Arghhhhhg!

Discussion in 'Breastfeeding' started by stargirl, Jun 7, 2013.

  1. stargirl

    stargirl Well-Known Member

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    Don't you just hate well intentioned family members!!!! I'm really sorry but need to rant!

    Yesterday I went to my MIL's with my OH because his Aunty and uncle where there with a present for Harry! Why they couldn't have come to us I do not know. Harry was cluster feeding so whilst we were there I had to go feed him about 3 times, close together. When said family members went, baring in mind OH's Aunty is a retired midwife, my mil decided to tell me that OH's Aunty thought maybe my milk isn't satisfying Harry if I have to feed him so often and that we should introduce a couple of formula feeds!! I could have cried.

    In a week Harry has put on 10 1/2 oz so I'd say my milk is doing something right.!

    Sorry for the long post I just needed to get this off my chest. I don't know about anyone else but I never once felt pressured into breastfeeding. It's something I always wanted to do - however I do feel pressured into bottle feeding all the time!


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  2. knopk@

    [email protected] Well-Known Member

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    Please hun ignore people like that. It is totally normal.to cluster feed, i had similar comments but being 2nd time mum.i.dont give a flying monkey. You are doing very well and thats a great amount of weight! Babies cluster feed to increase supply and they feed a lot in the firsy 6-8 weeks, establishing your supply.
    Introducing formula will probably hinder your supply.


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  3. Wilson28

    Wilson28 Well-Known Member

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    my advice is ignore the older generations, times have changed since then and your ickle one is having no doubt growth spurts, ive i could recieve a £1 for everytime my aunty said give him formula its about time you tuck him off the boob, give him baby rice its about time he had food, what part of kiss my hairy ball sack do you no respect my wishes to carry on breastfeeding and not give him aload of false crap, whats wrong with fruit and veg these day??? xx
     
  4. cosmicgirl

    cosmicgirl Well-Known Member

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    I had a meltdown exactly like this when lo was about 8 weeks old.
    I was suffering agonising pain from acute nipple trauma and it really was a hard time. "Just give formula" my well meaning oh and mum would say over and over. It really got me down to the point where we we had a stand up row with me screaming "I don't want to give my baby formula!!!!!". It really upset me, they were not helping and I felt completely unsupported.
    So I know how you feel.
    Be strong, don't give formula, carry on bf on demand and you will come out the other side and really enjoy it xx
     
  5. knopk@

    [email protected] Well-Known Member

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    Oh and another one is feeding on schedule. I was very annoyed when my MIL repeated about 20 times a day - But he just had a feed recently, he doesnt need feeding yet.
    Yes, of course you know my baby better than me and of course i will let him scream when he is hungry...NOT.


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  6. babybee

    babybee Well-Known Member

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    Omg I know how you feel! I'd always get 'you know a bottle wouldn't hurt?' It would get right on my nerves. But then my mum would be the polar opposite and if I expressed or said I felt like giving E formula my mum would just pipe up with 'no I don't think so' as though it was her baby.

    The thought of both attitudes reeeeeeally irritate me.
     
  7. stargirl

    stargirl Well-Known Member

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    Thanks ladies. I just really needed to get it off my chest. My mum never bf and doesn't know much about it. When I was pregnant she was dead against me bf now that baby's here and I'm doing it she has turned her opinion around and loves it. She's been so supportive and I'm so thankful for that. However she wishes she could do more to help and feels for me because she can see how tired I am. She can't wait till I start to give expressed bottles. But then I have OH's sister telling me that if I'm going to give a bottle of expressed milk why not just make it formula. Arghhhh! I just wish family members with different opinions to myself should leave off telling me theirs until my hormones settle down a but more!


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  8. Nicnax

    Nicnax Well-Known Member

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    My MIL spent about the first 8 weeks asking when I was going to give up breastfeeding, because you don't know that baby is getting enough...the fact that my little lady is a very happy baby, tracking near the 91st centile is evidence for me. Her attitude made me determined to stick with it, just to prove her wrong, and we're nearly at 5months now. When I was having a hard time, I just imagined what she'd say if I gave up, and it helped me get through it. Honestly, I don't know what it is about having a baby that makes people think they have a right to force their beliefs on you. :)
     
  9. babybee

    babybee Well-Known Member

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    Nicnax totally agree! Sometimes it's as though if you do it a different way you're insulting the way they did it. So strange!
     
  10. toni64539

    toni64539 Well-Known Member

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    Stuff like this really annoys me too! I had it a lot when Jonah was really tiny, and clusteting on an evening. But it doesn't last forever like that, seen they settle, as does your supply etc and after that its so much easier to breastfeed than bottle. I k ow you wil already know that but other people just don't seem to understand that even bottle fed babies still cluster feed at times. As regards to "if your gonna give expressed milk why not give formula" what a silly thing to say,,,,,, erm for tha same reason I don't formula feed anyway, better for baby, less chance of allergies, simple. Oh and CHEAPER!
     
  11. Karate Kid

    Karate Kid Well-Known Member

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    It's so irritating isn't it!

    I am under so much pressure to stop BFing from my in laws because my milk isn't 'complete' enough for C apparently.

    C is a milk baby and I love feeding him so it's a non-issue that he feeds regularly when I am around. When I am not around he generally has three feeds a day a bf in the morning a bottle of expressed milk in the afternoon and a BFd at night. But my in laws are convinced that he is not getting enough milk or nutrition. They don't understand why I don't give C formula instead of expressing.

    You have done so well Hun so ignore the negativity. Xx


     
  12. babybee

    babybee Well-Known Member

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    My friend (who doesnt have children) told me at the weekend that she thought I'd gone all 'new age' because I was breastfeeding. Moron.
     
  13. Wilson28

    Wilson28 Well-Known Member

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    Tell them all to kiss your hairy ball sack!! Your CHOICE, your BABY, your WAY, so get used to it and keep your thoughts to yrself :)) xx
     
  14. sarah1

    sarah1 Well-Known Member

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    This thread has made me feel better about wanting to persevere with bfing when everyone else thinks I'm crazy! I've almost given in to oh and everyone else telling me to give up completely but I'm determined to hang in there!

    Ignore them all.....I have my FIL always telling me what to do about feeding, what does he know?! He doesn't have boobies!

    Xx
     
  15. tweetyfoo

    tweetyfoo Well-Known Member

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    I've been quite lucky - with the encouragement I've had off my family, but I know if my mum was closer I'd be getting grief.

    When I last saw her and I was still expressing 6 times a day she asked me "can you not just express for ages in the morning for the full day" :lol:

    Even my aunt-in-law - who is a lactation consultant has advised I give up as its "hard work" expressing full time
     
  16. Wilson28

    Wilson28 Well-Known Member

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    you think older folk would all be for team breast, they are the tight buggers that dont like to part with much lol, breast is free xx
     
  17. stargirl

    stargirl Well-Known Member

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    Sat here feeding my little man and reading all your comments and I have to say I'm quite proud of myself.

    I'm giving my baby the best possible start I can and its not easy but I'm doing it! I was so determined to bf when pregnant and I do think that determination played a big part to me not giving up yet. H is 4 weeks old now and I'm not going to put myself under any pressure. I don't know if I'll still be bf in 2 weeks or 2 months but at the moment I am and I'm so pleased. Thanks for the support ladies :) xx


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  18. Karate Kid

    Karate Kid Well-Known Member

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    I am 10 months in and I still take each day as it comes. I have had quite a few wobbles but it is so rewarding.

    Well done momma you are doing fab job xx


     

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