baby blues leading to PND/depression?

[Steelgoddess]

Hello ladies,

I just really cause use soe advice please...

Since I had Hayden my hormones have been extremly up and down, as to be expected, but sometimes I really worry because prior to having him I was very depressed and it took me a long while (with therapy) to overcome it...

Im really scared of returning down that road, it was a miserable one, and something I will never forgive myself for if my son ever has to witness it...

At the moment I ponder on certain things, and I literally just cry and cry and cry! Umm hello I have a beautiful boy? What more could I want!!! I hate not having this control over my body!!!

I know i should'nt think this but sometimes when I do certain things aswell, I make mistakes, like I have changed him 4 times and he has weed in the air, i know its funny but i feel like such a failure when it happens!

I also (like others) keep thinking about certain aspects of the birth, again pondering on things which don't even need to think about.

I refuse to feel sorry for myself and refuse to be depressed but find it so hard when tears are rolling out my eyes and i cant stop them! You could run a bath with them!

 

[muppetmummy]

the peeing in the air thing still gets me now sometimes! I've been wee-d on so many times!
I'd say its still early days for you so don't worry too much, but if these feelings continue after 6 weeks have a chat with your doc or hv about it. It is hard work being a mummy, I still often feel like I'm winging it and I'm on number 2

 

[lfc_sarah]

Aw hun babys wee on you....
Its a fact of life...

Ive had it happen many a time....

And Lee... which is hillerious after he said " he never wees on me"

Callum poo'd on me once too while we were having a bath together... lol

 

[Gem & Leland]

the weeing thing does get better , leland has use to without fail wee when his nappy came off , inc in the weighing scales at clinic !!!!! but rarely does it anymore thank god !

and weve all been there , we wanted the baby so much and then you find ya self crying , its weird , lots of hugs

 

[Jollypops]

Sharne heres a big fat long hug
Its very early days for you at the moment and everyone in the first two weeks is very emotional, confused and very tired!
We wait all this time to have children and suddenly their here and its a major shock in some ways, and we have to learn to adjust to their needs which can be hard as we've only had to worry about ourselves!
Take each day as it comes, cry when you need to, but talk to people to and dont hold back.
(Cry when Hayden aims and gets you but think to yourself hey sunshine not for long! - Calum used to get me at 2am, he still poos on me too!)
I think its to early to say its PND, so carry on, try to relax and hey whats abit of wee between friends!
Take it easy and chin up girl.................you can do it!
xx

 

[Sherlock]

Firstly

My one thing during pregnancy was that I worried about getting PND. And ha it happened.

I'd say that the first couple of weeks after birth are strange regarding hormones. The crying for no reason is normal. I used to sit and wail and my hubby would just hold me. I never knew why I was crying, but I did. Happens a lot apparently. So you are not alone there.

Hormones take a while to settle down after having a baby so try not to get too stressed out by things. I know its hard to see the funny side of things when tired, aching and coping with a newborn but don't dwell on the little things like weeing.

I think maybe talk to your HV about having some counselling asap to help you come to terms with the birth. Even if you just talk it over with your HV maybe it will help. But if its causing you problems try nipping it in the bud now and seek help. Leaving it too long might lead to more feelings of depression and trigger PND. I swear I only got PND due to my health problems combined with a very demanding baby. On his own I could cope. With all the other crap I was a wreck. As soon as I 'fessed up to feeling shit and sought help things improved. My health problems didn't but thats a whole other story for Jeremy Kyle But it stopped my PND from progressing further.

Feel free to drop me a PM anytime hun if you want to talk

 

[Steelgoddess]

Thanks for the gr8 response!

goo news is that i had a gr8 day today and yesterday was ok too, didnt cry once today, also got out the house which help, i even told hubby to cheer up lol!!

I will monitor it and see how i get on, its best to be aware of these things just in case!

xx

 

[dannii87]

Oh Sharney

I had a night the other night where I just cried! My Mum heard me and came up to see us. I sobbed and she told me to get it all out and cry as much as I need to. She gave me a hug & I felt much better.

Try not to box yourself already though hun, you're still in the baby blues stage. It's not PND and you have no more chance of getting it just because you were depressed a while ago.

We all have times where we just need to cry. Our hormones (like you said) are flying EVERYWHERE!

xxx

 

[xkikix]

Aw hun I think its too early to be PND but keep your eye on it and speak to HV if you still feel like this in a couple of weeks. It really does help to get out and about, if I stay in all day I start to get a bit ratty and miserable x

 

[Becky]

I had a bit of baby blues and it felt very similar to what you've described. I don't know where the line is drawn between baby blues and PND but I imagine it's different for everyone.

