Baby's surname

[megsmeadow]

Hello Ladies,
Now, this is something that has been bugging me since I found out I was pregnant. We got engaged in August and were planning the wedding for Oct '10 (although hadn't actually booked anything). Our plan is obviously still to get married but probably not as originally planned.

My main thoughts are probably silly but hold a bit of meaning to me. When baby arrives I would like it to have my fiance's name from the start, is there any way around this without getting married before baby is born? I heard of someone who changed their name for 'medical purposes' for this reason but wouldn't know how to go about it. We might of course have a very simple basic wedding and do the whole vows, family, party thing at a later date.

 

[Me, My Girls & I]

you can change your name whenever you like hun! you can do it online here...

http://www.ukdps.co.uk/

costs about 40quid and is dead simple!

 

[Mervs Mum]

You dont have to get married. You can give the baby his name. My sister isnt getting married till next year but my nephew has always had his dad's surname.

Unless I'm reading your post wrong.....

 

[Me, My Girls & I]

i think it was me that read it wrong!! i read it as meg wanted her OHs surname too

 

[Mervs Mum]

You confused me....

 

[Me, My Girls & I]

i have that affect on people

 

[megsmeadow]

Hehehe, I'm confused and I've confused everyone!! I would like to take his name too, I just wondered that if I went into hospital with my maiden name then it would be 'baby me' not 'baby us', does that make any sort of sense or am I confusing things even more??

 

[Mervs Mum]

In the hospital, unless you are married they will call the baby by your surname. The only way round is to deed poll your name. That's pretty easy. You can change your name to Mickey Mouse if you want! You dont have to have a reason.

 

[megsmeadow]

He he, I'd prefer Minnie

 

[Mervs Mum]

Some loon got so sick of junk mail coming to his house he changed his name to 'The Occupier'.......

 

[megsmeadow]

hahahahhahaha, very funny! I'm contemplating changing it to the previous owner of my house, I still get all her stocks and shares documents!!!

 

[Sam's Mum]

If you're getting married quite soon anyway is it worth changing your name first? Or did you want all of you to have the same name from the start? You can give the baby his surname when you register the birth without you having that name too x

 

[Mervs Mum]

I think it's in the hospital that she's particularly bothered about. I remember my nephew having our surname ie my sister's when he was in hospital. His little wrist bands have it on and then he was registered with his Dad's name. My sister actually quite liked it. It was just while he was in there and then he got his 'proper' name. It's so they can tie them up with their mums for obvious reasons.

 

[Me, My Girls & I]

katie was baby "x" in hospital, cos we werent married, and then we registered her as baby "y". now trying to go about changing her back to baby "x", but thats a whole other kettle of fish

 

[titch]

Ooh I hadn't even thought about this. My OH and I aren't married but I definately want the baby to have his second name. We too plan to get married when we finally get the money together...baby gets financial priority right now! Also I have heard that the laws about parental responsibility are complicated for unmarried parents...is it true that my OH will have to adopt our baby in order to have parental responsibility???

 

[karen78]

oh god this is all so confusing lol my first son has his dads surname it was only in the hospital where he had mine so there was no confusing babies. we never ever married. i was married when had second son(still am lol) and he had our surname.

im not too sure how the parental resposabilitys work me and ex have always got on when it has come to eldest son. but my brother who has seperated from his girlfriend when there was a bit of hassle between her and new boyfriend they threatened to take kids of of her but they would not hand them to my little brother cause he had no parental responsabilities which i think is all wrong. he now has to visit solicitors and fight for residency for his own children

 

[titch]

Oh dear that is complicated for your brother! I hope he can sort it out. Its such a shame when children end up in the middle of a breakup.

It's worth having it for the dad though not just for sorting things out in the event of a relationship breakdown but also I work for the NHS with children and because of confidentality we are not allowed to talk to anyone about a child's condition except the mother and only the father if he has parental responsibility... if daddy was looking after the kids and one had a bump and ended up in A&E, if he didnt have parental responsibility he wouldn't be able to consent or NOT consent to any treatments. I suppose filling in forms for school trips etc.. could not be done by daddy.

I'm not 100% about it all cos I'm not the one who gets consent but I did a training course on it a few years ago and its playing on my mind, now that we are in that situation!

 

[megsmeadow]

It's even bigger than consent!! If (heaven forbid) I were to die and didn't have a will, my OH would also not have any legal right over our (future) child!! We have a friend who's just done his 'will training' for want of a better term, and he came to us asking if we are all sorted in that sense.

We might have a simple ceremony sometime before baby is born as I do want us to be married. I am waiting to see what our parents think too, if they don't have very strong feelings then obviously we'd like for them to be happy too. I am struggling to try and sort out in my head what I think though, and not what my mum has told me her opinion is all these years!!

So many things to think about, this baby business is hard work, and it's not even born yet!!!!!!

 

[titch]

Oh I know, my OH asked if I wanted to get married before the baby was born and its so hard to separate in my mind whether its just the baby making me want to be a 'mrs' or whether I actually want to rush a wedding for the baby's sake. I had wanted to wait and have a lovely wedding when we can afford it but now Im pregnant Ive done a 180!lol!

 

[Katy_89]

I got engaged in Feb. I won't be having a rush wedding before bubs is born as personally that isn't what I want for my wedding. I know that baby will have my name just while we're in hospital, but when he's registered properly he will have OH's surname. As far as I'm aware if your OH is named on the birth certificate and signs it then he does have parental rights when it comes to the child, regardless of whether you're married. xx