is soooo hard at first but I'm at 7 months and happy- although I do now want to stop day time feeds but Sophie won't have any of it!! Next time I'll definitely introduce a bottle once a day to avoid the situation I'm in now.
     

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