Dovekie
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My boyfriend went out at the weekend, returned home at 9am without getting in touch with me, and took ecstasy. He doesn't make a habit of it as he suffers from colitis. It was his 40th and he says a one-off. He does have a long history of recreational drugs, however, and there will be more special occasions in the future, such as this one.
Last night, I asked him to promise me he wouldn't do it again as I've just moved in with him and I'll be having his baby in May. He went crazy and said I'm trying to take away his freedom and basic human rights. He said he "doubts" it would happen again but simply will not agree with me, that it will be inappropriate in the future. He said he can't promise that sort of thing and kept blaming my "attitude" for his unwillingness to promise me he won't do it.
I ended up packing everything I'd just unpacked a couple of weeks ago. This morning, he behaved like nothing happened and asks me what's wrong and why I'm not happy. I'm scared to talk and cause another argument and stressful situation for our baby. I try to explain that i need to be able to discuss issues with him and i need to know that the drug taking will not happen again, as it's a deal breaker for me. Once again, he gets defensive and tells me he won't agree because I'm raising my voice (i can hardly speak). He then accuses me of just wanting an excuse to leave him. He did apologise afterwards for shouting at me but still wouldn't promise me.
I'm so fed up. We keep arguing. Last week I left him and stayed with my parents for a few days. We have only lived together for 2 weeks! I have antenatal depression, but I wonder if I would have it at all if I wasn't in this sort of environment. I'm living out of bags and boxes in the spare room. I'm struggling to organise my life because I don't know if I'm staying or going. My mother basically tells me I'm ridiculous for thinking about moving out into my own place. I feel like I have no support. I just want to have a happy pregnancy and not get postnatal depression, which I think I'm at risk of getting right now.
What would you do?
Last night, I asked him to promise me he wouldn't do it again as I've just moved in with him and I'll be having his baby in May. He went crazy and said I'm trying to take away his freedom and basic human rights. He said he "doubts" it would happen again but simply will not agree with me, that it will be inappropriate in the future. He said he can't promise that sort of thing and kept blaming my "attitude" for his unwillingness to promise me he won't do it.
I ended up packing everything I'd just unpacked a couple of weeks ago. This morning, he behaved like nothing happened and asks me what's wrong and why I'm not happy. I'm scared to talk and cause another argument and stressful situation for our baby. I try to explain that i need to be able to discuss issues with him and i need to know that the drug taking will not happen again, as it's a deal breaker for me. Once again, he gets defensive and tells me he won't agree because I'm raising my voice (i can hardly speak). He then accuses me of just wanting an excuse to leave him. He did apologise afterwards for shouting at me but still wouldn't promise me.
I'm so fed up. We keep arguing. Last week I left him and stayed with my parents for a few days. We have only lived together for 2 weeks! I have antenatal depression, but I wonder if I would have it at all if I wasn't in this sort of environment. I'm living out of bags and boxes in the spare room. I'm struggling to organise my life because I don't know if I'm staying or going. My mother basically tells me I'm ridiculous for thinking about moving out into my own place. I feel like I have no support. I just want to have a happy pregnancy and not get postnatal depression, which I think I'm at risk of getting right now.
What would you do?