Babyshower Grump

[Bee7]

My friends are insisting on arranging a babyshower for me and (without sounding ungrateful) i really don't want it! I don't really like a fuss and get a little self concious etc at the best of times, so having all of the attention on me isn't really my idea of fun. Even on birthdays and stuff i keep things low key, it's just how i am. Not only that, but they keep saying how it will be a great opportunity to 'have some drinks' and are being very selective about the 'guest list' - i.e. only inviting people THEY want. I feel as if they're doing it more for a gathering/piss up than anything baby related.

Overall i haven't felt like i've had much support from them throughout the pregnancy. They've said all the right things like how excited they are etc, but they're actions have suggested otherwise. I think they'll all find it a big novelty when he's first here but then it'll wear off and they'll get bored with the fact that i can't go out socialising and stuff all the time. They often talk about going on girly holidays and stuff as though i can still parktake and up and leave baby all of the time. Also i'm having a boy and they haven't really bothered to hide their disappointment since they all wanted to buy 'girls things' which has hurt my feelings quite a bit. In general i just think that there interest is very shallow and that they're probably arranging a babyshower for the wrong reasons. Just not sure how to put them off without appearing ungrateful xx

 

[Meljs]

Could you try and put them off saying you would rather hold a meet the baby party after you give birth and that they can help you with that instead. That way the baby will be the centre of attention not you. I wouldn't want a baby shower as to me if someone wants to buy the baby a present that is fine but I don't expect them to and wouldn't consider a registery and baby showers seem to be about what people can get for you (my opinion only)

 

[Bee7]

That's another thing, i'd feel really cheeky if loads of people turned up with gifts etc. I don't expect anything. If they want to buy baby something when he's born then thats lovely, but holding a babyshower is almost like forcing people to buy things. My friends don't see it like that though x

 

[Hayley1608]

I know how you feel, I didn't have a baby shower. My friends said they were going to organise one but they didn't and tbh I was glad! They were always out drinking when I was pregnant and even tried to convince me I should go out to town with them and we would just go somewhere quiet and have a dance! I tried to tell them that it didn't interest me as personally I think doing things like that when you are carrying a life is just too much if a risk and is just wrong. I also got married whilst I was pregnant and they arranged a girls night in for me rather than a hen party because I told them about my views on going out dancing whilst pregnant. They stayed in for an hour and then started getting ready to go out in their own abd left me having my girls night in on my own

Maybe try and explain to them you really appreciate the offer but that you just don't really want a baby shower because of the reasons that you've said. They could show their appreciation in other ways but it doesn't sound like they are being very good friends and more like they are doing it for their pleasure than for you and your son.

Hugs for you

Hayley
X

 

[BabyBrain]

Ah hun I totally sympathise. I love making a fuss of other people but hate being centre of attention myself. Although tbh with the size of me now it's hard to merge into the background lol.

I'd refuse to have a baby shower personally, mainly because no-one I know could really be assed to do one and it would put people out.

It's a nice idea if the right intentions are behind it but from what you say it seems they are doing it for selfish reasons and that's not right. Have a look around for pregnancy classes/gatherings in your area and try to meet some mums-to-be that you can connect to xxxxxxx

 

[Loula]

If you dont want one then explain that to the girls. personally i dont think theyre treating you as their friend and as for being dispppointed because your having a boy thats awful, i know we all like little girly bits but automatically im drawn to boys stuff in the shops.

Dont think id want a baby shower either as like youve all said its like they have to buy you something and i feel guilty if the family talk about buying the baby things.

Its better if they buy something for him when hes born if they want to x

 

[hellywelly]

I don't think I'll have this problem. My best friend is really baby-phobic and would probably organise an 'alternative' baby shower that involved drinking gin and going clubbing or some such nonsense!!! lol x