Bad day at work but so thankful

Discussion in 'Second Trimester' started by tots hope, Dec 13, 2007.

  1. tots hope

    tots hope Well-Known Member

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    Just found out today that two ladies i am in the same team as have miscarried. Apparently they were a day out from each other and both miscarried on the same day. They were both 9 weeks.

    Thankfully neither of them are in work (don't mean to sound selfish) so i wont have to see them but im sure when they come back things are going to be pretty stressful for all three of us.

    I would normally be one of the first to say something to someone in this situation but i feel really bad for both and im guessing i am probably the last person they want to speak to.
     
  2. floppit

    floppit Well-Known Member

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    Why not send them both a little note? That way they can deal with what they feel privately if they wish but also know that you're ok about talking to them if they want to break the ice?

    I know when I was having a really rough year with hubby ill (totally different but...) I really valued choices. On the one hand I struggled if people avoided the situation when I knew they knew but I also got really numb/hurt/'invaded' having to repeat the situation when I really didn't want to. I changed line manager right towards the end of the really difficult time when I been off twice on special leave and I asked if he wanted all the details - he gave me the choice whether I told him, let me know he was willing to listen but that I didn't have to. THAT WAS PRICELESS! About a year later some of the stress of those events caught up with me and I chose to tell him some stuff, because it wasn't forced it felt different.

    I know it's a very different situation but it's the only one where I've had to face work and workmates with extremely emotionally stuff happening- it's the best I can offer really.
     
  3. debecca

    debecca Well-Known Member

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    My good friend was due the same time as me and she miscarried at 14 weeks... I sent flowers through the post and let her know that we were around but that we would understand if they didn't want to see us for a while (that was the great advice of the girls on here - thank you)

    Since then we have met up with them a few times and it's been fine. They wanted to tell us the details but I guess some people wouldn't.

    Good luck - just don't be awkward xxx
     
  4. timsmom

    timsmom Well-Known Member

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    A very good friend of mine, who was due a few weeks before me miscarried at 19 weeks. I wrote to her , telling her I was here if she needed me but that I understood if it was too painful to see me. Her hubby called me back as she knew she would cry and didn't want to upset me!!!. We've seen each other since and I don't shout about my pregnancy, she's been good enough to ask how things are going. I felt awkward to begin with but thats passed now.

    Having lost a baby myself, the worst thing anyone can do is avoid you, I had good friends (or so I thought)cross the street to avoid me, because they didn't know what to say.
     

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