Hello ladies, I just really cause use soe advice please... Since I had Hayden my hormones have been extremly up and down, as to be expected, but sometimes I really worry because prior to having him I was very depressed and it took me a long while (with therapy) to overcome it... Im really scared of returning down that road, it was a miserable one, and something I will never forgive myself for if my son ever has to witness it... At the moment I ponder on certain things, and I literally just cry and cry and cry! Umm hello I have a beautiful boy? What more could I want!!! I hate not having this control over my body!!! I know i should'nt think this but sometimes when I do certain things aswell, I make mistakes, like I have changed him 4 times and he has weed in the air, i know its funny but i feel like such a failure when it happens! I also (like others) keep thinking about certain aspects of the birth, again pondering on things which don't even need to think about. I refuse to feel sorry for myself and refuse to be depressed but find it so hard when tears are rolling out my eyes and i cant stop them! You could run a bath with them!