Blah!

Discussion in 'Trying to Conceive' started by PeanutButter, Apr 19, 2016.

  1. PeanutButter

    PeanutButter Well-Known Member

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    I keep being invited to baby stuff, baby showers, christenings, birthday parties etc. I've avoided going since the second miscarriage but I think it's starting to get noticed.
    My family isn't any help at all, they don't think I'm bothered by it because apparently 'I'm over it' ... I've been making excuses, and they just come back with stuff like ... 'ohhhh and why are you not going to this one' before i even know it's happening.
    If i go I'll just be miserable, and if i don't people will just think I'm being a dick.
    I have a christening in July, and there are going to be 2 new borns, 5 under 1s and a few toddlers, and ofc pregnant people. I know it's been a couple months, but when I see new borns or pregnant women i get upset and think why not me etc.
    Also supposed to go to a baby shower the start to may, for my cousin (I've mentioned on here before) who has the same due date as I did with my first mc. How the fuck am i supposed to go to that and not get emotional?! People are just like ohh get over it, celebrate what's here and now. Fair enough but I was still pregnant, and I still lost something huge.
    I guess people don't understand until they've been through it.
    Anyone have any advice on how to handle starting to go to things like this again? xx
     
  2. Aes1990

    Aes1990 Well-Known Member

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    I have no advice just wanted to give massive hugs xxx


     
  3. Charlotte9

    Charlotte9 Well-Known Member

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    Aww sweetie I know how you feel. :hug:. If you are uncomfortable going to another baby shower may be make an excuse just before the party? You need to think about yourself in the first place. xxx

    Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using Tapatalk
     
  4. snowbee

    snowbee Well-Known Member

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    I think just be honest with them. Send a little note saying thank you for the invite but you are unable to attend as you are finding it all just too raw with your recent mcs, say hope that have a lovely day and that you would like to arrange to catch up with them sometime soon when there aren't as many other people.

    Then if they are dicks about it then they aren't worth being friends with (I know this is far harder with family). We don't get invited to anything with babies and children (as we don't have them) and I find this more upsetting as all our friends are moving on and we never see them anymore.
     
  5. BecaM

    BecaM Well-Known Member

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    Aww Hun. Have you been to se anyone about your troubles? Maybe your gp can help, sometimes talking to someone really helps. I suffer from depression and when it all gets too much I go see someone. Xx
     
  6. PeanutButter

    PeanutButter Well-Known Member

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    I did suffer with depression as a teenager, and was on anti depressants. I did go see my gp about it, and he said I need to see a counsellor, but told me to give it a couple weeks to see how I feel :/ my doctors are useless. I haven't been back about it, plus if they offer me tablets again I'll say no, as I've herd your not allowed to ttc when on them? Also the last lot sent me crazy aha!
    I'm doing ok, some weeks all I do is cry and stay in my pj's... then some weeks I'll be fine and became a domestic goddess xD
    My husband thinks it'll do me good to get a job, but I suffer with anxiety, and half the time i cant leave the house. Don't think he really understands how much I hate/worry about going out.
     
  7. BecaM

    BecaM Well-Known Member

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    Have you tried contacting mind? They're good at sorting things out xx
     
    #7 BecaM, Apr 20, 2016
    Last edited: Apr 20, 2016
  8. snowbee

    snowbee Well-Known Member

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    You can ttc and be pregnant on certain anti depressants, don't let that put you off. If you feel your doctor isn't giving you the support you need can you change to a different doctor or get a second opinion?
     
  9. Sparklegirl

    Sparklegirl Well-Known Member

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    Some people can be so insensitive its astounding. I dont know if people 'get over' situations like this, perhaps learn to accept or live it it but I hate that phrase get over it. Silly people dont know what they are talking about.

    Is there any sort of volunteer places you could go to on an as and when basis- so just when you feel up to it? I have anxiety and OCD and its not easy at all. If you do decide to go for counselling, look into what they have at your doctors surgery- the ones working in my practice are called First Step practitioners and they are not qualified therapists. These tend to use CBT and its all about hitting government targets and getting people in and out within 6 weeks max. They call themselves counsellors which bugs me because I did the hard yards and am properly qualified, but just make sure whoever you find are right for you xx
     

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