I remember feeling such a failure because I hadn't managed to deliver "naturally" and I felt bad that my body had failed. I also had a really bad time with breastfeeding the second night after she was born and I was in floods of tears at the prospect of failing my daughter a second time in the 48 hours since she was born because I was seriously considering formula feeing. Rubbish realy when you think all a baby needs is love and nourishment.

I also had a blip a few weeks later when I just felt so lost and didn't know how to admit to people (my OH & mum) that I was less than 100% happy.

Oh and as for making mistakes, I remember trying to cut DD's fingernails and slipped and drew blood - stupid me, I should have stuck to nibbling them off but for some reason didn't. I have never felt so stupid and like such a failure in my life. Mum's are supposed to protect their children from hurt, not cause it.

I guess what I'm saying is that all this is normal and should pass, take help and support when you need it and don't be afraid to admit to your family when things are less than perfect.

If after a little while you don't improve then it's worth mentioning it to your GP/HV.

I really hope it's just baby blues for you and it passes quickly

 

[sparky]

Sharne please dont worry yet..i was a blubbering wreck too i remember all the mums on the mat ward sobbing through the night.

Just keep an eye on yourself, i've been told i have PND now, really due to health stuff and having a baby with a few probs at the start combined with sleep deprivation. I really feel like i'm going to get better tho. I went to a baby massage class today which was brill, Hayden will be able to in a few weeks time, i found out about the sure start thingy at the centre and it sounds ace...esp when they have childminders to look after the wee one for a couple of hours in the same room so you can relax, have a coffee and even some complementary therapy..i'm actually looking forward to it!

Please please stop feeling like you are failing...it's totally normal to feel that way, but its impossible to doing everything 100% right 100% of the time, you're not superwoman for fucks sake...none of us are, but all we can do is our best...which you are doing...make sure you tell yourself that from time to time. I made the mistake of comparing my baby to others and then stressing as she wasnt the same as them...i made the classic mistake of forgettign she's an individual so will never come with a text book!

It does get easier, just think about how more difficult it was a few days ago.

Motherhood is a lifelong challenge, your children grow and their needs always change, unless you're Derek Acora..or whatever his name is your're not going to be there exactly when they need you giving them exactly what they want, we all just have to muddle through and learn on the job!

giving you big hugs from one mummy to another

 

[trixipaws]

millie likes top wait until she's all clean after her bath and i put her down on the (laminate) floor downstairs to finish drying while i fetch the nappy- then wee on the floor and start playing in it, sliding her hands around in glee! mummy is NOT amused. lol well i am a little bit actually!

seriously tho sharne, i think maybe u should talk to someone if ur crying uncontrollably and for no (conscious) reason. im sorry im not much help here im one of the lucky ones i escaped PND.

 

[Steelgoddess]

Thanks for the lovely replies ladies it does help...
Been very up and down today, was in tears last night guess what hayden weed on me again, damn i was doing so well in catching them But I didnt react too well I got really upst and walked off, luckily OH was there to help me sort him out and me too by giving me a cuddle...

I guess thats the thing sometimes I am an all or nothing person I try to do it all perfectly and if its then then its beat myself up time.

I just don;t know why one minute I will feel fine, happy laughing joking and the next be crying, upset depressed etc!

The good news is i still manage to cuddle and smile at Hayden so hoping these "Blues" bugger off pronto. It's funny cause when I was pregnant ok i giot mioody but never felt low...
They need to invent a pretend pregnancy drug lol!!!

 

[scones]

didnt want to read and run

I was teary after my son was born (7 yrs ago now), and I remember thinking 'well the book didnt say that happened' when he would say, wake up just after a feed and I thought i was going to get an hour sit down with a cuppa tea. Then all the stuff like getting dinner ready, ironing washing etc would be on my mind.My DH used to say to me, ask for help, men are funny things as well they dont always see the obvious and think that we women are coping fine and dont want to step on our toes but in reality you are struggling.

Hope you feel better soon and make sure you get enough rest-slow down your pace and remember, you have just been through labour!!! Its trauma x

 

[Mildly]

I know how you feel Sharne I totally sympathise too

I can't stop the tears falling either and am hoping it doesn't develop into PND. I sure we'll both be fine after a week or so, we just need our hormones to settle down

 

[GBLiz]

They need to invent a pretend pregnancy drug lol!!!

hear hear!! I was sooo happy when i was pregnant in spite of having huge stresses I felt happier underneath than i ever have (have also had depression in the past) and i felt sooo loved up...

Now i find myself feeling unmotivated, irritable, i criticise OH all the time even though he is just the same as he ever was...

Like you im hoping to get my old personality back, but i think its understandable to have some kind of knock-on effect from the huge life changing responsibility we've taken on and it doesnt necessarily mean you have or will get PND

Im not an expert but the difference i think is if you are really starting to struggle to function, or functionning in a complete haze. or if the crying doesnt stop, then maybe you need to get it checked out.